Two For None

Ginger Snap Productions

About

Two for None is a comedy cricket podcast featuring two great mates who are terrible cricketers but what they lack in skill they make up for in banter, research and a tragic love of the game! Featuring correspondents from all over the globe!

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102 episodes

Episode 102 - Crump gets his Two-Day One Day International game of Test Cricket against the West Indies and is sad about it

Spinks and the Eucalyptus Yorker didn't know what to do with all of their free time after the first Test against the West Indies finished two-and-a-half days early. So they get a bit ranty, get a bit silly, and expect much the same for the upcoming day-night test at the Gabba. Featuring Pat Cullen. All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

1h 3m
Jan 24
Episode 101 - Australia whitewash Pakistan and Spinks gets mad about Australia's selections for the future

Spinks and the Eucalyptus Yorker are back to waddle their way through Australias 3-0 whitewash of the Test series against Pakistan, have a wee look at the series against the West Indies which starts today, and spend probably too much time ranting and raving on behalf of Cameron Bancroft and Matt Renshaw.   All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

1h 3m
Jan 16
Episode 100 - Australia beat Pakistan by the length of a wristband

Two For None hits a century! Spinks and Crump-It gather in the new year for this special episode to run you through the Australian womens tour of India, disect the Australian mens victory in the boxing day test against Pakistan, and a few of our correspondents take a little look back at their time as part of the Two For None family over the past 6 years. Featuring Chris Barty, Adam Hassan, Tom K Hawkey, and Chris Goodrick.   All clips and music usend in conjunction with our APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com    

1h 25m
Jan 03
Episode 99 - Pakistan fields as well as a Summer Hill 8th Grade squad and gets rolled

Spinks and Crumpet are back to chat about the day 4 demolition of Pakistan at Optus Stadium in Perth, a quick hello said by the man upstairs Patrick Cullen, a small look towards what will inevitably the same result at the MCG from boxing day, and a preview of the Australian Womens cricket team's series against India which kicks off at Wankhede Stadium today (wishing Alyssa Healy a cracker of a series for her first whilst sitting in the captains chair). From all of us at Two For None, we wish everyone a cracking holiday season. Stay safe, be merry, hang out with your chosen family and we will see you in the new year to celebrate Two For None's 100th episode! All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au. for details. Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

57m
Dec 21, 2023
Episode 98 - The 12th Men Expect a Walk in the Park Against Pakistan and the West Indies

The Two For None drinks runners, Alexander Spinks and Oliver Crump, have been thrown in to open the batting as our Numbers 1 and 2, Pat and Barto, have had to leave the team for the summer on compassionate grounds so they can get marries and have children. Together? Not to Spinks' knowledge, but they would be a great pairing. Featuring Adam Hassan and Pat Cullen, we chat about the upcoming series against Pakistan, who could replace David Warner when he retires (presumably at Sydney), will he make it that far or will Mitchell Johnson come out of retirement to bowl a beamer at Warner in the nets to speed up that retirement plan? We shall wait and see! Featured clips and music this episode included Don't Stop Me Now by Queen UMI 1974, Fight For Your Right by The Beastie Boys Def Jam Records 1986, and Channel 9 News 9/12/2023. All music is used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au http://apra.com.au/ for details. You can check us out at gingersnapsydney.com . 

50m
Dec 13, 2023
Episode 97 - Australia wins the '23 ODI WC!

Somehow, someway the Aussies have won the ODI World Cup for a record sixth time! The bin lid comes through, the Aussies nail the conditions read and Cummins raises the cup! Also, a series wrap from Chris Goodrick and TK Hawkey heads out to sea. Featured clips and music this episode included We Are the Champions by Queen UMI 1977  Gala Performance Laurie Johnson 1969 KPM music, Pub with no Beer and Waltzing Matilda by Slim Dusty 1957, Tina Turner SImply the best  1989 Capitol Records and the X files theme by Mark Snow 1996 Warner Brothers Music. All music is used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au http://apra.com.au/ for details. You can check us out at gingersnapsydney.com http://gingersnapsydney.com/ .

54m
Nov 26, 2023
Episode 96 - ODI World Cup - Semi Final Wrap and Final Preview!

