Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

John Brandon, Jim Banks, Matthew Van Zandt, Vanessa

About

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

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448 episodes

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 2 - A Massive Tifa Moment

Square Roots - Episode 407 Johnny's out so it's another All-American episode, full of America's favourite passtimes: ball punching! Very long X-Men tangents! Chadley! Boob punching?  Also: - Midwest Emo - Wrench Cheeseburger - Who's Galactica's Mom? - More Like Pottycast - "I love living in Rocket Town!" Vs "Fuck Shinra!" - Chadley in a Wig This Week: We finish Chapter 3! Next Week:  We finish Chapter 4! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 36m
Apr 01
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 1 - Matt Wants This Episode To Be Called Sluttiroth

Square Roots - Episode 406 Square Roots plays a totally new game! Okay, not TOTALLY new. Some of it is a quarter century old. But it's somewhat new! And it just came out! This is different! This is strange! Change is bad! But we're rolling with it. So we are playing Square Enix's Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, and get through the Nibelheim Incident in Chapter 1 and Matt tries to make Sluttiroth happen. Also: - Bones Knitting - Avengers Persona Game For Grownups 😉 - A Perfect Pooping Game - Sexual Tension Causing Electrical Interference - Want To Go Walkies, Pup? - Sean Connery Wishes He Was That Beefy This Week: We finish Chapter 1 in Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth, a totally old and classic RPG Next Week:  We finish Chapter 3. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 55m
Mar 25
Bayonetta Part 3 - A Pair of Dorks

Bayonetta Part 3 - A Pair of Dorks Square Roots - Episode 405 Johnny doxes everyone in this eventful episode of our Bayonetta playthrough! We finish the game. Questions are answered, except maybe the question "is Bayonetta her own mother?" as Matt refuses to listen to any answer other than "yes". Also finally Johnny is cancelled. Also: - More Like Baldur's Gay - Is Less Than Jake Better Than Ezra? - Jim's Withering Looks to Camera - The Opposite of Gay Panic Is Lesbian Love - Mountain Dew Is Water - A Lot of Torpedo Talk This Week: We finish Bayonetta! Next Week:  We finish Chapter 1 in Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth, a totally old and classic RPG Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 58m
Mar 18
Bayonetta Part 2 - We're Too Punk Rock For Ads

Square Roots - Episode 404 The Bayonetta loving will continue until podcast output improves. In this glamorous episode of Bayonetta, we feel like f***ing celebrities as we're recognized by weird angel statue robots with Mystery Science Theatre tube arms.  And Matt paraphrases an email! Also: - Solid Mike and Naked Mike - An Unpaid Ad for Canva - Nothing Wrong With Using A Parasol To Hit Enemies - Every Game Has To Go To Space - Life Is Like A Passing Breeze This Week: We finish Chapter XI in Bayonetta Next Week:  We finish Bayonetta! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 37m
Mar 11
Bayonetta Part 1 - Lethal Weapon Joe Pesci

Bayonetta Part 1 - Lethal Weapon Joe Pesci Square Roots - Episode 403 Hooray! Everyone is loving Bayonetta! Sure, Vanessa is off due to injury and Matthew may be loving it only under duress, but that's good enough. Because loving Bayonetta is MANDATORY. And this week we start out the Platinum Games classic and learn all about the lore of the Lumen Sages, Umbra Witches, and just how close a video game camera can get inside a human body. Also: - Matt Is Rinoa's Mom - Superman is a Big Man - Blurays Can Only Hold So Much Data - Dollar Store Vin Diesel - Bayonetta's Dumpy Link Outfit This Week: We finish Chapter V in Bayonetta Next Week:  We finish Chapter XI in Bayonetta Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 15m
Mar 04
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 7 - Hot Butt Office

Square Roots - Episode 402 Finally, truly, we are in the age of Dragons. And we've really finished Dragon Age: Inquisition. Sure, we rolled credits last episode, but this one has Super Credits, with extra special Cassandra narration! Plus we may or may not lose a fan favourite character in this chunker, depending on your choices. Also: - No Spiders Man or Lasts of Us - Senshi Upskirt Shots - Weird Christopher Eccleston Hate - Passing Notes in Class - Invernerable Draygons This Week: We Finish Trespasser Next Week:  We finish Chapter V in Bayonetta Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 38m
Feb 26
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 6 - Canadian Psycho

