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Hobbit and Thandi pitch ideas for Movie/TV reboots, remakes, reimaginings, sequels, sidequels, and adaptations. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe

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100 episodes

Mad Max: Kronk's New Dystopia

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 97 - Mad Max: Kronk's New Dystopia Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi strap in for a diesel-fueled ride through remakes and remixed of Mad Max! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Forever Believe" "Bustin Loose" and "Hi Fi Brutality" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries TRANSCRIPT: HOBBIT: [00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello Geeks. Welcome to another episode of smack my pitch up, the podcast that reboots remakes, reimagines sequels side-quels and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television and what have you. And we've got a banger here on this episode for sure, and with me to discuss the remakes and reimaginings, my co-host Thandi. Good day. I thought about doing like an accent, I think, for the betterment of everyone involved. I'm not gonna try to do that. I've never been able to nail either the British or the Australian accent cause they bleeding to each other. THANDI: Yeah. You know, what's fun about doing an accent? For me specifically I'll lose it. I'll lose it almost immediately, and it will turn into whatever it'll turn into like something racist by the end of whatever impression I'm doing, HOBBIT: It could be the whitest act. I can do like a Russian accent very poorly, where you're almost offended. I don't think I have Russian background, but like I'm white enough where it's like, no, he can he's allowed to do Russian accent. No. [00:01:00] It's almost offensive. So THANDI: You don't wanna get smacked by Putin. Nobody wants to get smacked by Putin. So HOBBIT: get clobbered by his giant horse. Yeah. Let's avoid that if possible. THANDI: eat you with my pick. Yeah. HOBBIT: So today we are talking about, Cult Classic for sure. A movie that has spawned to multiple sequels as well as a remake that's not really a remake, so much as a kinda re, re-engagement, a re-envisioning of yeah. THANDI: Yeah it's like, old Mad Max is, what do they call the Star Wars stuff that was made before the reboot, HOBBIT: Oh, those are, THANDI: The Star Wars legends or whatever, all the novels and stuff. Yeah. Old Mad Max is Mad Max Legends and . This is like, you know, the new kids. This is, even though it's the same character, it's HOBBIT: And what we are talking about is Mad Max the first Mad Max movie and the universe in general. I, guess, But the thing that's interesting about that though is starting with Fury Road, if they are going with Tom Hardy as, max from now on, if they're [00:02:00] restarting this universe it is interesting where they're starting as far as the distance away from Doomsday. Like every Mad Max movie gets a little bit further away from the fall of society. THANDI: Yeah, little. Road is like hundreds of years after, like Max is a Highlander or something HOBBIT: Right. THANDI: by the time of HOBBIT: And the the original director, he said that Max is really more there to be Way into a slice of life of that world at that time, you know, that Max does assist with stuff happening. But for the most part it's, we're just following him around on his adventures to see where the world is at this point in the decay. And it was interesting to revisit Mad Max after it's been years. I haven't seen it since Fury Road came out, I think. THANDI: I'd only ever seen it on tv. After watching this, I realized I'd only ever seen it as a TV edit. and it's a whole different experience. This is some good [00:03:00] schlock. I was actually surprised. It's really HOBBIT: holds up well and you try to explain what happens and there's three important things that happen and that's it in like 90 minutes, but it's engaging the whole time. There's never a point where I felt bored watching this, movie. THANDI: It's interesting. It's not too long, although I did feel like it dragged a little bit somewhere in the middle. It's not too long. It has some really intriguing aesthetic choices. The score is late fifties, early sixties style the orchestration, which is interesting. There's some interesting camera stuff going on. It's very surprising that this is uh, George Miller's first major movie. HOBBIT: And I feel like the acting is not top-notch, but it does feel natural enough that it's even the bad actors are not that cringey. It doesn't come off poorly, I THANDI: I like some like, goose. I thought Goose HOBBIT: Goose is great. THANDI: Max is actually a little bit too young. That was, my complaint. Mel Gibson is a little bit young for the HOBBIT: I was mindful and made sure that I didn't go too old with Max [00:04:00] with my casting, but I did. Yeah. He is so much younger than everybody else really in the film. He looks like a baby and maybe it's just cuz we know Mel Gibson to be this like old racist dude. And this is like young racist dude, but. THANDI: This is even before big hair, incredible wings. Mel Gibson. This is, A whole different HOBBIT: was looking at actors in their like early twenties, and I just, I couldn't I just, the concept of them driving a car, I'm like, you're not old enough to drive a car. You can't, THANDI: You got the cutest little baby face HOBBIT: is something that I really like about Mad Max, is that there is a portrayal of a revenge film, very Western. It's completely, if you take all the beats of this movie and remove the cars and put in horses it's, and it's not the apocalypse, it's just the old West. This is a fucking Western movie. But it doesn't try to overdo the chase scenes. The chase scenes are pretty straight up. Like they're on straightaways. They're not doing all these crazy twists and turns. And max isn't this big buff fucker, he's this normal [00:05:00] sized person that he fights a little, but mostly it's just him running people over with his car. That's the majority of his skillset is just THANDI: Killing people with this HOBBIT: yeah, it's, so what I liked about that is , I didn't need to cast some like action hero type necessarily for the role of. THANDI: This was pre that type anyway. They were on the, just the cusp of having leads take over in that fashion. But this is what, it's like 79, HOBBIT: believe in late seventies. Yeah. THANDI: Yeah. So this is right before they start putting Adonis Godman as the other action leads. HOBBIT: What a weird time. Yeah, it was the eighties pretty much all the way through until right at the end of the 80. when you had the, like Bruce Willis's and the Joe Everyman that came in and picked that back up again, but there was this like 10 year block that was just big old machismo men that ruled the world. THANDI: Yep. And then after that it was, they were all Brad Pitt types wiry, mu wiry dudes that I still resent HOBBIT: of course. Oh man, there was a weird time in [00:06:00] my high school years that scrawny hairless men was the in vogue. , and that's literally the opposite of me. if you THANDI: Damn you, Moby moby HOBBIT: right. It was all the lanky, fucking scrawny dudes that everybody was losing their shit over had no armpit hair, nothing. Here I am looking like a fucking lumberjack, a short little, wide lumberjack. THANDI: Yes, and both you and the scrawny, lanky dude are both looking at Mel Gibson going, HOBBIT: Yeah. Pretty much. Now how the tides have turned that bearded men is now in vogue and yay. THANDI: We rule the day until HOBBIT: until we go to bed at a very reasonable hour. Okay. So Mad Max, there's a lot of room to work here. I'm interested to see if either of us, decided to stick to the timeline of the post apocalypse or the dystopian world. Of the original Mad Max or took it a little bit further into the post apocalypse. Also, is this an apocalypse movie? Is this done differently? [00:07:00] I'm really interested. You have the wild one always excites me cuz you will go out there this might be in space, I don't know. So I'm. THANDI: No, the take this time is gonna be something where you're like, what? What are you doing? You know, last time you were like, wow, that is really cool. The time before you, that is fun. This one's gonna be like, yeah, HOBBIT: Why Great. Mine, I feel, is a pretty straight ahead version here that I think you're gonna understand why I made the choices that I did. This is the straight up remake, reimagining what have you. I decided that the real difference here is that I didn't want to try to capture that like Aussie. Dystopian vibe. I wanted to look at what Man Max would be if it was an American director, directing American actors with an American aesthetic, but not necessarily the fast and the furious kind of aesthetic. Definitely balls to the wall a little bit. That's just, that's definitely America, but more that, action kind of [00:08:00] comedy, the die hards of it, the fun action vibe a little. With just a touch of demented to get, let it go down smoother. And I decided that Brian Taylor would be my director for that kind of journey. If you're unfamiliar. He is one of the directors of Crank one and two. He directed gamer Ghost writer Spirit of Vengeance. More recently he did the movie Mom and Dad with Nicholas Cage, which is an absolute fucking blast If you haven't seen. THANDI: I have not HOBBIT: It's like an infection movie where all the parents are infected and get like homicidal and wanna murder their own children. That's what the virus does. Yeah. Basically. So it's just all these parents being like, come here honey. Stab stab. And there was a series on sci-fi that he that helps create and also directed called Happy. That was a tour de force of demented weird fantasy the main character. Chris Maloney. He has an imaginary friend that's like a flying unicorn that's voiced by Pat [00:09:00] Oswalt. It's a weird show, but definitely steeped in gross, weird demented comedy. And so that's energy that I wanted to bring to this is just a little over the top, a little bonkers but still that intensity you want from an action. And so I, for Max, that was a tough choice for me. I wanted to do a not action hero kind of person, but somebody that could get unhinged , if they really got to that point they would break bad when it got to that. And from his portrayal in mayhem this horror movie, I thought Stephen Yune would be an interesting choice for. THANDI: Oh, nice. I almost cast him in a different role, yeah. Steven. Deserves a breakout role in like a young person's breakout role like that. I know he's going for serious stuff, but HOBBIT: He's definitely proven himself to be a tremendous actor. But I've also been playing this dude that gets basically infected and becomes like a raw [00:10:00] nerve of aggression in mayhem. He, it's a very fun ride that he takes you on and he's gets to play it super big and you can tell he is having a fun time with it. And so I want to be able to have that spectrum from the actor playing Max is somebody that can go subtle and quiet cuz Mel Gibson is quiet in the first man Max. He doesn't say a lot at all. So I want that to just go up to 11 when he's on his revenge. That he's what? Just freaking out and going Bonkers. So, Steven Yeun. I think it would be fun in that role for Jesse, his partner, his wife, his, the mother of his child. I wanted an actress that could play like she's got her own shit together. She's not like the damsel and distress type, but is also very funny and can play at these big action sequences and be the comic relief of the moment in some of the most like, darkest moments of this. And I just saw her recently in a really bad movie called Shotgun Wedding. The movie's fucking awful. It's the Jennifer Lopez vehicle that came out on Prime, and it's stupid. I [00:11:00] hate THANDI: Yeah, Sandra started watching that the other day, and I don't HOBBIT: Yeah, it's really bad. But Darcy Carden is in it and I love her. She was in the Good place as Janet. She plays Natalie in Barry and she was also in shotgun wedding, but she's a comedic actress. She's been around and she's been in tons of. Very funny. There's something about her that's so, so just like hits me the right way. Very funny actress and has the, I'm one step ahead of you, kind of energy with her humor as well. She knows what you're gonna say and she's got five clips ready to go already. So I thought they would be a fun matchup. Jim Goose. Goose. I wanted somebody that would be like the kind of wide open, wants to be a ladies man, just fun, weird, sidekick character and a little older as well. Christopher Maloney, he's already worked with the director. I think he would've a lot of fun just being like the zany, the, sidekick, or not sidekick, but coworker, THANDI: oh, definitely. And Maloney's. HOBBIT: Maloney is a fucking trip. He is such a [00:12:00] trip. Initially I had cast him as Fifi, the basic, their boss, basically. Cuz I thought Maloney would have a lot of fun just walking around shirtless, smoking a cigar and yelling at people. And he would, but I think his energies would be better spent as Jim Goose. For Fifi, I decided that role, I wanted somebody built like the. He looked like a Russian weightlifter that lifted the triangular weights only the their boss, Fifi. So I needed a buff guy that was gonna be able to have fun in this role as this really happy, big energy person. So Terry Cruz immediately jumped out as a good choice there. He THANDI: course. HOBBIT: just really friendly, nice boss that people actually like, but also don't fuck with him. I could, Terry Cruz works perfectly for that. THANDI: Yeah. No, Terry Cruz is great as the big HOBBIT: Yeah, that's, his whole career is pretty much playing that role for the most part except for Brooklyn nine nine. He doesn't play the big guy, quote unquote necessarily in that role. THANDI: He plays this sweet, cool-headed guy who [00:13:00] loves his family. HOBBIT: I feel like Terry Cruz would be a great person to spend time with, not even get a drink with, but like, Just your friend from years ago that you go to like the park with your kids together kind of energy. He, this is a sweetheart THANDI: Who keeps trying to get you to go to the gym with him and you're like, oh HOBBIT: suit? Yep. 100%. Oh, your CrossFit friend. That's Terry Cruz. Oh no. I, for the use of bad guys now that we're going with and I wanted to cast a kind of quiet intensity for Bubba Zt. And so I went with Tommy Flanagan, if you're unfamiliar he's the Irish actor with a giant gash scar in his face that was in Sons of Anarchy. He was in Sin City. He's been in Braveheart and Gladiator. THANDI: I believe I know who you're talking about, HOBBIT: very well known as a, always the grizzled, tough guy and uh, toe cutter. Unhinged, boss of the biker gang. We gotta get Nicholas Cage in there at some point.