Hooo boy somehow someway the Aussies have made it into the final, the Kiwis fall agonisingly short, India gets ready for their inevitable corination and is that an airway obstruction we can hear from the southern tip of Africa? Pat and Chris return to the host's chair as Jai Singh, Chris Goodrick, Alex Spinks, Adam Hassan and a mystery guest all report in with tapes!  Featured clips and music in this episode included Grease is the Word of the Australian Cast recording Universal Music 2013, Gala Performance Laurie Johnson 1969 KPM music and Army of the Night by Powerwolf 2015. All music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. Email us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

1h 4m
Nov 17, 2023
Episode 95 - ODI World Cup - Week 5 Wrap!

Spinks and Joe take the reigns as Pat heads to the small island nation of New Zealand for a gig. The world, nay the universe is overcome with Maxwell-Feaver, India continue their inevitable rise to the top, South Africa force Pat into a pie eating marathon and who cares about England anyway? With Chris Goodrick, Adam Hassan, Jai Singh and Patrick Cullen.  All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA/AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. You can get in touch with us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

50m
Nov 13, 2023
Episode 94 - ODI World Cup - Week 4

A massive week in the ODI world cup, the Aussies beat the Kiwis, India just destroy everything in their path, the Saffas are on the rise and Pakistan are all but out of the running. A huge episode, including a brand new (terrible) segment from Chris that is sure to have fans clamouring for more. Feating Tom K Hawkey, Adam Hassan, Alex Spinks, Chris Goodrick and Jai Singh. Featured clips and music this episode included Too Close for Comfort by Sammy Davis Jr 1962. All music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. You can check us out at gingersnapsydney.com

1h 2m
Nov 05, 2023
Episode 93 - ODI World Cup - Week 3 Wrap!

What a wild week of games in the 2023 ODI World Cup! There's results and and crazy stuff happening everywhere! England are crashing, South Africa are on the rise, Pakistan are teetering and India plow on but arguably most importantly - are the bloody Aussies in with a shot here!? Featuring Tom K Hawkey, Adam Hassan, Jai Singh, Chris Goodrick and Alex Spinks. Two for None is produced me Patrick Cullen at Ginger Snap Productions and edited by Mike Wilcox at Midnight Publishing. Featured clips and music this episode included SFX used from the BBC free SFX website: https://sound-effects.bbcrewind.co.uk/ and Don't stop Believing by Journey 1981 Columbia records, Chariots of Fire by Vangelis 1981 Polydor. All music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. You can check us out at gingersnapsydney.com

1h 1m
Oct 29, 2023
Episode 92 - ODI World Cup - Week 2 Wrap!

Hands down one of our funniest episodes of TFN to date. Pat and Chris break down all the action from week two of the ODI World Cup 2023. Correspondents this ep are Tom K Hawkey, Alex Spinks, Adam Hassan, Jai Singh, Chris Goodrick and in a guest appearance live from Marrickville golf club, Michael Wood! Clips and music this episode came from the BBC free SFX website: https://sound-effects.bbcrewind.co.uk. The Afghan national anthem comes from this website: https://nationalanthems.info/The final song is a cover of Everybody Hurts by MC Rai, taken from the soundtrack to The Dictator. The info for the official soundtrack on Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dictator_(soundtrack) ) says it was released under a fictional record label.  "Born to Run" by K-OS.  All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. You can check us out at gingersnapsydney.com 

59m
Oct 22, 2023
Episode 91 - ODI World Cup - Week 1 Wrap!

The ODI World Cup is off to a flyer! Except if you're an Aussie fan. India crush their opponents, a huge win to South Africa, an inconsistent start from England and Pakistan push on! Adam Hassan, Tom K Hawkey, Chris Goodrick and Jai Singh all give their thoughts on the first week. Chris and Pat lament a poor start for the Aussies. It's all happening! The episode was produced by Patrick Cullen at Ginger Snap Productions and edited by Mike Wilcox at Midnight Publishing. Featured clips and music for this episode included Don't Dream its Over by Crowded House 1986 UMG, and Anymore by goldfrap 2017 WMG. All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details.

44m
Oct 15, 2023
Episode 90 - 2023 ODI World Cup Preview!