Square Roots - Episode 401 I don't know how else to say it, but this episode should be kept far from your little ones. Why? Gazzie talk. Just. Lots of gazzie talk. Gazzies everywhere. Wall-to-wall gazzies. I swear that we've got it out of our system and next week you won't ever hear the word Gazzie again. Also: - Sony Has to Make A Game About Miserable People Watching Their Friends Die - Everyone's Favourite Character, Krattos - I Just Made Her Sleep With Alistair Once - Your Favourite Bull's Chargers: Krem, Rocky, Big Builder, Darren the Finance Guy, Blippi, Sally Jenkins, Flooz, Ma Gratton, and of course Gazzie. - Dude, Look At These Horns - The Qunari Do The Cut - Brolas This Week: We Finish the Main Story Next Week:  We Finish Trespasser Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 36m
Feb 19
The Square Roots 400th Episode Spectacular!

Square Roots - Episode 400  We interrupt this season of Square Roots for a very special 400th episode in which we talk about the ups and downs of our nerdy lives since 2016, and constantly try not to get mired in talking about politics. THEN THE ROBOTS ARRIVE! Also: - The Rootin' Rootin' Cowboy! - BLEEP BLOOP GIVE ME THE SLOOP! - Johnny Has A Stupid Game! This Week: We Have A Bonus Time Fun Time Next Week:  We Finish the Main Story Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

59m
Feb 12
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 5 - Get This Lady Away From My Grey-Ace Crossbowsexual

Square Roots - Episode 399 Uh oh, it seems like something has turned Johnny into beserker mode, where he's all fists and elbows. And that is Bianca. Johnny goes red-pill in the face of destroyed head canon in this terrifying episode of Square Roots as we drink from the Well of Sorrows. Also: - Could You Sing That Like Dio? - Ghosts Have Birthdays - King Shark, Doo-doo-de-doo-doo - Jim's Secret Fruit Roll-Ups Stash - A Don Knotts Moment - Our Pitch for Frankenmommy This Week: What Pride Has Wrought (And Crestwood, Romances, Companions) Next Week:  We Finish the Main Story Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 34m
Feb 05
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 4 - Taking Two Barbie Dolls And Smushing Their Faces Together

Square Roots - Episode 398 There's mystery afoot as Johnny, Matthew and eventually Vanessa battle some possessed Wardens and fall into the Fade on this magical chunker of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Plus a battering ram shaped like a fist!  Also: - Abblegation - Too Good Of A Singer - Countess Undercut - Who Is Celine Dion - 100% Nude Cullen Unlocked This Week: Here Lies the Abyss Next Week:  What Pride Has Wrought (And Crestwood, Romances, Companions) Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 46m
Jan 29
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 3 - #YouGotGazooed

Square Roots - Episode 397 Finally we close the breach, and everything is perfect. Except that that dang ol' Corypheus has to go and ruin it all with a demon dragon and one of two possible henchpeople. Meanwhile Jim decides to start the internet hashtag goof of the decade! Also: - Just arctic  - Jodie Pasta and Jane Fondue - Talking in hushed whispers - Far dragon age future is mass effect  - Oil of Orlais - I'm with Crypheus - Random references to people in Canada  - The Slow Clap Song This Week: Complete Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. Next Week:  Here Lies the Abyss Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 43m
Jan 22
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 2 - You're Missing Out On Voice Number 2

Square Roots - Episode 396 It's a PATRIOTS ONLY podcast. Our three hosts are RED, WHITE and BLUE. And these colours aren't busy at work. On this AMERICANS ONLY episode of Square Roots the fierce flag smoochers talk about what's up with the Templars mission Champions of the Just and recruit Vivienne, Iron Bull, Blackwall and Vanessa's nemesis Sera. Also: - Bronnie Jandon Is Always Ready For A Kiss - The Merits of Showing Hole - A Pooltergeist - Have You Tried Equipping A Better Weapon? - Half of Earth Is France This Week: Recruit Sera, Vivianne, Blackwall, and Iron Bull plus complete either the Mages or the Templar’s quest (In Hushed Whispers or Champions of the Just) Next Week:  Complete Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 39m
Jan 15
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 1 - Fresh from the Phylactory