[00:14:00] He's had a couple movies with Brian Taylor. He had Ghost Rider and also mom and dad, so they know how to work together. Nicholas Cage could definitely have room to do whatever Nicholas Cage wants with this role. THANDI: I'm kinda surprised that Nick Cage didn't come to mind for me for what I was, what I'm doing. That's, yeah, cuz he is a great choice for that. HOBBIT: I think just giving him moments to do whatever would really make this movie. And then finally, Johnny the Boy, the drugged out fucking weirdo guy that gets in trouble and gets arrested and then gets released is the little brother character to the biker gang that always fucks up and they're always really annoyed with him. Pete Davidson. For Johnny The Boy. Yeah, that's perfect. But with this casting and Brian Taylor in this demented action comedy kind of vibe, the world that I'm setting up in the States is that basically resources are dwindled dramatically. and the coasts are really where most everybody lives because you can get to stuff easier that way through the ocean and railway systems and stuff. The [00:15:00] middle of America is basically ghosted. A lot of the crops have died at this point. resources are dwindling dramatically cuz of global warming or whatever you, whatever. It's not necessary to explain, but there's just barren wastes of just flat, dusty dust bowl . And so really the only people that exist in this area have cars, have souped up rods and cars that have extra gas tanks attached to them, randomly and basically Mad Max vehicles that they have to build out to make these long hauls in between small towns that are still existing in the Midwest. And because that also, there's not enough police force to cover these great expanses and so there's the highway patrol basically that has these. That they can get from town to town on like less gas, but still like gun it. You know, they have little bit better technology but they can only get around so much. So they're constantly on the tail of all these highway gangs. They are constantly trying to make sure all the small towns are okay, but the small towns, [00:16:00] they have their sheriffs and their people in charge, but they can only do so much when a gang of like 30 or 40 bikers comes into town. So, they've been after this gang for a while. They've been trying to prevent them from stealing the resources from the towns in their sector. And so that's how they come to know Max from him just being the best cop in their region, trying to protect these towns. So Max is there basically out of his ability to drive really well, but also he gets better resources by being friendly with all these towns that have resources. And they thank him by giving him water and gas and clothes and stuff for his car. As a bribe basically, hey, pay more attention to us than the other towns. And so when the bikers start cutting into his cut by. By stealing resources from these towns and you know, him not getting there in time, then that's what's really pissing him off. You know, that's what's really motivating him [00:17:00] is like, Hey, you're cutting into my stuff here. So it's less about the world fully falling apart. The cities are still, industrialized and still working and functioning. Though poorly, a little bit dystopian, but the middle America looks like the post apocalypse just because everybody's escaped. Pretty much everybody's gone to the coasts. There's nothing really left in middle America anymore for anybody. the crops have died, like the resources have dwindled, THANDI: Yeah. Yeah. And taking it to America is probably a better move anyway, like maybe not explicitly so. But I feel like there's enough regional culture in the Mad Max movies that doing something that you're a little bit more familiar with might be a better. HOBBIT: And it being set in Australia was because that's, George Miller lived , like, so it doesn't have to be Australia necessarily. There's nothing Australia centric [00:18:00] about this story really. THANDI: Except for all the the Fosters billboards in the HOBBIT: Right. Australian for post apocalypse. So yeah that's my take. Middle America centered mad Max movie with. Yuck. Yucks and action. And explosions and craziness. THANDI: I'd watch it. And it's . It's about time to bring back the the aesthetic. Like of course we had Fury Road as George Miller's modern vision of that, but A world of post-apocalyptic leather daddies that populated that Mad Max era . It's time to bring that back. I'd love to HOBBIT: And I, there's only so much further you can go in the post-apocalyptic world of Mad Max after Fury Road, because then it's just dust. There's nothing there's barely anything left in Fury Road. Resetting it and bringing it back to where there's ghost towns, they're driving through these ghost towns and there's small populations of people and there's still some level of government, working, giving resources. [00:19:00] Highway patrolman, basically. And, the best way I can explain it is it's when shit's done, there's no going back. The society is collapsing as they speak. Everybody knows it, everybody's aware of it. Everybody knows they got maybe 10 years tops before even the police are gone. That it's that level, but nobody's willing to admit it. It's like when in 2008 when I worked at Blockbuster, everybody knew that Blockbuster was going under, every couple of months another store would go out of business. But we all just pretended that somehow there'd be like a turn that we'd be fine at some point and we just of went about our business until, you know, the store went under. THANDI: Red box is bs. Nobody's gonna use a HOBBIT: We just gotta THANDI: box. Netflix, HOBBIT: in there just a little bit longer until this fad blows over. So that's this world of Mad Max is people out of not having other options, barely hanging on, hoping that something changes THANDI: Yeah, not knowing that the world is going to descend to the place where the only three assets left [00:20:00] are bullets, gasoline and titty milk. HOBBIT: That sounds like a good weekend right there, THANDI: maybe HOBBIT: Yeah. Yeah. THANDI: Ah, I did something interesting with my take, I guess, So my take is basically based on me diving down a rabbit hole, mad Max influenced a bunch of like 1980s anime, like just Mel Gibson in general influenced a bunch of 1980s anime, but basically it influenced it so much that like anime style, mad Max has already been. Many times over. So going down that rabbit hole, I was like we're doing a big budget movie for an American audience. What's big budget? American animation. There's Disney and there's Dreamworks. So basically my Mad Max is an animated movie from Dreamworks, HOBBIT: Okay. THANDI: Cars via Dreamworks. [00:21:00] And it's It's basically a bunch of chases that climax in the big race for it all or whatever kids movie. No, I take that back. All a family movie, so everybody gets to be HOBBIT: So there's some winks to murdering a wife and child and stuff, but not like overtly to. THANDI: It's, yeah. There'll be violence, but it's like violence that you never see. Like people can die in a cartoon movie. You just can't see the body hit the floor. So, my Mad Max Dreamworks movie takes place in Arizona. Max Rocke Tansky is the best pursuit cop on this stretch of of highway in, in Arizona. And he is got a big head about it and it's about him finding his way to appreciate the love of friends and family and working as a team, you know, kid movie stuff. But for everybody. Max Roski, Chris Pratt. Why Chris Pratt? Because Chris Pratt is the universal voice actor for everything right [00:22:00] now. So my Max Roski is Chris Pratt. He will not be doing a gruff anything. He'll just be doing Chris Pratt like he does anyway, except when he is playing when he did that movie for Amazon. HOBBIT: Oh, the tomorrow war. THANDI: goose. Yeah, my goose. I just needed a side kick. Character. Who's the best sidekick in the history of man and who's also like a really interesting voice. John C. Reilly HOBBIT: I knew you were gonna say John C. Reilly. knew it when you said sidekick. Yeah. THANDI: Yeah he's the sidekick John C. Reilly in, in this take goose still dies, but you don't see him burned to to. Where Max is like, what HOBBIT: Where Max does the Ooh THANDI: goosey HOBBIT: face as he pulls the sheet up, THANDI: Oh, it's so early days for his acting. It's fine. It's fine. Jesse Roski, the wife is still his wife in this movie, but she's also on the highway patrol. She's part of the [00:23:00] action. Their conflict comes into the fact that he wants to be a lone wolf and she wants to teach him how to work better with the team. Kristen Bell is Jesse Ros HOBBIT: Okay. I see it THANDI: cuz she could be sweet and convincing HOBBIT: a little agro when need be. THANDI: Yeah. Roski Ski is no longer a child. Sprague Rockat. Tansky is a talking. And the actual direct partner of Max Rock Osky, doing the ride alongs and pointing down the suspects and saying, Hey man, cuz it's Kevin Hart. Is Sprague Rock. HOBBIT: Oh, no. Like talk, like I. That's racist. I don't know how it's racist, but it's racist. I think there's no way to portray Kevin Hart playing that character without it coming off kind of racist. THANDI: As Sprague Rock Osky. He can't be like Brian, the dog for Max Rock Atki without [00:24:00] being HOBBIT: You you know how they would play Kevin Hart in that role though. That's the thing. There's only THANDI: Yeah. But that's actually Kevin Hart. That's how Kevin HOBBIT: I'm THANDI: Kevin Hart. That's on him. Me too. That's what makes it great. The tow tremor, so the HOBBIT: The tow trimmer. THANDI: Yeah. The HOBBIT: no. That's brilliant. But God damn it THANDI: is Keefer Sutherland cuz he is got the ultimate like, hard ass, bad guy voice the cold. Wonderful for a kids' movie, perfect villain HOBBIT: If you haven't seen the movie Freeway with uh, Keer Sutherland. He plays like the big bad wolf type character of like a serial killing like dude. And he does this kind of like voice. I can picture that being the perfect touchpoint for him to play this role. Like of the kind of growly. THANDI: Or his take on a solid HOBBIT: Yes. THANDI: cuz he was, he replaced David Hader on that game that people were like, oh, it's not David Hader. Zunti, his his second in [00:25:00] command is, No longer a person. That's a dog too. But that dog can talk. And that talking dog is Patrick Warburton. Is Zanetti in this HOBBIT: So Kronk's new, dystopia uh, okay. THANDI: Yeah, he's the henchman. He's henchman number one. Henchman number two, Kini. The guy who loses his hand. And yeah. That's James Fran. So James Franco is is guy number three, the police captain or whatever of the station house. The boss is Brian Cox HOBBIT: always a good THANDI: and they're all just, yeah, they're all just trying to reign Max in Goose dies, wife lives tow trimmer. Ends by not getting hit by a truck, but by driving off of a cliff Disney style. So he dies. You don't see the death, but characters falling off a cliff is like animated kids movie tradition. Uh, That's how he does HOBBIT: noise as Yeah.[00:26:00] THANDI: and like a, just a sickening splat. Yeah. That is my version of of Mad Max. HOBBIT: choices were made But it does beg the question, like, why aren't there more post-apocalyptic cartoons that really, I feel like cars kind of could be perceived that way. And then there's Wally, and then that's it. Like that's pretty THANDI: You get something like, I don't know I don't know about a post apocalypse, but Treasure Planet or a ladin where the heroes just in dire straits. HOBBIT: Titan ae, I guess would be post-apocalyptic, or at least for Earth. Yeah. It's literally after Earth is what it stands for. Yeah. I don't know, I'd go see it can't be too judgmental on something where like, yeah, day one I'd be there watching it being like, what the fuck? THANDI: I'd be curious enough to look up the reviews, but yeah, HOBBIT: nice . Yeah, THANDI: the audacity, why are you making this movie cause HOBBIT: because money. All right. With you saying Brian Cox as well for your thing, I'm [00:27:00] just thinking a mashup for Mad Max. I would love to see Super Troopers three being in the post apocalypse where they're still working the highway patrol, but in a Mad Max type fashion, would be fucking great cuz Brian Cox, he. The boss in Supert Troopers, so yeah, that would be brilliant. THANDI: So, a couple fun mashups. Mad Max in weird science, like in that scene where Kelly Le Brock brings like the the Road Warrior style mutants to their party. At the end of the movie, she also brings Max, and then she ends up hooking up with Max instead of the nerds. Um, , And Mad Max and Waterworld. Where the the Mariner finally reaches dry land, but the dry land is Australia, and so he's in the jurisdiction of Max Rocke Tansky, now HOBBIT: I I would watch that movie. 100% THANDI: Desert versus Duff Sea, HOBBIT: Mad Max Fury, tsunami. I don't know. Yeah. Mad Max Tsunami. Okay, so we've [00:28:00] got two very different takes on Mad Max. Both of which I think we would probably be murdered online for even suggesting so Perfect. Perfect for us. Um, And now we're doing the trailers, so let me get that. From the director that brought you Crank one, crank two, and Ghost Rider. Spirit of Vengeance is an American take on a cult classic Meet Max. He's mad. Played by Stephen Yon and he'll stop at nothing to take down the toe cutter crew and restore order to the Midwest this summer Max. Loses his wife Jesse, played by Darcey Carden, and him and his buddy Jim Goose, played by Christopher Maloney are wiping the streets red with the blood of their enemies. With the help of Fifi, their boss, played by Terry Cruz. They go up against Tommy Flanagan as Bubba Zanetti, Nicholas Cage as the leader of the toe cutters, toe [00:29:00] cutter, and hijinks ensuing. Burnout. Fuck boy. Pete Davidson. As Johnny the Boy. Are you mad? You will be with this remake Mad Max America Road. THANDI: Oh, I didn't give my director actually. Before we continue my director was Clarence William, or I'm sorry, Chris Williams. Clarence Williams is somebody I went to high school with Chris Williams, who directed Big Hero six and the HOBBIT: man. Both of those are really, I didn't realize it was the same director, big hero of six I love that movie so much. Sea Beast was better than I expected it would be. THANDI: Yeah, I've heard nothing, but I haven't watched it all the way through yet. I started it and I got distracted, but it's on the list because I've heard nothing but good things about it. I heard, I've heard it's HOBBIT: Yeah. With directors for animated films. I that that's a thing. Like you, you think of directors like directing live actors, you know, but I'm sure there's plenty that goes into directing Lincoln animated film, possibly even more than a regular film. There's amazing director like Brad Bird who did the Incredibles movies [00:30:00] and stuff that did Directors of animation, but I never really think about it. THANDI: Yeah. Those guys do some some amazing work and they have to entertain a larger audience than many other directors do. So they have to get their lesson in there, keep the parents occupied, keep the kids occupied. It's a. An interesting juggling job to pull that together. speaking of entertaining an audience we've got your take next for your trailer I hate it. HOBBIT: So let me light it up. You ready to roll? Let's get this car on the road, I guess. THANDI: From Chris Williams in Dreamworks. It's a movie about what happens when you're too good at what you do in a world that's not Chris PR is Mad Max Rocke Tansky the best cop on the Arizona Highway. His wife played by Kristen Bellis, Jesse Rocke Tansky, and she just wants him to make friends. Sprague, his [00:31:00] dog is Kevin Hart. Cutting up and having fun on the highway is a fight keeper. Sutherland's tow trimmer and his boys, Patrick War Burton and James Franco. As they try to win the big race, but are they good enough to win the big race? And does it matter when The most important thing on the road as having the drive to be the best, to take it all on your own, even when it threatens to drive away you from the only race that matters, the race to be the best of friends. Mad Max, the best of friends coming this summer. HOBBIT: Friend Road Um, I, yeah. Fuck it. Yeah, let's make this kid's movie. I, I'm, I, you know what, you changed my mind. I am on board with this yet to get another banger from Tandy in the, in the Wackadoo category. So [00:32:00] Wackadoo. Hell yeah. This was a blast. I am really glad that I got a chance to rewatch Mad Max. It's one of. The road warrior is so good. Like the sequel is so, so good that I sometimes, THANDI: And that's the one that everybody has seen. That's HOBBIT: yeah. And so I forget sometimes that Mad Max is still very good. Like it's a really good starter to this universe that gets created THANDI: Yeah. HOBBIT: and then you throw in Thunderdome and just have a like silly blast. THANDI: And, but none of them have what Mad Max has, which is the Hall of Justice. HOBBIT: I forgot yet. THANDI: They like an old abandoned cement factory. That's the Hall of Justice, and that is awesome in itself. HOBBIT: Not just genre, but he permanently changed the way people did dystopian Futures with this movie. And it was basically because he was in the outback of Australia and he had access to these abandoned buildings and he's like, great. Yeah.  Cool. This is what it is. Like this is the police station and yeah, it's like a cement plant or something. Great. No THANDI: Yeah. No, he's he was inspired and they didn't run over the [00:33:00] kid, which was also inspired. That brought me in more than any other scene in the movie. Were the kids out in HOBBIT: Oh, right, yeah, yeah, THANDI: They're driving. They're driving. I was like, he was, this movie's kind of crazy, but they're not gonna kill this kid. Whew. HOBBIT: pet cemetery. This is not, Pet Cemetery is like, fuck that kid. THANDI: Oh, guess we'll need to add that one to the list too. Actually. That's already been remade. HOBBIT: Yep. Terrible remake, unfortunately, but at least compared to these bangers that we brought on this episode here, think Mad Max needs to go a new direction, with some of our choices here. THANDI: Hit us up. HOBBIT: we're ready and waiting. So speaking, of, waiting, we're waiting for you to follow us on social media, Facebook, Twitter.  Just follow geeks of the influence on Instagram, Twitter, you've got me and Thandi on Twitter. We've gotta smack my pitch up. uh, pitch smacked on Twitter. got Facebook keep track of when episodes are coming out. We'll let you know when there's cool stuff happening. Maybe some live event. And, yeah, it's a great way to get all the pitch smacking that you could ever want. THANDI: [00:34:00] Yeah, All All smacked all day long. Oh it's got a rosy glow HOBBIT: from all the smackings. So on that uh, yeah, re review, subscribe, post on socials, let people know how cool this show is and how bad our choices are. But that's half the fun. Gotta thank Of course. Tandy, thank you so much for joining me on this. THANDI: Thank you, sir. HOBBIT: I'll find you next time. THANDI: I'm Thandi. HOBBIT: and you just got pitch smacked, THANDI: Hey, pitch another smacking shrimp on the Bobby HOBBIT: mate. Good day. Good day. THANDI: Fosters it's pitch for smack. HOBBIT: Jesus.