Chris Barty is back in the co-host chair to preview the 2023 ODI World Cup in India! Featuring previews for Pakistan, England, South Africa and Australia from Adam Hassan, TK Hawkey, Chris Goodrick and Alex Spinks. The episode was produced by Patrick Cullen at Ginger Snap Productions and edited by Mike Wilcox at Midnight Creative. Featured clips and music this episode included Substitute by the Who 1968 Polydor Records, Too Long by Daft Punk 2001 WMG, 500 Miles by the Proclaimers 1988 WMG and 7Cricket 2023. All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details. 

54m
Oct 01, 2023
Episode 89 - Aus v Eng - The series goes begging for both sides!

England win at the Oval in the 5th test to tie series at 2-2. A fair result but disappointing for an Aussie side that couldn't quite get us across the line. Pat and Spinks wrap the series with help from the one and only TK Hawkey. Pat has a complex theme about divine intervention that explains it all.    All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA AMCOS online mini licence, contact apra.com.au for details.    Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

50m
Aug 01, 2023
Episode 88 - Aus V Eng - Ashes retained but at what cost?

Australia retains the Ashes in the UK in the face of getting BazBalled so hard their teeth nearly fell out. An incredible Crawley innings left the tourists praying for rain and their prayers were answered! Where does this leave us now? Spinks, Pat and TK Hawkey are on deck to find out!  All music used in conjunction with APRA/AMCOS online mini license, see apra.com.au for details. Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

54m
Jul 24, 2023
Episode 87 - Aus v Eng - Defeat at Headingly and Womens Ashes on a knife edge!

A late episode here folks my apologies! Spinks and Pat disect the loss at Headingly and preview the next test at Old Trafford. TK Hawkey checks in with some selection thoughts and Bunny reviews and the Womens Ashes is poised on an absolute knife edge!! All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence contact apra.com.au for details. Edited by Mike Wilcox at Midnight Publishing. Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

56m
Jul 18, 2023
Epiosde 86 - Aus v Eng - The Victory at Lords and Controversy Central! With Alex Spinks and TK Hawkey

Australia nab a famous victory at Lords, marred by a series of high profile controversies. Meanwhile the Southern Stars keep kicking butt, playing an incredible test in the Womens Ashes. Is Ben Stokes superhuman? Was that stumping within the spirit of the game? What the hell happens now? Tune in and find out! All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA/AMCOS online mini licence. See www.apra.com.au https://www.apra.com.au for details.   Contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com  

1h 6m
Jul 04, 2023
Episode 85 - WTC Victory and the Edgbaston Thiller! Aus V England 1st Test

Wa wa wee waa what a game! Australia come from behind to secure a legendary test victory off the back of WTC success! Its all happening! BazBall, King Usman, The Goat! Spinks and Paddy are on deck to disect it all along with our resident proud Brit T.K. Hawkey. Strap in folks, its going to be one hell of a series!

59m
Jun 23, 2023
Episode 84 - A Draw in Ahmedabad - Aus V Ind 4th Test Wrap

Its a real case of be careful what you wish for, with Jai and Pat receiving their wish of a 5 day test that petered out to a draw, punctuated by moments of individual brilliance. Although it does mean both teams secure their place in the Test Championship final!    Check us out at www.gingersnapsydney.com    All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA/AMCOS online mini licence, see apra.com.au for details

21m
Mar 19, 2023
Episode 83 - Victory in Indore! Aus v India 3rd Test Wrap

Australia smash their way to victory in Indore by 9 wickets in 3 days! How did this happen? Why? From the depths of defeat into the heights of victory in 10 days!? What is happening here! Pat and Jai are on hand to figure it out.    All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence see apra.com.au for details.     Check us out at gingersnapsydney.com or email us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

24m
Mar 10, 2023
Episode 82 - Aus V Ind - The Destruction of Dehli

Australia get rick-rolled again and it was such a shellacking that even Jai Singh is feeling sorry for us! What happens when Australia only use the broom? Jadedja takes 7 and we look like fools!    Subscribe for more and email us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

26m
Feb 24, 2023
Episode 81 - Aus V Ind - The Demolition in Nagpur with Jai Singh

While Chris is out on Dad Duty, Pat is chatting to TFN's own in-house Indian cricket correspondent, Jai Singh for a full debrief on the demolition in Nagpur. The Aussie men's team losing by an innings and over 100 runs. Yikes!   email us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

30m
Feb 16, 2023
Episode 80 - Summer wrap, Mankad feaver and Big Dad Energy with Alex Spinks and TK Hawkey