Square Roots - Episode 395 You've got to hand it to the Herald: their hand certainly is glowy, and has superpowers too! In this gripping first chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age: Inquisition we close gates to the fade, meet a horse man, stare at chest hair, and leave the hinterlands as soon as Solas tells us to, because we wouldn't want to disappoint Vanessa's dream elf. Also: - Carol Vorderman's Math Skills - A Naturalist, Not a Naturist - How Many Games Make Your Mom Turn Into A Frankenstein? - Vanessa Makes A Terrible Declaration - A Freudian Digression This Week: We watch an old lady get punched in the face in Val Royeaux Next Week:  Recruit Sera, Vivianne, Blackwall, and Iron Bull plus complete either the Mages or the Templar’s quest (In Hushed Whispers or Champions of the Just) Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 19m
Jan 08
Final Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes

Final Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes Square Roots - Episode 394 Don't you just love having legs? You can waggle them, you can crisscrossapplesauce them, they have leg hands! And we use our JRPG legs through all the long walks and long dungeons of this limb-filled Square Roots episode ending our Final Fantasy I season. Just two episodes? You better believe it. Also: - Advent Children Chose The Most Boring Option - Ouroboros Burgertime - His Name Is Tyler - Magical Canoe of Destiny - Special Apologies to Appalachia This Week: We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Next Week:  Dragon Age Inquisition - End of Val Royeaux  Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 48m
Jan 01
Square Rooots Versus (An?) 8-Bit Christmas

Hello friends! It's The Holiday Wintertime Goodtime Week so we are off carousing, carolling, controlling and blu cantrelling, and not podcasting.  But that doesn't mean you can't have this fresh piece of Square Roots fruitcake from our archive! We watch the NPH 80s retro feature and give you our HOTTEST takes. Enjoy! This Week: We watch a movie! About video games! Next Week:  We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 3m
Dec 25, 2023
Final Fantasy I Part 1 - I Would Never Use THAC0 In Public

Square Roots - Episode 393 Oh wow! This is the oldest RPG we've done for a season! But none of us were ready for the adorable sprites and price-gouging magic dealers of Final Fantasy I! Also: - The Brown Crystal - Paul Giamatti Kisses a Woman - Super Into Creed - The Manana Origins - Margot Robbie Could Go Into Anyone's House - The Opposite of Downtown Brown - A Walken Shower This Week: We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I! Next Week:  We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 50m
Dec 18, 2023
Final Fantasy IV Part 5 - The Moon is For Boys

Square Roots - Episode 392 Even after his Retron5 deleted all his saves, Johnny and the rest of Square Roots Podcast really do finish Final Fantasy IV! There's some kind of whale on the moon, and some crystals I guess, and then the game decides to beat the last boss for you which was a bit of a shock. Also: - Zeromus, Zero Fuss - Vanessa Leisure - I Have Another Recipeh - Am I The Asshole For Watching This? - Sing the Song In Your Heart - Do Prayers Rhyme? - Do airships go up? - Sqwale? This Week: We finish Final Fantasy IV! Next Week:  We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 25m
Dec 11, 2023
Final Fantasy IV Part 4 - Everyone Loves a Penultimate Episode

Square Roots - Episode 391 Sadly Jim is missing on this party killing episode of Square Roots! So Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew finally get to visit a matriarchy, experience Rubicante's Sexy Leg Peek, and swap a few airships. Also: - Taskmaster VR - Scott Pilgrim Starring Mae West - Final Fantasy's Least Successful Party? - Bloodthirsty for Party Members - He Can Use Two Swords at the Same Time! This Week: We defeat the Demon Wall! Next Week:  We finish Final Fantasy IV! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 22m
Dec 04, 2023
Final Fantasy IV Part 3 - Let Baigans Be Baigans

Square Roots - Episode 390 Much to Jim's delight things take a tragic turn in this dramatic chunker of Final Fantasy IV! There's self-sacrifice, double bump amnesia, betrayals, de-trayals, and even a fantastic journey to the center of the earth! Also: - Women Love Men Who Jump - Lussy - The Under a Dark Influence Defense - Long Flowing Jareth Hair - A Water Plane - The Watermelon Cagnazzo This Week: We meet the Dwarves in the underworld! Next Week:  We defeat the Demon Wall! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 17m
Nov 27, 2023
Would You Eat This Bird 2023