35m
Mar 06, 2023
Freejack: Orphans of a Nihilistic God

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 96 - Freejack: Orphans of a Nihilistic God Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi enter the spiritual switchboard to remake and remix the 1992 dystopian sci-fi film Freejack starring Emilio Estevez, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, and Mick Jagger Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "The Voyage" "Corporation Motivation" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries   Transcript: [00:00:00] HOBBIT: Hello geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots, remakes, reimagine sequels, sidequels, and adapt some of your favorite and least favorite. And let's face it poorly. Created from the past, THANDI: They're HOBBIT: that definitely the case for this one. That's been the inspiration for this show in the first place was movies like this one that we're gonna talk about today, where the idea is good. It's an interesting concept, but the execution leaves a lot to to be appreciated THANDI: And then they decide to cast Emilio Estevez. Yes. And it ruins the whole project. HOBBIT: Oh man. You know what? Not all the time Repo Man was a perfectly good movie. Perfectly good and weird movie. But besides that, yeah, pretty THANDI: Yeah. Repo Man's fun or repo man. Is it repo? It's repo man, right? HOBBIT: repo Man, repo Men was a movie with Jude Law enforced Whitaker years later. [00:01:00] That was weirdly close to the storyline of repo, the genetic opera. THANDI: What was the one where he and his brother were garbage men together? HOBBIT: Men at Work THANDI: Ah, HOBBIT: where they found a mo, a body the mob had dumped or something, I think was the, THANDI: involved in movies of the era, both literally and on screen. Just the mob was fun at that point. HOBBIT: well, that was when the mob was like, get going on dateline and stuff to be like, yes, I do kill people. Like they were super about being publicly mobsters was the fun, fun time. Yeah. Right. But this movie, this is of that similar era. This is I think 91 or 92 when this movie was made. THANDI: 92 I think, or no, 90. HOBBIT: yeah, 91. Yeah. I think it was made in 91, released in 92 or whereabouts. And it definitely reeks of that early nineties. Sci-fi. There was not a lot coming out at that time that, oh, by the way, my co-host Thandi is here THANDI: Hey, it's Thandi and I'm here and we've been talking. So does it [00:02:00] matter? Who knows? HOBBIT: Who knows? We'll find out. Hopefully you already know who is running this this thing. So yeah, you've got 19 91, 92, you've got only a few sci-fi movies that you even remember from that era you've got, and this like demolition man and hackers and, what else do we got? Like virtuosity is around THANDI: abyss. When did that come? HOBBIT: That was late eighties I wanna say. So that was still not. Of this era. This was kind of a a lull in sci-fi around the time that Fredj Jack came out. There wasn't a whole lot happening. THANDI: few years later, independence Day. What else stands HOBBIT: Independence Day was that was 1999. I THANDI: No. Independence Day was like 95 or 96. I think it's HOBBIT: Was it? You might be. I think you are right. Actually. THANDI: Yeah. HOBBIT: I am. 96. Yeah. Okay. So I guess that's, yeah, that would be where the upswing started happening, I think was post Independence Day. But movies like this the Independence Day was a more than sci-fi, a big budget action comedy extravaganza type of a movie, whereas this was not meant to be that. We're [00:03:00] talking about Freejack. Listeners may not even be familiar with this film if you are interested in checking it out. It was available on basically all the free apps. THANDI: I watched it on HOBBIT: Two. Which one? Tuby? Yeah, it was Tuby, Pluto TV free v I think even Roku channel. It was on. So you shouldn't have too much trouble tracking this down. And it's kind of a shame that this movie doesn't get brought up more in the conversation of, inspiration for other films. Like I feel like this is a predecessor to movies like strange Days, which is also an underappreciated sci-fi movie or Johnny mnemonic. This is definitely like a pre Johnny Mnemonic movie this is, in the path that leads you to Johnny THANDI: Well, leading to the ultimate extension of the idea, which is the matrix, it's like a Pokemon evolution and like the God version is the matrix. HOBBIT: This is, William Gibson Light. This isn't actually based on a William Gibson story. I forget the name of the writer that this was based off of, I think a short story, but it has very much that William [00:04:00] Gibson energy whereas Johnny Monic, I think, is actually an adaptation from William Gibson. But it, it's that dystopian cyberpunk future kind of vibe. But the set dressing is way more streets of fire than it is a Blade Runner THANDI: Yeah. Or the Wiz it's got an interesting look for the kind of sci-fi that it's doing. HOBBIT: also the time jump is fucking wild. In this movie, this is supposed to take place in, it's like 18 years and it goes from 1991, looking like 1991 with race cars and shit to, The world has fallen into the sewer and there's bone snatchers and time travel and tanks going through the street and utter fucking chaos. And Renee Russo is apparently a vampire that just doesn't age. THANDI: That was hilarious. That was hilarious to me. I was like, they didn't even try, they didn't put like a gray streak or anything. HOBBIT: I thought that would've honestly made a more interesting. Conversation if Renee Russo looked like she [00:05:00] had aged 18 years and Emilio Estevez has hadn't, and how much does that affect their relationship? Because it's not just about looks, but it's also she's had 18 years of real hard living with the world basically falling apart. Even though she's doing really well, she's had to probably, Ignore her morals a lot to get to where she was. She's had to beg, borrow, and steal to survive. And she's working for basically an evil omnipresent corporation. How does that translate to Emil? It's been a day for THANDI: Yeah, and just what, 18 years of just general experiences and wisdom. Maybe a bunch of other stuff, maybe trauma, all kinds of stuff different loves. How does that translate? I mean, that's ultimately for that kind of movie, that's not a super important question because that bogs down the action or whatever. But yeah, it's a relevant question of how these people who are now or should be completely different people because of their specific experiences, the world fell apart. How does that make them [00:06:00] different human being? HOBBIT: Renee Russo apparently is the most strong-willed human being to ever. Exist on the planet has not changed. A fucking iota is the same exact person from 1991. In the future of 2009 , this takes place. THANDI: the very least she willed the wrinkles away, so HOBBIT: That's some serious fucking power right there. But I think the bones of this movie are good. It's the idea that that Emilio Vez is a race car driver who gets snatched right before he's in this fantastic and completely unrealistic. That happens where his race car, goes like off a ramp and then crashes into a bridge like in mid-air. It's buck fucking wild. Like they chose the least realistic way to send him out in this movie. THANDI: but it's fine that there's nothing is odd, that there's absolutely no body, no bones, anything. And they're like, eh, this shit happens. I guess HOBBIT: Yeah, I guess he was vaporized or whatever. Yeah, I love that. Brad Carter, the his best friend [00:07:00] basically in this movie played by New York Dolls David Johansen. THANDI: Buster Poindexter, HOBBIT: Buster Poindexter in this movie with the largest mouth in film. I think he's massive fucking mouth. Which makes his laughter like both really unsettling and hilarious whenever he cracks up. But he is bitching to Alex Furlong about how he couldn't get the insurance money because they couldn't find the body, which was fucking fantastic to me. He's like, oh, it's great. You're alive anyway. THANDI: I kind of wish he was in more of the movie. HOBBIT: Seriously, he was such a fun, like he broke up some. Unnecessary seriousness of this movie. It, this movie should have been more fun than it was. This the set dressing. You shouldn't be trying to play this straight at all. And Amelia was trying, but he just he's not that strong an actor. He just isn't. THANDI: he's not that strong a presence either. I think that's the bigger thing for this kind of. he's a little dude, [00:08:00] but he's also got, his energy is not big enough. I don't know if he, if you turn this into more of a a fun movie and had Michael J. Fox as the little dude lead, then that would be a good time. But Emilio Estevez doesn't really carry this very well, and his energy is weird in the way that people interact with him as little kind of Mousey. Emilio Estevez is also just. Like it feels HOBBIT: It is like nobody takes him seriously. He's supposed to be this like action lead in this movie and no, even the side characters are just don't give a fuck about him. Like he is nothing to anybody. Which is an interesting Kind of way to go about a movie like this. I like red Heat, think that the bones of this are good, but there is so much room to expand on this or add more depth or, undertone or more story to this. They, there's not a lot to this. You're able to, I'm assuming you guessed who the big, bad at the end was at the beginning of the movie. THANDI: That's the experience of [00:09:00] movie narrative, that's they don't hide it very well or sell it very well. It's just a thing and you don't even care about it. For most of the movie, it's like, whatever. I, HOBBIT: Yeah. When it's finally revealed, it's like, oh, it's your, it's been your boss all along. She's like, no, it's not. and the crowd was like, no it is. This isn't hard to believe, like this is, it was pretty clearly him the whole time. And the cast on this, Hurt Boss being played by one Anthony Hopkins in this movie. THANDI: He had already done Hannibal Lecht or that movie had silence of the Lambs had already come out. But I think that he may have filmed this before his career blew up immediately after that. So he still had a stinker two to do or to show in there because HOBBIT: Sure. Sure. He is an unbelievable one, one of the greatest actors of our time, but he also will do a stinker or two from time to time. I mean, he's in a Transformers movie, so if that THANDI: mean, the man has houses and cars to pay for too. So, HOBBIT: Yeah, true . So, Mine is set in the past [00:10:00] 1991 is 2000. I'm not doing like a 1991 version of this. Are you sticking around the same timeline? Are THANDI: I am. I HOBBIT: it in the same genre? THANDI: 2020 3, 20 20. HOBBIT: Okay. So you're jumping from 2023 into the distance future of like THANDI: no, I'm not. We'll get into it in the take, but no, I'm not, HOBBIT: So, well, let's get into it. I mean, there's not a lot more to say about this film. It's THANDI: uh, The director Jeff Murphy. Interesting career under Siege Two young guns two, and most interestingly to me, dude was a second unit director on all of the Lord of the Rings movies. HOBBIT: Really? Wow. Okay. THANDI: So he is had a career of not obscurity, not complete obscurity, but I think most everything I saw that was involving him that was listed was pretty mediocre, except being a second unit director on the Lord of the Rings trilogy. HOBBIT: Do you think that while he was shooting Lord of the Rings as second unit, that he was like bragging about his time [00:11:00] working on directing Mick Jagger, on Freejack, like back when I was directing Jagger back on Free Jack Set THANDI: Yeah. And then he follows it with the Steven Segal story. So Segal and I are tossing back some beers, HOBBIT: Ian McConnell was like, I fucked Mc Jagger in 1996. THANDI: Oh let's go listen to Sir Ian's story. That's a much better story. HOBBIT: me and Bowie look, had 'em tied up like a pair of Chinese finger cuffs THANDI: we were in shade of pasty tall men and it was the most beautiful thing that you had ever seen. HOBBIT: It was like the human centipede, but with cum, THANDI: man. Is that appropriate for this show? I think it is cuz I think I've gone there before, but I haven't heard you go there. HOBBIT: Hey, you know what, like this is marked as explicit, so I think we're okay. I think . Yeah. Okay, so yeah let's lay it down. We got formerly by the second unit director of Lord of the Rings, bringing down the original. What are we doing for [00:12:00] your real take on this? THANDI: So for my real take, I'm going with a tried and true modern genre, which is action, not really action comedy, but fun. Action. HOBBIT: Sure. Action Romp THANDI: an action romp something with some high energy maybe a little bit of cynicism or probably a lot of cynicism, but more in keeping with what is popular in the modern time, cuz this is a 2023 movie that takes place in 2023. HOBBIT: Sure. THANDI: So, in my movie I got rid of the time travel altogether I was like, this doesn't work the way it's presented. Really like how, that works. But what does work to take its place that's all over modern culture is multiverse stuff. So he is bone jacked across the multiverse to another 2023 Earth that's similar enough that you're like, oh it is 2023, I guess, but different enough where, it's a completely different place almost immediately upon. HOBBIT: some like more totalitarian like little peppering [00:13:00] in there. Okay. THANDI: So, same race, car accident. Race car crashes, blows up. He's bone jacked to this other reality and escapes in much the same way. But in going around and looking at things, he's like, wow, there's so much that's the same but different. This is not where I'm supposed to be. He runs into a nun who tells him that he's a free jack and lets him know basically the scenario. She does a little exposition dump for him. I wanted to introduce that nun as a bigger part of this property, of this movie so that she's actually directly involved in a lot of of the movement, of the narrative. So I'm gonna introduce that nun as a person, as an actor right now, which is Kat Dennings is my nun in this. Yeah. And so she is the one who is the main secondary character the Robin to the character's Batman as they move through the the narrative. Although he does run into his his girlfriend in this reality, she comes off she [00:14:00] sold to him as a friend as are other people that he knows from his own reality are kind of sold to him as friends. They try to bring him. But it's all part of a scheme to bring him back into the clutches of the person who brought him to this reality in the first place. And that person exists as a, like a head on a screen. And you see him throughout the movie much as Sir Anthony Hopkins was a head on a screen as we go through the movie. But the outcome with that character's a little bit different. So they get adventures trying to escape the powers that be. He's introduced ultimately to Morgan, who was the character that was played by, I think his name is John Shea. John Shea was Lex Luther on Lois and Clark. So that's how I know that actor, like immediately when I see him. Oh, it's Lex Luther from Loon Clark. And John Shea is like the rebellion leader or whatever, or Morgan is the rebellion leader. So, they hook up with Morgan and the nun of the Morgan help him. We reached the same climax where everybody comes together and they try to do the consciousness [00:15:00] transfer. The big bat is revealed. It turns out that the the image of Ian McCandless was not who the character actually was. The real, super powerful, multi-billionaire that's driving this whole scheme. Is Alex Furlong himself, the lead himself. It's his alternate reality version that is dying and needs his body from an alternate reality. HOBBIT: Nice. I like that. THANDI: In the the process of coming together and doing the climax he dies. And Julie, the girlfriend dies as well. But it plays out where they think that he's done the mind transfer, and of course, Victor Vacendak, who was. The character that was played by Mick Jagger helps him with his subterfuge. And because Julie dies and we want kind of a classic turn at the end, the Nun Kat Dennings, who's been helping him through the whole project what he finds out after becoming a multi-billionaire and ruling the world and going onto a new a. Is that in a casual conversation with Victor, he finds out that [00:16:00] nuns in this world don't take a valve chastity, and they do the furtive look and the like, the wink freeze take at the end. No, no action. Just a thing that says, yeah, he's gonna be fighting in this world cuz he's gonna have sex with cat denning, basically end of movie. So that's my version of Freejack starring as Alex Furlong. I have Joe Keery. I feel like Joe Keery has the right energy, and he's also. He's taller. I'm saying this is a short guy too. putting this out there. Just it's more believable for the way that people interact with him for what he's supposed to be. That his screen presence is a little bit better in always. So Joe Keery is my Alex Furlong. HOBBIT: I can see just the scene from the original movie where he gets fucking hammered on one drink in the bar and he is talking to the camera people and he is like, I don't give a fuck. Fuck this dude. I can see Joe Curie having so much fun with THANDI: Like a good HOBBIT: Like something similar to Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. THANDI: For my Victor Vacendak I thought about going with a rockstar, but there [00:17:00] are no more rock stars. I'm not gonna have like Drake play my Victor Vacendak. So, Jason Statham is my Victor Vacendak. Jason Statham has the right British guy energy to be this kind of tough guy. This the. Kind of tough guy. That Victor Vacendak is HOBBIT: a guy that says Roy a lot. Yeah. Yeah. THANDI: Croy. And then but not much else. It's very quiet otherwise. HOBBIT: Occasionally it's just a low guttural growler. THANDI: My Julie Redland, the girlfriend character. I wanted somebody who falls into a trope that is not as prevalent in modern times. Which is the the strong, handsome woman trope. And I couldn't really think of anybody for a while. But Carrie Mulligan is my strong, handsome woman, As Julie Redland, who is not a friend, but a foe. And I think that especially in that aspect, Kerry Mulligan would work really. For Ian McCandless, who's not an actual person in the movie. So Ian McCandless was the Anthony Hopkins ultimate bad guy in the original [00:18:00] movie. In this movie, he's just a face and he's a ai like deep fake. He's a deep fake. He's not actually a person. Kevin Bacon is my Ian McCandless, Lucia the right combination of charm and gravity. I think that yeah, he could do. Without being Anthony Hopkins. He's got his whole different thing going, but with the gravity and the charm. My mark Michelette, who was God, what's that actor's name in the original movie? HOBBIT: Mark. Oh, that's Jonathan Banks. He from breaking Bad. Yep. THANDI: As Mark Michelette, I have Colin Ferrell. Colin Ferrell can portray the right kind of menace. And, he's willing to play all different kinds of characters as he ages, not just the handsome guy. I think he would work out well under these circumstances. He holds the screen. He has the right kind of menace. Yeah, him for my nun, we already introduced Kat Dennings for Morgan, the revolutionary leader who's played by Lois and Clarks. Lex Luther. I have Smallville, Lex Luther, Michael Rosenbaum. I like Michael [00:19:00] Rosenbaum. I don't get to see him in many things, but yeah, I just like the idea of having Lex Luther in there as the same character. HOBBIT: I would say he's turned out to be a really nice podcast host. I've really enjoyed some of the interviews that he's done on his show. Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum THANDI: Nice. I've heard clips, of his podcast, but I I have not listened to the show. I'll have to check it out though, because like I said, I do like Michael Rosenbaum. HOBBIT: He has a very, how do you say, calm kind of energy when he's on the show. There's no rush to him speaking. He is very casual and comfortable on the microphone. And so therefore, the guests really do feel like they're comfortable when they're talking, THANDI: I'll have to put that on the list. I think the only celebrity cast to listen to is Sarah Silverman. So, HOBBIT: Oh, nice. THANDI: it'd be interesting to pick up something new. But and as my final character that I've casted as Brad, who is the Buster Poindexter character, David Johansen Busta Rhymes is my Brad and the version that I have in my mind, Brad lasts a little bit longer. Busta Rhymes gets to do more [00:20:00] stuff. He hasn't acted in years, but he does have acting experience and he's also very an interesting character to see on the screen. HOBBIT: I'd be interested to see if there were any measurements of like mouth size between Buster Poindexter And Buster Rhymes cuz both of them, they both could fit like a softball in their mouth. They both have these massive THANDI: That's probably the one of the reasons that Buster took on that name. So, or Busta took on that name. But for my director, I have Sean Levy, who was the director of Free Guy and Night at the Museum, real Steel. HOBBIT: That's smart. That's a good call. I like that. Somebody that is able to do kind of bigger action sci-fi stuff, but also can play in the comedy range as well. Yeah, exactly. Cool. Yeah, I think that's a a really smart choice for a real take here and. Alternate universe, I mean, timely. So you're really right in that wave of multiverse that's happening everywhere. Literally the best movie of 2020 two for most, for a lot of people was a multiverse movie with everything everywhere, all at once. DC Marvel, all going multiverse. it's, I'm just waiting for the sliders revival to come [00:21:00] through. THANDI: Oh, would love rem HOBBIT: keep waiting probably. Yeah. They redid fucking Quantum Leap, but they can't do sliders. All right. That's fine. That's fine. I'll wait. That's cool. Yeah. Crying man. Oh, love Rembrandt. So, and yeah, and what's his face from Lord of the Rings and IA Jones? THANDI: John Reese HOBBIT: John Reese Davies. Yeah. Oh, man. As a professor. Fantastic. Yeah I think you've got a really solid idea for Freejack that, not that it's a high bar, but I'd say that's a little better than the original THANDI: Yes. Once again, not a high bar. It's not a high bar. HOBBIT: Yeah. I think giving some more of these characters, some agency is not a bad call that like most of these characters are just set dressing in the original movie. There's not a whole lot happening for them. Giving Julie A. Little bit more to do giving Brad Carter or Buster Poindexter's character, a little bit more to do, I think is really smart THANDI: Well, you know, that's indicative of the time generally. Like everything focused on the leads, everybody else is set dressing. And [00:22:00] then in the modern time, you need a team around the start to make interaction more interesting and to actually push narrative over set pieces. So yeah, by and large, the base formula for movies makes for more interesting movies in the modern time. HOBBIT: A, and actually thinking about it around this time, I'm remembering two more movies that they were definitely depending on. Cult to personality for these sci-fi movies because two that came out in 90 and 91 Arnold Schwarzer movies, I believe total recall was 1990 and 91 was the Running Man. And both of those movies would've sucked with like an Emilio estevez level like actor in the role. You needed a bigger than life person to carry. Such a ridiculous, THANDI: have an interesting concept and then loads of set pieces. HOBBIT: yeah. THANDI: like video. They're structured like video games. They don't have relationships or real complexity like that. HOBBIT: So I think, yeah, Emilio was definitely not the best choice for this, but is definitely not the only reason why Freejack work. I think Sean Levy would be a great choice [00:23:00] for Modern Director. I decided to go the opposite direction of you with my remix version of this THANDI: Remix!. HOBBIT: You went with the like, action romp. Role of it, because there isn't a lot to do with the plot from the original. The, it can be dressed up as just like a fun action romp and still have more depth to it than the original did. I went the other way where I looked for almost entirely just depth in this empty husk of a movie plot. So I decided that this is gonna be a conversation about what it is to be, to exist about the conversation of personhood and analog versus digital which is something that we're talking about in media nowadays, and also our presence on the internet versus who we are in real life. And there's a conversation that's happened in The Matrix and a number of other films, but with this, with time travel being the element and transferring a person's like consciousness, it's not gonna be that the physical body was transferred to the future so much. [00:24:00] It's basically almost like a transporter. Built the body in the future and transferred the consciousness into it. But they needed the consciousness basically to like jumpstart the body like with, they couldn't just build the body and then have the the in mechanics character jump into it. It needed to be kind of jumpstarted by the original consciousness first, which, whatever, it's all pseudoscience. Who fucking cares if that's like a real thing or not? So that I think gives it a little bit more. believability, I think is the idea of just taking almost like the DNA from the past to build a, to like transfer a consciousness into the future kind of thing. THANDI: also in keeping with giving it more weight, that already starts off with a very intriguing philosophical question. HOBBIT: And then also that, how did that transfer go? The Alex Furlong character throughout this is having trouble, remembering things, having trouble like knowing what is real and what is suggested by the people like that. He runs into like his old friend, Brad Carter. He can't really remember how, if their relationship was like strained or not in the [00:25:00] past. There's parts of his memory you can remember and there's stuff that's coming back, but he doesn't know how much is coming back or if it ever will. And so he's trying to put this together as the plot is like unfolding and he's not entirely sure if this is real or some kind of fantasy made up in his brain as he's dying. He's. Completely removed from anything that he is familiar to him. So everything is up for question, THANDI: and you also get like a real really strong ship of Theseus discussion under those circumstances. HOBBIT: Right. Yeah, absolutely. Like, yeah. Is it the same person at the end of the day? I thought that was beautifully done in the in the modern version of that in John dies at. Where it was about a hammer that you re, you replaced the head of the hammer and the actual like handle of the hammer. Is it the same hammer that you bought? It's the same ship of Theseus thing, but do that with the human body. Yeah. When, When you reconstruct the consciousness to a degree, is it the same consciousness? It's if it's a different body. At the same time, the plot is the same. You've got the Ian McCann's character, or there's this like [00:26:00] presence that is the puppeteer of this whole thing. And then you've got Alex Furlongs estranged girlfriend, originally played by Renee Russo. I really wanted to have the age conversation more in this version. So, for Alex Furlong, I casted Aronofsky is my THANDI: Oh. HOBBIT: off. Yeah. And his whole thing is about obsession and addiction. And also being the orphans of an nihilistic God is a common theme in his stuff. THANDI: And making movies that say, man did I like that. Yeah, I like that. Did I? Did. I like that. HOBBIT: And because it's so artistic that you're like, feel obligation to like it. if I'm gonna be a movie guy, I have to like it, which is the feelings I had walking outta the whale, which I hated. And I know I saying that I might get shit on for it, but I don't care. Like, I think the performances were incredible. I think that Brendan Frazier deserves all of the accolades that he's getting. I think the movie was exploitative and kinda shitty and didn't serve any [00:27:00] purpose really, in my opinion. But THANDI: I'm sure there's a creative thesis at the bottom of that would make you be like, all right, I get it. I don't like this movie, but I. HOBBIT: yeah I've had conversations about it since, and I get what maybe was trying to be done, but I think that the ends didn't justify the means. For me anyway, with that movie. But that being said, I am a fan of Aronofski. I think that he's done some very challenging and very interesting work pie. It was an incredible film. Black Swan Requiem for a Dream, which was great, and I'll never watch ever again. Same with Mother. The Fountain was an interesting THANDI: not like mother or the fountain. I did not like the fountain. HOBBIT: The Fountain I think, had some very interesting concepts that it, that he took six. To make that movie. I think it was one of those situations that he had too long to develop the story and it ended up working against him. If he had less time to develop it, it was overworked and came off hollow in its delivery. But the themes of conquering death [00:28:00] I think are gonna be echoing in this version of Freejack. Also Aronofsky is known for taking. Actors that are on the end of their popularity and pulling 'em back into focus again. He did that with the wrestler and then he did that also with the whale, with with Brendan Frazier. So for Alex Furlong, Taylor Latner from Twilight is gonna be pulling the the weight of of Alex Furlong in THANDI: would ni be nice to see his return to pop culture. HOBBIT: And also I think, He's done a couple things since Twilight. I don't know how good an actor he can be, cuz I don't think he's ever really been given the chance to stretch those legs fully. So, you've give THANDI: martial arts spy guy movie in an airport theater or coming from the airport at layover. And man, like after watching that, I know why he's not, he dropped out of of usage in Hollywood. But yeah, everybody deserves a chance and it just takes some training. Spend your time in acting school and get your muscle. HOBBIT: Yeah, just, and I mean, he can do the action stuff and he can [00:29:00] come off as like a hothead young, like race car driver type character. I think he that's not too much of a push for him. And he's like 31 or 32. So he's young enough that he can play like a young hothead racer guy. Julie, his girlfriend in the future is gonna be played by Laura Dern. wanted to have an attractive, but definitely older than the main character actress Laura, as you were saying, like a handsome THANDI: Yeah, she was who I thought of actually. Actually as I was trying to think of somebody who was an A, a handsome actress. she's too old for what I was going for, but yeah, she did come to HOBBIT: for what I'm going for. I wanted there to be a clear. Differentiation in age between the two. So Taylor Latner and Laura Dern, it does seem a little bit mismatched with their ages when you were to say put 'em together on screen. But I want that's what I'm going for, is that time is not just showing on their face, but also in their experiences that, Laura Dern has had to get harder as a person has had to go through a lot of shit and like remove the [00:30:00] part of herself that probably was mostly. Alex fell in love with in the first place. Her softness, her warmness her her optimism of the world. So like how much of that is left and if there's not much of that left, then is he just in love with the idea of the person or still the person? And that goes into the conversation about our consciousness, who we are. Are we like the layers of our skin? That every like seven years, it's an entirely. Set of skin on our bodies like the ship Theseus. If we are totally a different person than we were 10 years ago, 20 years ago, is it a ship theseus thing with our consciousness? Are we still the same person or are we actually a different person? And so that's the conversation that I'm putting into free Jack. It's like this evolution of consciousness, and Alex is going through it with him being basically scanned into a cloned body. Julie's going through it through the passage of time. And Ian McCandless, the main character, Anthony Hopkins, is [00:31:00] actually in what they called what do they call it? The spiritual switchboard. But he hasn't been there for three days. He's been there for literally years and it's been hush hush within his corporation and his handler. Mark Michelette has been basically speaking for him. He has been a ghost in the machine, the whole time. And so the, he has this feeling of omnipotence, a narcissistic God that has removed himself from morality by being part of this machine for so long. But the one thing that he doesn't have is companionship. And he does want that from Julie who he has had interactions with, virtually. And so that's why he needs the body is just the one thing that he can't get from being omnipresent on the net. The digital version of himself is like physical love, and so that's why he goes for Alex Furlong and he, but he needs that consciousness in there briefly. The argument at the end of it is whether or not Alex is the same person, if Ian is the same person, if it's a combination of the two, [00:32:00] because at the end of Freejack. They have basically a mind fight, which is like the dumbest shit in the world that like, is so poorly portrayed on screen. There's like screens that are flipping, like THANDI: the screensaver from windows xb or Windows 95 HOBBIT: like it's a prison thing that Zod is in and Superman floating through the phantom zone. And there's fire behind Emilio Estevez. He's like, ah, it's so cheesy. I think. The part where he has to read off his human code or whatever to Mick Jagger in the original, the joke at the end is that Mc Jagger, it was totally wrong, and Mc Jagger just said that it was correct, so that he had a change of heart. Fuck that. He got it right because he's now a combination of Alex Furlong and. Mc Candless, but that combination actually gives him the opportunity to better identify with Laura Dern's character. He now has levels of experience over those years from his incorporation of the two people. He has, he's got like the humanity from Alex Furlong and he's [00:33:00] got the experience and. Success from Ian McCandless. And so he actually has a chance to be with Laura Dern by being a combination of parts of these two people. THANDI: It functionally leaves him as a new person HOBBIT: Yeah, a new person that she's gonna give it a shot, and have this ambiguity at the end. Like, is this gonna work? I don't know. I don't even know who, you don't even know who you are yet, but we'll find out together kind of thing. So Freejack is all about who we are and if we are different people at different points in our lives, or if we're just a evolution the actors. Taylor Latner for Alex Furlong, Laura Dern for Julie Redland. Ian McCandless, I wanted the virtual version of this person. It's not gonna be like an older character. It's gonna be also. World is rife with disease. It doesn't have to be an old man that's dying. It could be somebody that just you know, all the pestilence the world. Let's give it a Bradley Cooper. Let's have somebody that is classically super handsome, as the [00:34:00] villain. You don't have to have an old man that's dying. THANDI: Yeah, and he's a strong actor. he can do. what he can do. HOBBIT: yeah, I think he can do it. and then Mark Michel Gillette. I wanted somebody that has this calmness to them, Jonathan Banks in most of what he does. There is no rush to the way he speaks. He feels confident in the scenes. He feels like he knows what's going on more than anybody else in the scene. And I wanted somebody that had that level of, gravitas that there's this energy around them that they are both calming and also like, Ooh, I don't know if I wanna fuck with them. And. Dramatically underrated actor, in my opinion, is Sterling K. Brown, who, he had a very small, scene in Black Panther as N'Jobu, he was, this Is Us. But also what really sold me on him was his portrayal of the defendant in Marshall. He was so good in that role and just brought it, and I think it's criminal how under. THANDI: Oh, he's a great actor HOBBIT: great Discussed