Chris Barty is now a dad! So Alex Spinks steps into the host chair with Pat. TK Hawkey chimes in with a bulletin from a Brit and Pat and Spinks come up with their all time Dad attributes XI for Barto. Music The Kooks, Bad Taste in my mouth, Unshelved Records 2008. All music and clips used in conjunction with our APRA/AMCOS online mini licence see apra.com.au for details. You can contact us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com

1h 3m
Feb 01, 2023
Episode 79 - Better Late Than Never with Alex Spinks

Did Pat forget to upload this episode because he was in Margaret River, off the grid and up to his eyeballs in cabernet? Yes indeed. Is it still a cracking episode? You tell us! Were talking runouts, wild catches, SA V Aus and the decline of test cricket. Music is Help by the Beatles EMI 1966. All music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini license, contact apra.com.au for details.  email us at gingersnapsydney@gmail.com 

56m
Jan 10, 2023
Episode 78 - Christmas eve uncertainty, Bazball rulz and the Philosophers XI

Pat and Chris launch an enquiry into the greenest Gabba wicket in decades, TK Hawkey sings Bazballs praises, Adam Hassan bemoans Pakistan injuries and Barto presents the Philosophers XI.  Get around it!   Clips and music in this episode was Somethin' Stupid (Frank and Nancy Sinatra 1967 reprise records and the kareoke version of jingle bells by sing king on youtube. the two for none theme is written and performed by me! All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA/AMCOS online mini licence. See APRA.com.au for details 

58m
Dec 27, 2022
Episode 77 - WI get rolled, Warner's bombshell and Bazball with TK Hawkey, Alex Spinks, Adam Hassan and Jai Singh

A collossal two weeks in cricket. Pakistan and England fight out a crazy test series, records tumble in the Aus v WI series and Indian cricket reaches a turning point.  Featuring Alex Spinks, Adam Hassan, Tom Hawkey and Jai Singh.  Clips and music in this episode was Run by OneRepublic 2021 interscope and Vogue - Madonna 1980 Warner borthers and the two for none theme is written and performed by me! All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA/AMCOS online mini licence. Contact apra.com.au for details. 

1h 4m
Dec 13, 2022
Episode 76 - Season 5 Begins with Chris Goodrick, Alex Spinks and TK Hawkey

Two For None is back for 22/23 and we have upped our game! New segments, all your favourite correspondents and even a new editor!  Pat and Chris are back to talk T20 World Cup, ODIs v England, the rise of T10 cricket and the importance of the Prime Minister's 11 as well as the Prime Ministers' 11. Stay tuned for that! All clips and music used in conjunction with our APRA-AMCOS online mini licence, see apra.com.au for more details. Big thanks to Mike Wilcox for editing.  Follow us on Facebook or email gingersnapsydney@gmail.com   

59m
Nov 27, 2022
Episode 75 - Season 4 Finale! With Adam Hassan and Heidi Cheadle

Pat and Chris are joined by Heidi all the way from the UK to wrap up a memorable 21/22 cricket summer. Adam Hassan leaves a series wrapping tape full of optimism for Pakistan cricket.  Clips in this episode were 8 Bit dubstep by Ross Bugden check out his youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/RossBugden/videos and Tripple Ms coverage of the 21/22 ashes series  All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence OL-2028

46m
Apr 19, 2022
Epiosde 74 - Aussies win in Pakistan and Tales from Tour! Plus Womens WC Update!

Pat and Chris wrap up the Australia v Pakistan test series win with help from Alex Spinks. Heidi Cheadle drops by with an update on the Womens ODI WC and Adam Hassan debuts a new segment - Tales from Tour!  Clips in this episode were This is how we do it by Montell Jordan 1994 Def Jam Records , I wanna know what love is by Foreigner Atlantic records 1984,  All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence OL-2028

1h 9m
Mar 29, 2022
Episode 73 - A cracker in Karachi with Alex Spinks and Adam Hassan!

A truly amazing game in Karachi ends in a draw that had all results on the table! Adam Hassan is delighted and Alex Spinks bemoans the follow on.  Clips in this episode Ross Bugden-Evening / June, find him on youtube and In the End by Linkin Park off Hybrid Theory 2001 Warner Brothers,  All clips and music used in conjunction with APRA AMCOS online mini licence OL-2028

52m
Mar 19, 2022