Happy American Thanksgiving! Or, if you live elsewhere, the second to last week of November! In celebration of this holiday, and due to all of us travelling this week, please enjoy Johnny asks Matthew, Jim, Vanessa and Doctor Steven Stone: Would You Eat This Bird? Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

52m
Nov 20, 2023
Final Fantasy IV Part 2 - The Pasta Elemental

Square Roots - Episode 389 On this second chunker of Final Fantasy IV, Cecil drops the dark sword for something a little lamer. And the Square Roots crew, minus Vanessa who is spiralling into the air due to a malady, delights in the change and in the introduction of Milon / Scarmiglione. Oh, and there's the adorable twins Palom and Porum!  Also: - Congrats Gen-Z For "Mid" - Chuck E Cheese, Child Casino - I Got Zucked! - The Office of Relief - Karate Man This Week: Cecil does his class change! Next Week:  We meet the Dwarves in the underworld! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 49m
Nov 13, 2023
Final Fantasy IV Part 1 - All Nut November

Square Roots - Episode 388 Anything could happen on Halloween! Silent Hill could turn into a show. We could all start playing Final Fantasy, the fourth just so you know. Number Five has its butts! Number six destroys the world! But on Halloween, your BLOOD begins to CURL. Something spooky's going on! Also: - Is This The First Good Final Fantasy?! - That's Why They Call It Default! - Is That A Tampon Joke? - Tellah Says the Line! - Vanessa's on-location research! This Week: We retrieve the sand crystal in Final Fantasy IV! Next Week:  Cecil does his class change! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

1h 35m
Nov 06, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 9 - He Died Doing What He Loved

Square Roots - Episode 387 We did it! We finished Fallout: New Vegas! Matthew fades in and out of consciousness throughout this epic journey, but in this chunker we play through the DLC "Lonesome Road" as well as finishing the main campaign! There's radio negging, stopping (or helping) an assassination, nuclear whoopsies, and maybe even a robot throwing someone off of a tower! Also: - Grandma Dry Eyes - Vault Suit Barbie - Wizards of the Coast's Basement - A Thoughtful Discussion of Patriotism (Derogatory) - Robots Can't Feel Pain - You're Just A Bunch of Meat and Goop!  This Week: We finish Fallout: New Vegas! Next Week:  We retrieve the sand crystal in Final Fantasy IV! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 25m
Oct 30, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 8 - Wing House Versus Wings Etcetera

Square Roots - Episode 386 It's time for the silly, Portal Inspired companion piece of DLC, Old World Blues, on this chunker of Fallout: New Vegas. Sure, we meet some robots terrified of our disgusting erect hand penises and Johnny kills more dogs, but that's just how Fallout is. Also: - Turn Them Off From Behind - Juu'ls Van in Alaska - Accidental Sondheim - Switch or Phone! - Is Horny an Emotion? This Week: We Finish Old World Blues! Next Week:  We finish Fallout: New Vegas! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 32m
Oct 23, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 7 - Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!

Square Roots - Episode 385 Finally wrapping up Dead Money we tackle the most important quest in Fallout: New Vegas: becoming Best Friends with Best Friend Tabitha! Or not, depending on how things play out for you. Also: RAUL! Also: - Anti-Circumcision Pokemon Stickers - A Human Head Shaped Lamp - Taskmaster Heckling - Playing Persona on Stage - Vanessa's Fly Updates - Dean: Alive or Undead - I'm Going to Kill Father Elijah - Matthew's Jojo Siwa Defense Squad - Jim Cheats Death This Week: Finish Dead Money, Meet Best Friend Tabitha Next Week:  We Finish Old World Blues and The Lonesome Road Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 41m
Oct 16, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 6 - Fat Bear Weak

Square Roots - Episode 384 We put off meeting Best Friend Tabitha for another week and instead learn all about the casino of the Sierra Madre, where a real Andrew Ryan takes us through the BioShockiest chunker of Fallout yet. Oh yeah, and Johnny gets a whole lot of people killed by the Brotherhood of Steel because he failed some speech checks. Also: - Why Wouldn't Dommy Mommy Want to Look Like a Dinosaur? - Jim Makes a Lateral Move - Doctor Edward Crane - Terminal Betrayal - Is BioShock a First Person Shooter This Week: We finish up with the Brotherhood of Steel finally as well as reaching the Casino in Dead Money. Next Week:  Finish Dead Money, Meet Best Friend Tabitha Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 44m
Oct 09, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 5 - Liza with a P