he is as far as like dramatic actors. Yeah, he's fantastic. So, definitely check out Marshall if you haven't. He's the defendant. I forget the name of [00:35:00] the character, blew me outta the water. Fantastic. Only reason I think there wasn't more conversation is you've got Chadwick Bozeman in there, so kind of a Scotty Pippen and Michael Jordan situation going. THANDI: Look, I got a wife that looks just like yours. HOBBIT: So Then we got the rock stars, we got Mick Jagger and Buster Pointdexter. We got two actors that aren't good actors. One is a little bit better than the other, as of Cult a personality, at least that's David Johansen from the New York Dolls. I'm getting Tom Waits in there. Also a big weirdo that has been acting for years, have a lot of fun with it. THANDI: Yeah, he was, renfield. HOBBIT: And well, and he's in mystery men, as well. all of the, uh, like coffee and cigarettes and, uh, Jim Jarmusch all of those. Then I wanted a rockstar, quote unquote, that would not be a good actor. I don't know if I've ever seen them in a movie. I cannot imagine. They're good at acting. They don't need to be. They're just the hot rock star, character. Adam Levine as Victor Vacendak, just stand there with covered in tattoos [00:36:00] looking like a weird, like bone jacker thug from the future with all of his, like tattoos that he got in like a three year period. THANDI: I'm not threatened by you, Adam Levine Vacendak. I, I can't I can't even take you seriously. HOBBIT: That's exactly why I chose him, because there's nothing threatening about Mick Jagger in his role either. he's, just. A weird placeholder character and I said, let's just keep going with that. Let's just carry that energy over with Adam Levine. So yeah, I think that's it. So the whole point of this Freejack version is to, discuss the nature of, personhood. What makes you a person THANDI: Yeah. And, that's your gift with these pitches to add meat to the bone HOBBIT: Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of meat to the bone, the real meat of this show is, the trailers , the, uh, the trailers THANDI: I remember my pitch enough to actually do a trailer out of it. HOBBIT: God. Yeah. That's the hard part of going first is, trying to remember everything. So let me get that queue up. THANDI: The years [00:37:00] 2023 and Stranger Things, Joe Keery is Alex Furlong, a race car driver who's about to die and go to 2023. Freejack, a movie that finds Joe Keery in a situation that is his own, but very much not his own, starring as his alternate universe. Girlfriend Carrie Mulligan as the nun who helps him along his way. Kat Dennings. And also starring Michael Rosenbaum. Busta Rhymes. Kevin Bacon, Colin Farrell and Jason Statham from Director Sean Levy. Take yourself to an alternate version of your life and make it better freejack HOBBIT: yeah. THANDI: Wow. HOBBIT: Yeah, I think that was a good choice. The intro music for that one I think fit relatively well. Nice. Nice. All right. Now onto my fucking, I have no idea how I'm gonna do this Aronofsky version. So we're gonna find out together. Always the best [00:38:00] not plan ahead. Go for it. THANDI: Yeah, straight from the dome is not my favorite way to do it but, uh, I HOBBIT: Here we go, .Okay, cool. Let's light this turd candle. Here we go. Who are you? Who am I? What is it To be alive this fall, Alex, Furlong, finds out as he's transported to the future of 2041. Alex Furlong, a race car driver with a loving fiance, Julie. Dies in a horrifying car wreck, or does he, his consciousness transferred to the future and put into a clone version of his own body only to be chased through this dirty dystopian streets by a menacing presence. Taylor Lautner is Alex Furlong. Julie Redland, it played by Laura Dern, [00:39:00] fights against. Bradley Cooper and Sterling K. Brown, as Darren Aronofski asked the question, what is it to be alive? Also featuring Tom Waits Free Jack. THANDI: the trailer that asks you, I love it, or do I. HOBBIT: I think Freejack should be in the conversation more about the progression of sci-fi movies and what they were trying to do and what they were trying to say. But that doesn't mean it's a good film. I think it's one of those films that, it had some tools that it could have used a lot better. Other movies did use them a little bit better, but, I think it's still worth a mention from time to time. THANDI: No, it's interesting actually, on Tubi, there were a whole just truckload of, of B sci-fi movies from that era that I'm sure most of 'em were straight to video, but that were the end of that. If you like this, you'll like this. That I was very curious Will I ever watch them? Uh, I still drink [00:40:00] sometimes, I guess so, uh, there's HOBBIT: These, These, kind of movies, Freejack, if you have the opportunity, it is a perfect movie to throw on with some friends and a few drinks or a few, uh, other inebriates and enjoy for sure. And that's what I love about this era of sci-fi is they're bad. Most of them are really bad, but. This used to be my Saturday afternoons. Uh, When Ms. Amy Bogarde was still working on Saturdays, I would have the whole afternoon to watch this garbage. I would never ask her to watch with me love her too much. I wouldn't put her through that. And I'd watch like the core, uh, ,,like the 2004, THANDI: Man, that was a dumb ass era of movies. HOBBIT: oh so bad. But there's something kind of special about how. Unfortunately bad they are, and they're still happening. There's still the geo storms and hurricane heists out there that are just as bad. It's just that their budgets are bigger for some reason, because THANDI: year, moon fall. HOBBIT: moon fall is the biggest pile of hot fucking garbage. And I'm also like weirdly into [00:41:00] it at the same time, like I'm angered by the fact that it got so much money to be made. that was a hundred million dollar movie. This is a sci-fi channel movie. This isn't a, this shouldn't be a real, like a real real movie THANDI: When you have a legacy, you can make poop monster movies HOBBIT: Oh God. That's right. That was rolling Emrick, wasn't it? That's why. Yeah. Oh God. But watched Moon, uh, fall more than once, I think three times now. I've seen it. THANDI: Wow. How does that work? HOBBIT: Once out of morbid curiosity the other time, because I kept talking about it, THANDI: Man, you a PopCultist about your infatuation with Moon fall HOBBIT: Amy jokes that it's my favorite movie because then we watched it together and she's like, wow, this is real, this is worse than you even described. And then I, I forget, I maybe watched it with another friend at some point, but yeah, it's just, it's. So bad that I just, I can't wrap my brain around the fact that it actually exists. Like this is something that like is in the world [00:42:00] that was made, people signed on, like actors were in this movie and acted at it and. THANDI: The halle Berry had to pay for houses and cars too, I guess. HOBBIT: There was a special effects person whose marriage fell apart because they were working so many long hours on the special effects for this garbage fucking movie. And so they're like signing the divorce papers the weekend that this movie comes out and they see it in the theater. They're like this, this is what I sacrificed my marriage for is moon fall. This is, this is what I think about when watching Moon fall, because it's definitely not the plot. Thanks so much everyone for listening to this episode of Smack My pitch up, and, uh, Thandi. Thank you so much for, begrudgingly, going through this Mick Jagger, movie. The future of THANDI: thank you mate. HOBBIT: Crikey, make sure To rate, review, subscribe, tell you friends, repost our stuff on social media. Please, please share our stuff. , that's the best way for us to get around to New Ears is for you to repost the stuff from our social media. And, we will find you next time [00:43:00] for another episode of Smack My Pitch Up. I'm Mike The Hobbit, THANDI: I'm Thandi. tdy. HOBBIT: and you just got, uh, the pitch smacked outta ya from the future THANDI: Yeah. Little pitch, and a swing, and a miss.. Pitch and a swing Oh, and a Miss HOBBIT: mist,

45m
Feb 25, 2023
Red Heat: Republican Mustache

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 95 - Red Heat: Republican Mustache Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi start a new cold war as they fire of remakes and reimaginings of the 80's action classic Red Heat starring Jim Belushi and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Bustin Loose" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com/) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries   Transcript:   === Hobbit: [00:00:00] Hello geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots remakes, reimagine sequels cycles, and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television, and whatever else we decide to do that week. And with me as always, my fateful companion into the realms of remakes. We got Thandi Woodard here. Thandi: How do, Hobbit: How Thandi: I wanted to say hello and Russian, but I could not remember what Hello and Russian is,  Hobbit: Yeah. I think I have was it nine? No, that's German. I don't know any Russian, actually.  Thandi: we all know Das Vidanya. Hobbit: Yeah. Sag. Yeah. There we go. That's all I've got and that's about as close to Russian as Arnold Schwarzenegger. In this next movie that we are talking about, I'll smack my pitch up. I was about to say, he does his best. He doesn't even try. Thandi: Can I tell you that I I chose this movie and I'm sorry, like it's not it's not. I [00:01:00] remembered it being fun and it's not unfun, but it's not good. It's not like eighties movies have their own vibe or whatever, and this is like the ultimate mediocre representation of mediocre eighties. Hobbit: I know a lot of stuff happens in this movie, but it does feel like nothing happens in this movie. It's just like they, they walk from point A to Thandi: said, everybody's. Just doing eighties. The Walter Hill's you know what guys? Just do just be eighties guys. Just be eighties guys and that'll be the movie that we put out as you guys being eighties guys. Just do that. Hobbit: It should have been understood just by the casting that they had the lesser belu. In this movie, and that should have been enough to know that, okay, we're just phoning this in. This is not nobody needs to really go for it on this one. Cuz Belushi, he's clearly the comic relief character like the smart ass, grizzled cop from Chicago character. But there's nothing funny about him at all. Like he's just he, it's not, he's not even annoying. He's just a [00:02:00] non-existent Thandi: And he's supposed to be funny because he's supposed to be like ably charming or whatever, but he's n he's just irritating and it is yeah. You feel what they're going for with this as an eighties movie, and it just, it doesn't all the way work. It's not bad. It's not terrible. It's just a wet fart of an eighties action. Hobbit: I will say the best part of this movie for. Has to be hands down. Not that there's a really big competition here, but when they're playing chicken with buses, that was really, I'm like, okay, you know what? That's new. I'm, I've not seen that there's a whole movie about a bus driving fast. Didn't go against another bus. It was just one bus. Thandi: sure. Why not? Yeah. Everybody should die here, but they're not or whatever, and it doesn't matter. Like I feel like the climax is really anti-climactic it, even though it's a big set piece. It doesn't go hard. It doesn't feel hard enough when it ends, and Schwartzenegger just ends the movie. He just ends [00:03:00] the Oh, the guy. Okay. You're gone. Needs a fight or something like schwartzenegger and Belushi fighting like 50 guys or something. Hobbit: That's the thing. Schwarzenegger doesn't even really fight a lot of people in this. He shoots a couple folks, but there's not a whole lot of hand to hand. Yeah. And Thandi: The naked fight in the snow, which is, it's fun. That's fun. Hobbit: That's fun. That is fun. Yeah, definitely. But we are talking about, if you didn't realize from the title of this episode we're talking about the movie Red Heat some classic eighties, Arnold Schwartzenegger. Buddy cop movie from Russia meets Chicago, I guess was the Thandi: What are the most eighties that ever aided with the lesser belu? Hobbit: also, this is like the tail end of the Cold War. This movie's coming out and you're rooting for the Russian operative this whole time, which is, that's a weird, that's a weird choice. There's No. [00:04:00] So it's not about rooting for the Russian operative. It's about rooting for the police. He's the police and you're supporting the, it's the, because even he's ah, we are not politicians. It's okay for us to be to like each other. Whatever. It's about respecting the police and supporting the police. Thandi: The working man basically. It's the work, it's the respect for the working man, whether they're Russian or American or whatever. And the heroic eighties style police that don't do anything wrong, it's just they're fighting against a corrupt world no matter what country they're in. Hobbit: I had a rollercoaster of emotion at one moment in this movie where they're talking about drugs in their countries Thandi: Yeah. Miami with, they're turning into Miami. Yeah. Hobbit: And Arnold is like in. Our country, we, you our country, I'm not gonna do it. Aye. Aye. Aye. They were having issues with like drugs coming in from China. So they rounded up all of all the drug Addicts, [00:05:00] all of the drug dealers and took them to the square and sh killed them. Like just shot 'em. And Belushi's response to that wasn't like, oh fuck, that's hardcore. He was like, yeah, they won't let us do that here. It's unfortunate. Like the politicians won't let us do that. And Schwarzenegger's then you tie them up and shoot them first. And she's huh. And so first he's talking rounding up the drug dealers and the drug addicts and like shooting. And I'm like, fuck, that's hardcore. And then he is like, just murder the politicians. I'm like, That Thandi: Yeah. And Belushi's no we. We gotta kind of follow the law and it they make light of the American justice system as it stands to protect the citizenry. I, in this movie, basically it's super hardcore like pro police state, Hobbit: It really is. Thandi: The, they're like the world's on fire because of darkies and foreigners, or, And the only way they're protect it is to have this hardcore, [00:06:00] no rules, no holds barred. Police state, Hobbit: and everybody's on board like that. That is, I really didn't dive that deep into the thought process between the Chicago police and these Russians that are showing up that are the enemy of the country. But they're all cops, so they're like, oh, you kill innocence too. Cool. Great. Okay. We're like, That is Buck Wild. What is nice about a movie? Yeah. . With a movie like this though, there is so much room to build from it that it does make for an interesting choice, for a smack my pitch up. Because Thandi: does because it you, you don't have to respect the movie. There's nothing to hold sacrosanct in this circumstance. You can go hog wild. Hobbit: And one thing that I really wanted to dig into more with mine is That Russia and the states aren't on the best of terms like that just kind of gets glazed over. If anything, it was more of they acted almost like they were buddies, but you still gotta be careful about your state [00:07:00] secrets. That was the kind of energy that they were playing with each other. It was like don't trust Americans don't trust the Russians. And that's it. I really want to inject a little bit more of. Cold War Energy back into this. Although my version is a modern take, it takes place in the modern day. But I just, there's so many weird choices in this movie for it to come out as just like a perfectly fine, mediocre movie. Tom or Jim Belushi, Jim Belushi and and Arnold. Hanging out together. It was like the Kmart version of True Lies with Tom Arnold. Got the the kind of like rubenesque like cop and then the the hardcore badass dude working together. But True lies worked. Thandi: Yeah. Yeah. The it's interesting because Walter Hill has directed some of our favorite movies, including a movie we've done a pitch on before. He was the director of the [00:08:00] Warriors. Hobbit: Oh, wow. This is so far removed from from the whimsy of the warrior. Thandi: Yeah it's so different from the Warriors. He was director of Streets of Fire. It's different from that. He directed both 48 hours, which are actually pretty decent. But tonally are very similar to this. They just the stars, they work better. They have better synchronicity maybe, I don't Because Arnold Schwarzenegger is a big freaking movie star. And actually Jim Belushi can be okay, as I remembered, cuz I saw this in the theater back in the day. I thought he was okay in this. But yeah, this is a little bit obnoxious. Maybe it's just a product of so much time having passed, but. Hobbit: I don't know, but I am interested to see how we decide to build upon this this very simple structure. Basic gist is there is a Russian former operative or current operative that goes to the states to work out a drug deal to move Koch into [00:09:00] Russia. And Arnold is tapped to go get Thandi: Oh, he's a career criminal. He's a career Hobbit: oh, career criminal. Yeah. And he's mother Russia doesn't wanna look bad in the face of the Americans and the rest of the world by having drugs like brought into their country. Arnold goes to stop him basically to get him without airing the dirty laundry of what he gets stopped for. Cuz he's gets stopped for like an unregistered gun. Right. Is that the Thandi: Arnold goes after him because he killed his partner. Hobbit: Sure. That's why he gets, that's why he gets tapped basically. Is that yeah you're gonna do a good job here going after this guy. And and he kind of does. I like this. Injecting a little more plot into this. Mine is a modern day take it has a stylized action kind of vibe to it where everybody is able everybody looks good, nobody's tripping over themselves. It's not like a it's not so much comedic [00:10:00] as it is kind of fun and it's approach. Some comedic moments, but definitely more of a just straight up, like over like stylized action kind of movie. For me, I, Ivan Danco was a very hard casting choice. I needed somebody that was, if not Russian, able to do a decent Russian accent. So that required a little bit of research. I decided to go with a kind of a, you think of him like he would be an action star and he is done some action movies, but he is done more dramas than he's done action movies is Tom. Thandi: Oh, yeah, Tom Hardy is an action star and he's a great dramatic actor. He's both things. Hobbit: And I think there's a stoic sense that he has, especially if you saw Lawless. He's really good in that that I think would lend itself to playing an Ivan Danco kind of character. And he was in a movie called Child 44, where he had a Russian accent and it was good. It was a decent Russian accent. It wasn't too over the [00:11:00] top. It. My favorite Russian accent, which is clearly John Malkovich and Rounders. That is definitely Thandi: still made fun of today. Yeah. Hobbit: I need to find the shirt. I found a shirt that it says on the shirt. I need that shirt. It's brilliant. If you haven't seen rounders, the movies, whatever it's a fine movie, I guess, but Thandi: Was it you that No, it was a YouTube video I saw recently. Who was in that movie with him? One of his co-stars. Hobbit: There was oh, who was in it? Matt. Matt Damon was in it, I think. And it was Matt Damon. So. Malkovich is doing the pee Him he's doing the horrible Russian accent or whatever, and everybody's oh, yay, John Malkovich and Matt Damon's what the fuck is this guy doing? And then there's a they, this, there's a scene break and Malkovich sees the confusion on Matt Damon's face and he looks across the table at him and he is I'll tell you a secret. [00:12:00] I'm a terrible actor. That's it. That's incredible. That is incredible. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. I thoroughly suggest, if you haven't seen Rounders is worth it just for. Malkovich is bits in it, it's so fucking good. But yeah, Tom Hardy can actually do a Russian accent play. Ivan Donk. This version of the film Ivan is drafted to go after a former military asset Victor Rust roti that, yeah, former former Ukrainian. Picked up by the, by Russia to do cyber warfare. Basically, he's a hacker type person. He, his estranged daughter and not wife. The Gina Ghan character, I switched from wife because they never even have any moments of chemistry or anything. And it doesn't matter. I feel like a daughter has a little bit more like ooph [00:13:00] to it, and their relationship are a little different here. He's a strange daughter is young adult living in the America, is doing her thing. He really just has been absent from her life, wants to do stuff best by her, and is seeing this vast amount of corruption that's happening within his country and also within the United States. Partly a cocaine shipment that is getting ready to be shipped to Russia courtesy of the CIA as a means of trying to like they did with KRA in. In the in the eighties destabilization. Yeah. what they don't realize is that Russia's already got crocodile. So Coke doesn't do dick for them. Like coke, cocaine is like a cup of coffee. But Thandi: could you sprinkle some bath salts on this? Hobbit: right? But he decides since there's this large amount of cocaine and money being exchanged between governments in a super secret way, that he has access to the information on where it. He can steal it or, and use [00:14:00] that as a means of getting money from both governments, pitting them against each other and getting out a dodge with his daughter while they go fighting one another. He's basically setting up the governments to blame each other for the disappearing coke and u and using the money that he gets from extorting to basically disappear off the map of his daughter. That's his. And it goes awry. It does not work. Ivan NCO gets sent out by the Russian government to stop him because if he gets caught by the Americans, he has a ton of Russian secrets that he would probably very handily hand over exchange for his freedom. So he's a danger to the Russian military. And the CIA is doing something super fucking underhanded and he knows about it. And so they want to quiet him before the word gets out that the c a is trafficking cocaine to Russia. So both governments are after him. Ivan Danco is kind of in the middle, not realizing after he gets to America that this is some dirty pool that's being played. And Victor [00:15:00] Lev is a unhinged weirdo that he has to basically track down and try to get the information from without everybody dying. So Ivan NKOs, Tom Hardy his partner played by Jim Pucci in the original Art Riddick. I'm gonna go ahead and do Chris Pratt for this one. He is married to Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter. And I thought it would be kind of fun to cast him in this and just him putting on like a shitty mustache like he had in one of the Guardians movies. He had a mustache for two. In one of the Avengers movies or something give 'em a shitty mustache, make them like a grizzled Chicago cop that's trying to do one-liners, but they don't land very well against Tom Hardy, who's stoic and just not having any of it. And I think the uncomfortable nature of that relationship would make for actually really funny moments. Thandi: That would be a man Tom Hardy would eat Prat alive, Hobbit: Would eat him a [00:16:00] lot. Absolutely. Pratt would be like, stupidity, dude dance or something, and Tom Hardy would just stare through him be incredible. In the meantime, they're trying to chase down Victor Roli, who is played by the incomparable Peter Stormeyer. Thandi: Oh, perfect. That's basically Peter Stormeyer of his career is playing that guy. Hobbit: He is playing the big old weirdo like Eastern European guy. Don't even give him fucking lines. Let him just make them up and it will be a better movie. Honestly. Peter Stormer, if you're not familiar, he was one of the nihilists in the Big Lebowski. He's, he was the devil in Constantine. He did the, was it the VW commercials for a little bit, right? I. Thandi: Did he Hobbit: I think, yeah, he's, he is done everything. He is incredible. He is such a blast to watch on screen. He'll steal every moment. Then Lieutenant Stops played by Lawrence Fishburne in a horribly underutilized role. They didn't do shit with him in this movie. Thandi: He was just there to be that [00:17:00] guy. wasn't lo, he wasn't Larry Fishburn yet. So But I wanted to give, I wanted to give the little more gravitas to the lieutenant in the fishburn can do don't get me wrong, but I wanted to give the role a little bit more gravitas and still have an actor that can have that kind of intensity that you want from a lieutenant so Denzel all day make him like angry lieutenant. Hobbit: And then the daughter, Kat Manetti is, her mother's name was Manetti. She took her mother's name the daughter of Victor Rostovetti. I went with Mia Kunis, who is actually fluent in Russian and is part Thandi: has the. Hobbit: and she has the look. So I think she would make for a good estranged daughter character to Peter store. Mayor would Thandi: Definitely I could a hundred percent see that, that relationship. Hobbit: And with Chris Pratt with Denzel Washington stylized action movie. I [00:18:00] went with the director Anton Fuqua to set this up and hit it outta the park. Oh, that'd be a good time. And. It's interesting cuz Anton Fuqua, I don't think has ever made like a movie that has fun energy. I think his movies do have lots of energy, but it's all threatening. It's all a little bit more intense, but he has done the straight ahead action film that doesn't have a lot of depth to it, and he's also done the really good. Thoughtful like borderline artistic action film as well. So I think him being able to play with the full speed ahead action film, but have an awkward comedic tone to it, I think would be, he got close with Magnificent seven, like he did almost get there just because of the kind of actors that he had in those roles. This casting, I think he would be impossible not to get some funny moments between Tom Hardy and Chris Pratt, Peter store Mayer, [00:19:00] talking to Mia Kuni Mia Kuni talking to Chris Pratt and Tom Hardy and Chris Pratt flirting a bit, and Tom Hardy being very, not okay with it. And just their, all the relationships I think would be very fun to see on. Thandi: Now, there'd be some fun energy to see them play off of each other. Hobbit: Yeah. Thandi: little intensity there too. Anybody with Tom Hardy? There's gonna be some some intensity. Hobbit: absolutely, and that's why I wanted Tom Hardy is to be the anchor of this, because with those other actors, there is a good chance that this would just get away from the director. But Tom Hardy, he's a really good actor and he is able to play that intense character. And if he. Holds that down. It keeps everybody at a level where the fun can still be there, but it's still held down as a straight ahead action film. So yeah, that is my pitch for for red heat. Thandi: I would enjoy seeing that. I only have one beef, which is that you made old ass Denzel, a lieutenant. [00:20:00] He should be the police captain. Hobbit: That's okay. That is a fair assessment, but also police captains not going out and getting shotgun shot at him on the street. So yeah, he's in the office asking for guns and badges for cops that do things their own way. Thandi: turn in your badge. Hobbit: turn Thandi: You're the best we got. It's a damn shade. But we have rules in this department. Hobbit: I don't like, I don't like how you do things, but Damnit you get results. Yeah. Thandi: Oh, eighties. Captain you're a treasure Hobbit: why isn't there a parody movie just called eighties Police Captain and it's just this like wide open, disgruntled police captain would be fucking incredible. I'd be there for Thandi: because not enough people still smoke cigars maybe. I don't know. But yes, that would be a lot of fun. Hobbit: Because Tom Sellek has retired his mustache and Thandi: I don't know if you've ever watched Blue Bloods, but Tom Sellek is awesome. Tom Sellek makes you want to be Republican. [00:21:00] That's how Hobbit: Oh wow. Thandi: is like a, is like an old like state and respectable white man. You're like, man, you guys have some really good ideas. Tom Sellek is good. He is good at his. If you watched him on Magnum PI and you saw him now, you'd be like, wow, that is quite a transformation. But he is, he's a joy to watch as like the respected you remember back when John McCain was running for president, you saw John McCain. You were like, you know what, I wouldn't, I'm not gonna vote for you, but I respect you, John McCain. I almost felt the same way about Romney. also, like guys who present respectability. Even if I don't agree with their policies, I'm like, oh, you won't be a monster. Especially now in retrospect when actual monsters have taken over the landscape of the right of American politics and yeah. Tom Sellek as a human being, as a callback to a different time. [00:22:00] You only use the N word at home in Tom Sellek's world. It's just you don't take it out into public. Hobbit: I pictured old Tom Sellek as living in a log cabin near a creek with his dog, and he wears like one of those puffy vests on Dewey, slightly chilly mornings as he's out there fishing. Thandi: Yeah. And then he comes down the street and he is you got some problems with your house. I see your roof needs some work. Let's get up there. But I'm sleeping. I'm tired, Tom Sellek. I'll be up on the roof. I'll meet you up there when you get up and Tom Sellek like fixes your roof cuz he's that kind of neighbor that's the kind of Tom Sellek that lives in my mind. Hobbit: That's the one that, those Hallmark movies where there's like the racist neighbor, but he's not actually racist. He just he like treats everybody with respect, but he just doesn't like, like blacks or something. But there's no example of him being shitty at any point to anyone. But that's just like a thrown in character thing. That doesn't make sense. That's [00:23:00] Tom Selleck where. Thandi: Yeah he is Clint Eastwood. If Clint East Wood's characters didn't actually actively complain about yellow people and black people Hobbit: Oh man. Whew. I'm just thinking of grand Torino and some of the moments in that movie were, whew a lot. Thandi: Man it's kind of a shame, this is a little tangent, but it's kind of a shame that all of our our grizzled like old school actors have been become monsters over the course of time. You can be that person. You're old, of course you're that person. That's fine. Just shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up and be awesome. You know who I think of all the time because I'm like, man, you are just a treasure on screen and you should be in real movies and not these things produced directly by like conservative interests. James Woods. James Woods is a, an incredible screen presence and the dude's a monster. It's okay to be a [00:24:00] monster. Just be a monster silently and get your paper and continue to entertain us. Hobbit: I don't, I think he kind of showed his hand a little bit in John Carpenter's vampires, cuz he was such a prick in that movie and you're like, he's doing this too. Like James Wood is a good actor, but he's not, that he's not that good of an actor. That was just him. Killing the vampires. That wasn't, he wasn't playing a character at that point. He was like saying racist shit. Like he just smoking a cigar and just being an asshole at everybody. You're like, that's the, that's actually the most real James Wood has ever been on screen Thandi: incredible asshole. He's an incredible asshole, but all right, tangent over my pitch. Hobbit: Okay. All right. So Thandi: got lost in the Hobbit: doing the serious take. The remix is all on you. Thandi: remix. Hobbit: Wiki. Thandi: So my inspiration for this pitch came from Schwarzenegger's line that I mentioned earlier where he is it's okay to like each other. We are not to politicians. And I'm like, but what if they were politicians? And so the angle I'm coming [00:25:00] at this from is because it's not a good movie. I don't have to respect anything. I'm going batshit crazy balls to the wall. My movie takes place in a world where, what if they were politicians? But in this world, politicians are, they're all Chuck Norris. Basically. Every poli every world leader is like Teddy Roosevelt or like Vladimir Putin. They're like, oh, you could probably kill a guy with your bare hands. And in this world, they come into direct conflict. So there's like fisticuffs and tough, everybody's like an eighties tough. With eighties tough guy interactions, direct conflict, like old white dudes and old white ladies beating each other up directly because that's just the tone of this world, that the leader is the strongest person basically. Hobbit: Like Sunday Church every week is the church scene from the Kingsmen. That's okay. Cool. Thandi: Whipping some ass. Yes. So in my skew of this movie what [00:26:00] if they were. Politicians. Basically what happens is that the premier of Russia who is played by John Cena and he is Russian premiere Victor Resta Rust is involved in a situation where he's basically trying to get access to some crypto, and In that conflict, he comes into direct conflict with Mickey Rourke, who is the president of Belarus. Yuri Oga Carav, which was the partner of Schwarzenegger who got killed. And he kills him. He kills him with his bare hands and his best friend, the president of Poland, is out for revenge and what they find out is that the crypto keys are actually in America. The physical keys are in America. They're stored on a server somewhere in America. That's the information he has. So he does like what is kind of disguised as a a [00:27:00] political visit to America. John Cena's character, the Russian Premier does, and the Polish president, Ivan Danko, who is played by. Not doing a Russian accident or a Polish accident at all. Gerard Butler is Ivan Danko. Hobbit: Yes. Thandi: follows the Russian Premier to America and has a coming together scene with a former American president, former president, art Riddick. You son of a bitch. I need help. And they do the predator handshake, that kind of thing. And art Riddick is played by will. Who is doing a very thinly veiled, basically Barack Obama Will Smith is playing action Barack Obama. Hobbit: Yes, Thandi: So they they come. Hobbit: Because just to have a sidequel where it's just a UN meetup and it's just a royal rumble, like that's all it is. It's just royal rumble. Every time the UN gets [00:28:00] together, it's just them in a ring beating the shit out of each other. Thandi: Perfect for the world stage that I have set here. But so they meet in America, do the muscle handshake they bring in the former Secretary of State, Maxine Gallagher, who was Ridley's partner in the first movie, Maxine Gallagher's, played by Charlene Theron, and she's basically doing Hillary Clinton.  Hobbit: Bill wishes  Thandi: They bring in this third to help huge action scene. She is killed by the premiere of Russia. So they get in a huge set peace fight, and he beats the shadow of her and kills her. And then that murder necessitates the involvement of the current presidential administration. Which is as President Lou Donnelly, who is the captain president. Lou Donnelly is Liam Neeson. Basically Liam Neeson doing Joe Biden And he can't help directly, he can't be involved directly. So he gets his vp, his lieutenant to oversee [00:29:00] the the operation of these two world leaders coming together to, to try to take down the Russian premiere in America cover. His vice president Louise Stubs is Aisha, Tyler Hobbit: Yes. Thandi: So they have they have action scenes through DC into some other parts of the country back to dc in their little game of cat and mouse. Ross has American allies his American allies taking the place of the black nationalists or whatever they were in the original movie . Ultranationalist Whites known as the hard lads, and their uh, congressional ally is a person known as Porsche Adams Veld. And so that's their congresswoman that's helping the Ultranationalist Hard lads help Raeli kills ve because she can't actually help him. She fails in, when you fail a Russian, you get murdered. So he, she kills Veed or he kills. And the game of Cat and Mouse [00:30:00] continues, and then it ends with a big ass fight on the steps of the Lincoln Monument with Danko and Riddick tag teaming to beat the shit out of the bigger, stronger rust. And they beat the Russian to premiere to death in front of the Lincoln Monument and And then Not enough. Not enough people get beaten to death in front of the Lincoln Monument. Really like I what I'm saying. So the movie's almost over and, but basically they're like, oh, but what happened to the crypto keys? And then Danko finds out that former President Ridic had the keys all along. He passes them off to the Polish president, who then takes the crypto keys and the money that comes with that back to his country and scene. Hobbit: Yes, I'm here for just, I want. A series of movies to exist in this world that you've created. You can just take whatever eighties action movie and just do a version of it in [00:31:00] this eighties action, hero politician world that you've created. I wanna see it.  