Square Roots - Episode 383 Okay, we didn't hit our goal for this chunker again - we'll save dealing with the Brotherhood until next time. But this time on Square Roots we explore different methods of dealing with the Boomers and the Great Khans and continually tease how great Vault 34 is without actually getting there. Also: - Vanessa Describes the Best Scene from Retribution - Matthew's Origin Story - You're Legally Allowed to Kiss Them Whenever You Want - 2 Jacks at the Same Time - The Scrap Bringer - Updating Vanessa's New Vegas Sex Count - A Selection of the B-29's Greatest Hits This Week: We deal with the Boomers and The Great Kahns. WARNING: The end of these quests can trigger the point of no return for your endgame faction. If you’re not sure which way you want to go yet do not report to House, Yes Man, Caesar, or NCR. Next Week:  We finish up with the Brotherhood of Steel finally as well as reaching the Casino in Dead Money. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 7m
Oct 02, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 4 - Google, Where is Ouch Ditch?

Square Roots - Episode 382 Hey, jazz cats. It's time to meet some ring-a-ding broads and bears for a swinging time on the strip! We explore the White Glove Society's very secret secret that you'll never guess, the Rat Pack era Chaimen at the Tops, and Vegas's naughtiest casino, the Gamorrean Guards. You'll note we didn't end up making friends with the Boomers, so there are no Boomer jokes this episode. Also: - Johnny'z Orbeez Tangent - More Sexy Options - The Homestuck Gem - Becoming the Queen of Vegas - Canada's Dave Foley This Week: We enter the New Vegas Strip and meet Mr. House, and confront Benny at the Tops. Recommended quests: Bye Bye Love and How Little We Know at Gomorrah, Beyond the Beef at the Ultra Lux. Next Week:  We deal with the BrotherHood of Steel and The Great Kahns. WARNING: The end of these quests can trigger the point of no return for your endgame faction. If you’re not sure which way you want to go yet do not report to House, Yes Man, Caesar, or NCR. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 29m
Sep 25, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 3 - A Lady Never Fists and Tells

Square Roots - Episode 381 Okay, let's get this out of the way first: in this chunker Johnny mixes up Doc Mitchell and Doc Bailey. One is voiced by Michael Hogan and is the doctor in Good Springs, who came from a vault, and the other is the doctor from Vault 22. Michael Hogan played Commander Bailey in Mass Effect, so it's a simple mistake anyone could make. Right? RIGHT?!? Also in this chunker we figure out the best way to get inside New Vegas.  Also: - Matthew Hates The King - Everyone Lies to Keely - Eating at the Y - Game Scom This Week: We go to Boulder City then onto Freeside and complete G.I. Blues for The King, plus other quests on the Vegas Outskirts. Recommended: You Can Depend on Me (Crimson Caravan), Wang Dang Atomic Tango (Atomic Wrangler), There Stands the Grass (Camp McCarran). Next Week:  We enter the New Vegas Strip and meet Mr. House, confront Benny in the Tops, and secure the cooperation of the Boomers. Recommended quests: Bye Bye Love and How Little We Know at Gomorrah, Beyond the Beef at the Ultra Lux. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 16m
Sep 18, 2023
Fallout: New Vegas Part 2 - Five Ways To Be Brought Into A Sci-Fi Story

Square Roots - Episode 380   On this chunker of Fallout: New Vegas, the Square Roots gang get a fourth member in the posse, and triple the number of Vanessas possible. We also meet Caesar's Legion and may or may not end up on bad terms with them, get spooked by a dinosaur, make friends with some ghouls and nightkin and turn on the power!   Also: __ __ This Week: We reach NoVac and do the associated quests (One For My Baby, Come Fly With Me, That Lucky Old Sun) Next Week:  We go to Boulder City then onto Freeside and complete G.I. Blues for The King, plus other quests on the Vegas Outskirts. Recommended: You Can Depend on Me (Crimson Caravan), Wang Dang Atomic Tango (Atomic Wrangler), There Stands the Grass (Camp McCarran).   Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven   Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

2h 27m
Sep 11, 2023