Thandi: It would be big fun. And so my directors for this a lot of their brand is just like paring eighties action. Iconography, it drives a lot of what they find humorous. Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I'm thinking like a Team America vibe going through this movie and I was like, man the idea itself is very Trey Parker and Matt Stone. So those are my directors for this project. Hobbit: I am now realizing that the thing that the world has missed is them doing an action movie. They've done Team America with puppets, but I mean like a live action movie. I think the world is ready. I think we're ready for it. Thandi: Yeah, I would love to see, because it'd be a good time. They I don't think they would do a straight action move. They'd still try to parody something and it would be a good. Hobbit: Hell yeah. I'm here for it. Sweet. Red heat. I don't know man, like this could be paired with basically any eighties action movie, especially buddy cop thing. I was thinking like running Scared [00:32:00] Oh, definitely. They could go on vacation. They could go on vacation for 40 minutes with the fellas in the middle of the movie. I've always wanted to see that action movie where you just have two separate movies that come out around the same time and there's just one scene that is in both movies where like they kind of enter into each other. Thandi: kinda walked by each other. How you doing? Hobbit: Or they're chasing their own bad guys, but they end up driving next to each other during a car chase or something and looking at each other like, huh. And then they just trail off into different directions and then the movies continue. But there's just that one shared moment in both movies would be incredible. Thandi: Yeah, that would be incredible. That'd be incredible. I feel like that is the kind of thing that would take place probably in the past 20 years. I feel like there could easily have been a scene like that with the mocking of pop culture generally and also the crossover culture because crossovers bring money. So, yeah, Hobbit: Yeah, true. Very true. Hell yeah. We've got one last little bit to do here, and that is our trailer. [00:33:00] Some people's favorites, some people's least favorite from from the show. I'm gonna get some music together and we'll get that going From Visionary Director Anton Fuqua comes anew. Cold War this summer. Ivan Danko, played by Tom Hardy teams up with Hardened Chicago, detective Art Riddick, played by Chris Pratt as they try to stop the world from being handed a Coke this summer, Peter Storm Air plays Victor Roli, a broken man. Just trying to find a way to. Insert himself into his daughter's life and one big secret Coke deal could be the answer. Watch as Russia and America team up to fight the drug trade and that they also are facilitating a bit. It's kind of a problem this summer. Red heat. Thandi: Iran Contra, Hobbit: [00:34:00] Yeah, part two. Thandi: That is that is good times. I'm not ready for this at all. You know how I used to write all my trailers? I haven't written a trailer in a while, so I am wing it yet again. Hobbit: You wing it a little better than me though. So I still have faith. I used to say that I did the Justin Rowland thing, but I don't think that is a phrase that I can use anymore.  Thandi: Ooh. Yeah. You should probably not say that out loud. Hobbit: that loud . What I mean Thandi: people will start looking at your text messages if you Hobbit: Yeah, right. what I mean is that I just go and then stuff happens. So let's see. So you're doing your wackadoo eighties action hero politician. Version here with Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Thandi: That is correct. Hobbit: Excellent. All right, let me cue up the music. Thandi: The 44 Magnum is the most powerful handgun in the world. No, the most powerful hand weapons in the world are these four fists. [00:35:00] Let's get him from the minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone coming at you. President Will Smith President. Oh God. Scottish guy, other president. Brain farting and Premier John Cena, Andrew R. Butler are in a three-way conflict to make the world safe for cryptocurrency as they bring the red heat Hobbit: You'll the Scottish guy. I love it. I love it. That's great. all. You have, you've done Russia proud with that retelling of their national movie red heat. Thandi: Yeah, it is a national treasure. It's like the Battleship Potemkin, and then red heat is a [00:36:00] close Hobbit: Yep. Exactly. So that was a really good time. I think we, not that the bar was very high, but I think we actually outdid the original, much like John Carpenter's the Thing. The, sometimes the remake is better than the original. We're Thandi: Yeah, I think we did. Hobbit: jumping rope Thandi: we should do more shitty movies I think. I think we should stop doing these darlings and just start picking stuff from the 99 cent bin. And that's what we do. The pitch max on 90 site, 99 cent bin movies. Hobbit: I don't think that's a bad call, but you do know that path leads to, at some point, doing battlefield Earth.  Thandi: Oh I don't wanna do the Scientologist movie. Hobbit: don't either. But I think honestly there are a few movies where  the premise is decent, but the execution was terrible that we could possibly have a lot of fun putting our own little spin on. So I think we're gonna dig in a little bit deeper into this territory for future episodes. Thandi: It's a new podcast. Hobbit: Woo. Thandi, thank you so much again for [00:37:00] joining me on this adventure through Chicago's Mean Streets This time. Although not Mean Streets, that's a far superior movie. But yeah. Make sure to rate, review, subscribe, all the things you do for podcasts for this show. We are gonna be releasing regularly, so you can definitely expect a lot more weird and fun content coming your way from smack my pitch up. Make sure to check out all the other shows on the network at guipodcast.com. Make sure to check out Thandi's other show. Thandi: My handle is Jonathan Blade. It's about the musings of internet citizen Jonathan Blade, who happens to be me. Me, Hobbit: Me. So check all that stuff out and we'll find you next time for another episode. I'm Michael Hobbit Thandi: and I'm Thandi. Hobbit: and uh, you just got this pitch smacked out of ya. Thandi: Yeah, just like your communism bitches. Hobbit: Get to the remake. Now that was terrible.

38m
Feb 17, 2023
Fatal Attraction: Stuck In Crazy

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 94 - Fatal Attraction: Stuck In Crazy Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi visit one of the greatest sexy thrillers of all time as they try to suppress their... Fatal Instinct Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "A Darker Heart" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries   Transcript: SMPU - Fatal Attraction === Hobbit: [00:00:00] Hello Geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots remakes does everything. I lost track of that. Thandi: the things. Yes, Hobbit: All the things, all the redos of stuff that we have come to it's all a blend at this point. I love it when it's like a, it's a Torch Pass movie sequel reboot. That they do now, where it's technically a sequel, but it's also brand new. It. Thandi: there to make money. Yes. Love it. Hobbit: Oh, it's where everything's got sub categoried so much that they don't even make sense when you try to explain what it is now. It used to be just a remake or a reboot, and then that's it. Thandi: got one of the old guys and Timothy Chalamet, and we're calling it a re-imagining sequel. What was it? Legacy. Lega Sequel is the big thing now. Hobbit: Legacy . Yeah, absolutely. And we see it with the Ghostbusters is a good one. Creed is another one oh, a good one was the Ben Stiller Owen [00:01:00] Wilson, Thandi: Oh Zoolander two Hobbit: no not Zoolander two, the car one a Starsky and Hutch Thandi: oh. Hobbit: where at the end the original guys showed up and sold them the car and it was a, yeah, I don't know. 2021 Jump Street was the same way Thandi: Yeah, except Hobbit: it's oh, we were in Jump Street. Yeah, that was a really fun film. Speaking of a fun film no, this is a good film the one that we're talking about this episode, but I wouldn't go so far to say fun. It's hitting a lot of fear points. for for men, I guess. So It's definitely morality tale Thandi: it is a morality it's a straight up morality play, and that's fine. Oh, and by the way, The other gentleman is Mike. I'm Thandi. We love you. Hobbit: Oh, cool. Yeah, the intro stuff that we normally do at the beginning got so excited to jump Thandi: Yeah. No it's so, I love this movie. Like I hadn't seen it in 20 years and I was into it [00:02:00] like I was in the movie theater eating popcorn. I was into it. Like I was talking to myself and going, oh, no, when I had all the anxiety of a dude watching a dude just do stupid shit, making stupid dude mistakes. Oh, it was awesome. I thought this was a really good movie. I didn't remember that. It was a really good, like the, I thought the cinematography was good. I thought that the acting was good. The storytelling was interesting. I was all in on. Hobbit: and I feel they didn't overexplain anything. It was just the information that you needed to get like through that part of the plot. It. I'm trying to over decorate the movie with a bunch of additional people or side. I was trying to think of side characters that I would need to cast possibly while watching this movie. And there's only four other people in this movie, beside the main Thandi: that's a, it's a very small story. Hobbit: ke Yeah, absolutely. But that's all it needs to be. It doesn't detract by keeping it small at all. It actually keeps it a much [00:03:00] tighter movie. And this is just under two hours. It's not a short movie. It's a standard. Thandi: yeah. It's a full story, but it kept me engaged the entire time. And, you know what and big up to Adrian Lynn for doing the same movie over and over again for 40 years and making it pretty great every time. Hobbit: I'm the amount of sexy thrillers, that Michael Douglass has been in is just incredible to me. That j there was just a period of time, there was like a 10 year little spot. Michael Douglas was just like onscreen fucking Thandi: people. Like they don't do, they don't do this kind of movie anymore for probably years, but he is manhandling, just manhandling what's his CoStar's name? Glen Close. He's manhandling Glen, close. It is disgusting and awesome. Hobbit: There is a scene where Glen closed, like pulls down her shirt into her first reveal of her nipple. And I swear in my [00:04:00] head, Michael Douglas went, ow, as he even and jumped on it. Just ready to roll. Just aggressive fucking in this Thandi: Yeah, no it's, it is a sight to behold. Like I said, they don't make movies like this anymore. Sexy thrillers get made sometimes, but as far as like people pawing each other, that doesn't happen like that anymore. Hobbit: No I think the most recent pawing at each other sex scene that I saw was in Bros.  Thandi: Oh, do they have something like that? Hobbit: something, but it was actually playing at the aggressive sex scenes a bit where they're like, Shoving their feet in each other's face and not in a sexy way, like pressing their head against the wall kind of thing. Very funny. Very Thandi: love. Hobbit: But yeah. One thing I do miss about these sexy thrillers and something that just like you said wouldn't play today, is that morality aspect of don't cheat on your wife, cuz she might be fucking crazy. And the rule that we learned as teenagers from like [00:05:00] the, our older brothers and older friends. There are some things that come with, as they said, and the time sticking your dick in crazy is that you don't know what kind of results may come Thandi: That was the saying, but as somebody from the restaurant industry, I had to, it couldn't help it. It was part of my lifestyle. Hobbit: look, everybody at a certain point in their life needs to have a whore phase male or female in between everybody needs. I think it's important absolutely to. Really explore what you like, what you don't like, what you're willing to handle, and what you're not willing to handle. I think that's a super important thing. There's no shame in it whatsoever. Ever. I've had my time, my friends have had their time. Good for fucking them. But yeah, occasionally you'll run across somebody that , oops, that was a bad idea. And this is definitely that Thandi: and it's the, and you knew. once she started spitting her game, and I was like, man, Alex has mad game, but it's a little bit scary. Before they even got [00:06:00] into stuff, I was like, oh man this is way aggressive. This might not be a good scene for you, man, knowing it's not gonna be a good scene for 'em, but yeah. Ooh. Hobbit: When the moment hits where suddenly, and I think it was very deftly written, the turn in the conversation from it being very light. Nobody's saying anything flirtation to being overt flirtation, where they discuss basically who's making the call on which way this goes. And Michael Douglas says, that's definitely your call, not mine. And I'm like, bitch, you're married like . What do you mean? That's her call. She's got nothing to lose in Thandi: At that point, I think he was just having fun with it. He was like, oh yeah, we're gonna fuck. And she's oh yeah, no, we are, we're gonna fuck. And he's okay, Hobbit: No, he was playing with it like the night before. What you know is gonna be a long day at work and you start playing with the idea of calling out. But you know, in your head you're eventually gonna call out. Like you've already made that determination in your brain, but you haven't really admitted it to yourself yet. That's the flirtation that he is doing with [00:07:00] fucking, like he knows. That's where it's going. 100%. But he is no, I'm a, I'm good husband. I wouldn't do that. But what Would it be like? He already knows it's happening. He already knows it's going now even with Glen Close, like I haven't decided. Yes, bitch. Yes, you have. You have decided. What do you mean? No, I haven't decided Thandi: Yes, she has decided. That's one of the the thing, the old pieces of wisdom too, is that she knows beforehand and it's on you to f it up, but in his case, effing it up was actually going and doing the thing. Hobbit: Yep. And. I was curious to see how it played for me as an adult. The turn from it being this mutual decision to hook up and fool around. That was like, he's married, he can't turn in anything and everybody knows to it being this weird stalker kind of story and man for it didn't age poorly at all. I feel like there was, it felt very genuine. Once you're in it, it's a different story than when you're just [00:08:00] hypothetically discussing it. Thandi: Yeah. So for me the thing that was striking because a lot of the movies very naturalistic, except for Glenn Clo, seems like a cartoon character. If I hadn't engaged with people like Glenn Close, I would be like, man, she's playing a cartoon character, but she's playing people that I've met. This is a, perhaps not where it goes, but this is a very understandable relationship situation cuz I've seen it. Hobbit: Yeah, I have. and yeah, this is definitely a turned up to 11 version. Great. But it's not out of the realm of possibility. It works. It's not like a fast and furious movie where nothing makes sense. The human relationships here fit the way that they should to make sense. So that being said, let's ruin it. Let's let's take this movie word we're very happy with that I don't really see Thandi: Yeah, cuz I feel like we can only ruin it like the the genre has been done to death at this point. [00:09:00] It was really interesting finding any angle to get a grip on. But yeah. I love this movie enough that I think it stands on its own whether we ruin it or. Hobbit: This is really one of the top three sexy thrillers, right? There's like basic instinct of fatal attraction and then maybe what, nine and a half weeks? Thandi: Yeah. So my favorite before this, because I don't watch sexy thrillers all the time, I never did was unfaithful, which is also an Adrian Lynn movie from like 2002 or something. It made me have a chub for Diane Lane until now, even as Ma Kent, I was like  Hobbit: diane Lane is aging well. She is. She's doing a very good job there. And. Yeah, those sexy thrillers. There was a time in my life that I went through all of 'em. I like Jade was watching nine and a half weeks, of course. Basic, like I what was the one Body Heat? Do you remember? Body Heat, I think. Was that Melanie Griffith? Was it, was that? I can't remember. But yeah, th there was just a series of sexy thrillers and then that kind of [00:10:00] tweaked into it being more of the murdery aspect than the sexy aspect. And that's where you start getting into Seven and taking lives and suspect zero. And all these like gritty crime thrillers, I feel are definitely a bastard child of the sexy thriller. Thandi: But you know, the sexy thriller was, it was cheap to make, so it dominated like the nineties. It was this sexy thriller in courtroom dramas and just stuff that you didn't have to spend a whole lot of money on. Sets or places that weren't just people's houses or, yeah it was a good time in cinema because the focus wasn't on the spectacle. You had some interesting scripts and some interesting characters, Hobbit: And that's why I'm interested to see what we're exactly gonna do with this. We, if you didn't listen to the last episode, we have tweaked to the format a little bit where instead of four different takes of the movie we're talking about, one of us gets the re reboot or remake version thing that we think might actually be the best bet. For the film and one of us gets the remix version, the [00:11:00] wackadoo, weird, fully out of the box. Take on this. Sometimes those two versions are actually pretty close as far as whether or not we wanna see these versions or not. And sometimes they're wildly different, but you get the real take Thandi: I got the real. Hobbit: So I'm interested to see if you're going with that sexy thriller vibe. If you're trying to go more modern. Take what are we doing? Thandi: So I am going full on sexy thriller. And with that as a thing, I had to find something to latch onto to make it interesting. So something that I noticed in Fatal Instinct, or sorry, fatal Attraction, haha, is that they were really casually racist. A couple times making fun of Asian people, cuz that's the race that was in the movie. But and then in addition to that, I watched this other thriller that was from the affair thriller that was from the early seventies called play Misty For me, Hobbit: Yeah. Thandi: really, it wasn't racist at all, but [00:12:00] it had some really interesting relations to others in the movie because it was. Early seventies, so they were like, oh, let's put all these people in the movie. But they weren't people, they were like set dressing. So it had a black person and another black person and a gay person. But they were just so they could have these things in the movie to be like, oh, what is America's a melting pot? But they weren't important or really part of the movie or addressed as individual beings of, they were just people that were set dressing for the movie. So I wanted to address what race relations are like now with the from the point of view of white affluence, because those are the people that are in the original movie. These affluent white people like living their wonderful lives. So I wanted to have these affluent white people living their wonderful lives, and I wanted to have race as a component that is not directly addressed, but I wanted [00:13:00] to see in real time. Basically having microaggressions, basically being casually racist in a way that people do not like, oh, I hate these people, or whatever. Just the way people do when they're comfortable and intimate. That kind of casual racism. I want to see that throughout the movie, but with it never really being directly addressed, just something that hangs over the movie. So in this modern version, this modern. On fatal Instinct. Dang it. On Fatal Attraction Hobbit: No. Fatal Instinct is a movie and if I remember correctly, Thandi: a parody Hobbit: isn't that like a, it's a parody movie. Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. Thandi: So my director for this version is Michael Moen, who directed the Voyeurs. I don't know if you saw that last year, a really. Hobbit: Oh, okay. I know what you're talking. I hadn't had the chance to see it, but I know what you're Thandi: So it is half of a really good movie. If they had [00:14:00] stopped at the Twist, then it would be a really good movie. But at The Twist, there's like a whole half movie left and it's stupid after that, Hobbit: Oh Thandi: But it's a sexy thriller and I enjoyed that first half of it. So that's the director I'm going for there. And for my story, it's mostly the same beats, but we bring in some things that are a little bit different. So instead of Stuart PanIN being the. We're bringing in Michael Pena as Jimmy the Stewart Pan character, Hobbit: Okay. Thandi: as his wife Hildy. We have Mabel K, who was Noora in Wakanda forever. And their interaction with the couple, the Dan Gallagher and Beth Gallagher, the husband and wife, the lawyer, couple, the lead and his wife. What happens inside the circle of trust, which is the casual racism that happens inside of the circle of trust, but it's not really, it doesn't look like racism because it's inside the circle of trust. [00:15:00] Everybody is accepting of what's going on there. If you watch it from the outs, if you see it from the outside, then it's yucky. It's it's like you hanging out with Steven or me and saying some things that are, it's funny in the moment because it's us, not racism. And not inappropriate in that moment, but if somebody from the outside sees it, it's yucky. I've had this conversation about just being in podcasting. Is that something you have to be considerate of, is who's listening your audience? It's the clarity of message is that there are jokes that, yeah, like you said, we could make with one another because the intention is incredibly clear to one another. Hobbit: We know each other well enough to know where the line is and what is meant by what is Thandi: Yeah, I've had the circle of trust conversation with women where I'm like you, where I've said, where I've said things in front of people that I would say in front of a woman that I'm very close with. That's completely inappropriate to say under that context. And it's just something you have to learn. But we're seeing this as [00:16:00] observers and we're like, eh, and it's just part of the That's something that's happening in modern day with social media, with the. Remote based relationships that we have is people are starting to misunderstand like where that line is as far as comfort level and what you're should be able to say in mixed company versus close Hobbit: That there's some things that you need to change your clarity a little bit depending on your Thandi: Yeah. Every conversation's not for everybody. Hobbit: exactly, that's why you should, there's some places you can't say fuck it work and that's reason. Thandi: Yeah, Hobbit: My job's pretty okay with it, but But for my leads for my affluent white couple, we have Jake Gillen Hall as Dan Gallagher nice. Thandi: as Beth Gallagher we have Bree Larson, and as Alex, we have Lupita Nego, which brings in like just a whole bunch of. Not in your face, [00:17:00] but like implicit racism because Leedia Nigo is the one who Jake Gillen Hall cheats with. I also wanted to change the dynamic of that a little bit, where Jake Gillen Hall is. Not just an innocent dummy. He's actually he's trying to pursue a thing. He's trying to see how long he can make this go, not realizing that this person's crazy and then it's too late. It's not two days. And he is oh, this bitch is crazy. It's like a couple weeks maybe where he is trying to like, oh, I can make this, I can make, I can juggle this, I can make this work. Oh no, she's crazy. and In the scene, like it's gonna have a lot of the same beats. So when the scene, they're gonna sell their, oh, we're gonna try ourselves to sell our house. And when Alex comes to the house and Beth meets Alex, and after Alex leaves and she sees that that Dan, Jake Gillen Hall is very uncomfortable, she's she thinks it's because it's a pretty black girl. She's I know what you did in college. I know that you were into that in college or whatever. And when she's talking about what [00:18:00] he was into in college, he does this. This mock black woman accent, Adam. Hobbit: No. Oh, no Thandi: In inside their home is part of the circle of trust, but stuff that people don't see and you don't really see in movies like that either. But I want to expose that kind of thing, not as not as a pointed part of the movie, just as an uncomfortable background element that goes through the entire. then most of the story beats are going to be the same. Beyond that one thing that I will change is that her parents will be a little bit more involved as affluent whites. And when they find out that Dan has been cheating with this black, this African black woman the level that they're unpleased and the way that they express that is going to be Hobbit: Ooh. Yeah. Oof. A fog. Like a fart in a room. Just hover it in. Thandi: so so because her parents are more intrinsic to the plot there I've casted [00:19:00] them for Beth's mother, I have Michelle Pfeiffer, and for Beth's father, I have John Corbett. And if you don't know who John Corbett is, he was Aiden from Sex in the City. Chris from Northern Exposure, which is how I knew. And then Ian from my big Fat Greek wedding, and he's just a tall, handsome white guy, even it's in the sixties. He's a tall, handsome, white guy. Michelle Pfeiffer is still beautiful and older, and I wanted to like you to see the affluence just as like looking at these people. Oh, affluent whites, so Hobbit: Yeah I love trying to differentiate between being a white myself understanding that I do differentiate myself between that and affluent white, which has a why at the beginning, the white. White. Yeah. That it's a slight different inflection there. That does mean a lot . It does quite a bit. Thandi: And that Hobbit: and in, yeah, that's in the circumstance? Yeah, in the circumstance. I think it's just the idea of [00:20:00] who grew up at a level of maybe income or status that they. Need or maybe desire hung out with non-whites, like actually have experience interacting with people that didn't look exactly like them or have the same experiences as them. And so don't have that like absence of experience that creates awkward social situations on occasion. Just out of. Lack of depth of knowledge of how to act around people, which is literally just like yourself, but don't try to cater to, and then you become more awkward. That's like the white affluence things like in Get Out that I voted for Obama three times. Why was that relevant to this conversation? Like why is that something you just blurred out? Brother, man. Yeah. That If you wanna see a perfect example of this, look at early television interviews [00:21:00] with Quentin Tarantino. When there's a black cast member with him during the interview he starts talking Thandi: starts to code Hobbit: like he, yeah, he code switches my man. Then I might like, he totally changes his inflections and it's jarring like it's so bad. I'm really glad that he got outta the habit. It's really bad. Yeah, it's. So, yeah I love those moments that speak to that. That's great. Thandi: And the uh, the only other thing I want to put in here for that pitch is that I want it to be old school sexy, and I want Jake Gillen Hall to grab two big pans of la Pita NGO's Sweet, juicy can, and focus on that is like an objectification of that sweet, juicy can. Much different than what his wife, Bree Larson has going on. And yeah, just as part of the the underlying discomfort, he's objectifying this big black ass [00:22:00] as part of his thing. But I want very little of it to be spoken out loud. I just want it to be like, felt throughout the. Hobbit: I think that's gonna really translate better anyway than trying to work in dialogue to explain that. No I think showing it is gonna work a lot more effectively For sure. Thandi: And that's the pitch. Hobbit: sweet. I'm into it. It's taking aspects it's almost like an homage to the classy, sexy thriller the classic sexy thriller without trying to re. Modern take with a nice deft handoff from the classics so great into it. I am not doing that. I am being way more overt in the way that I'm approaching not just race, but also otherness, I guess in this conversation. With Fatal Attraction being the starting point I was interested to. Something that was troubling for me with Fatal Attraction [00:23:00] is rooting for anyone. The only innocent here is the wife. Like she, she didn't do anything. She didn't deserve this. She, for everything we've seen in the film, is a devoted and loving wife that appreciates her husband and doesn't try to start fights. Isn't a banshee or terrible or hasn't driven him into the arms of another woman. He's just a scumbag that took advantage of an opportunity. And of course Alex the character Alex is a psychopath. So I wanted to Thandi: She's so Hobbit: to like, change the direction on who we're actually rooting for, have one of the main characters as somebody that we root for. But to do that I had to really just determine what would give us that reason to root for a person. And I think it would be th this idea of otherness. Is discussed a little bit in Fatal Attraction. This is a single woman that is willing to sleep with a married man. And so therefore she's treated as disposable by the married [00:24:00] man and she calls him out and She did make assumptions that weren't there for sure. But what I wanted to do is flip it on its head. Actually, this was inspired by. News about what is it Matt slap the conservative icon that there's reports and text messages that back it up that he apparently groped a man in a car couple years ago and was called out for it. And this is like hard. Yeah. And this is the story he told time and time again. So I thought maybe inspired. Switching the lens that actually Dan Gallagher is a conservative politician Opposed to a lawyer. And his friend Jimmy played by Stewart kin, is actually just his lawyer that works on the campaign and stuff with him. And, Dan is a closeted gay man. He has a wife. Didn't want to put a kid in, in a dangerous position in this situation. So, and also gay man with a beard, they got [00:25:00] a greyhound. So that's crazy was the random person picking your kid up from school scene by the. Yeah, that Talk about a fucking power move. Power move. It was like, your kid is completely safe. Had a great time. Took her on a rollercoaster. She kissed me on the cheek like this. Thandi: But also that's a scene that would never work in modern movies cuz you couldn't get into the school to get somebody's kid just random. Hobbit: Hell, that's one thing that immediately flipped in my brain when that scene came up, is that, how did she just come and grab a kid? It's oh, it's the eighties. That's, yeah. They weren't checking IDs and shit at Thandi: And the kid was like, okay, Hobbit: the kid. The kid being like, come with me. Sure. Great. And the eighties parents just wanted to get rid of their kids, take her great. Thandi: More time to drink for us. Hobbit: Yeah, right. So Dan is a closeted conservative politician. His wife Beth is. It's not openly discussed [00:26:00] between them, but it, she's pretty aware of his proclivities. She just chooses to ignore them. She appreciates the lifestyle that she's been given is completely content to have her own trists outside of the marriage um, and let him have his, and it's just an unspoken kind of thing that they have between the two of them. That the core thing is to make sure that they're not caught. They are seen as a core family value type. Thandi: Hillary and Bill action. Hobbit: A little bit kinda a little bit of that energy. And then we have let's see. The Ellen, yeah the daughter that's a Greyhound, that's just a dog. So instead of picking up the dog from school, it'll be from like the kennel they kept it at while they were out of town, like doing politician stuff. And then took the dog to the dog park, , like doing doggy fun things. Thandi: Who frolics with the side piece in public.  Hobbit: Yeah, that's, ooh, that's rough. So this story is less so about [00:27:00] the cheating aspect and more about the realization that Dan and Alex, I don't even have to change the name for the man that he has a trist with, doesn't realize that Dan is a conservative politician when they have this experience. and it's shortly after this experience when Dan's in town in DC has this tryst, with this dude. He lives nearby, maybe like Baltimore or something, relatively close, but not in DC. And then he sees Dan's face on the TV as he's elected, like he's a, been elected or or his position. That's where Alex decides to have some fun with this man that he had real feelings for and is against. Gay marriage calls it an abomination, gays are grooming that whole fucking party line shit. And it's infuriating. But he also like, still has feelings for him. So it's this confliction. So he's threatening to out him, to tell the press and all this stuff. And he has pictures of them together on his phone and all this stuff. And so Dan is a [00:28:00] mess. This can ruin everything, can ruin his political career ruin this very intentionally curated marriage that he has. Oh, let me name these people. Actually. This is directed by John Cameron Mitchell, Thandi: Who Hobbit: who is best known for headwind in the angry inch. Also the. Movie How to Talk to Girls at Parties, which if you haven't seen, is based on a Neil Gaiman and Short Story, and it's a sci-fi weird piece directed at episode of Glow and a bunch of other TV shows as well. Great director. I really wanted a queer director to speak to, like the experience of this closeting and like this whole story really. And Dan Gallagher is gonna be played by Matt Bomer if you are unfamiliar. He was the super spy in the Chuck TV series. Back in the day. He's was also in Magic Mike one and two he was in the magnificent seven Nice guys boys in the Thandi: Hold on. I thought that Chuck was Shazam. Hobbit: Chuck is Shazam but his college roommate that was the super spy [00:29:00] that is who he gets mistaken for. He he shows up and then gives Chuck the thing or whatever. That's Matt Bomber. He's the smooth spy guy that, yeah, the actual spy. Yeah. . Then we've got Alex. I wanted to really punch the otherness of this story by not just having like a queer actor and visibly not code switching. Very clearly gay, but also I wanted a Latino actor as well, so I went with Wilson Cruz, and if you're unfamiliar, he's in. Star Trek Discovery as one of the doctors. He was in Party Monster as Angel and he was Ricky in my so called Life way back in the day as well. Great actor I think would nail this role as just like a kind of vindictive scorned lover that is trying to get back at this conservative politician that he had a tryst. Thandi: Him being Latino works for that whole kind of [00:30:00] thing too. Hobbit: And just the whole party line in general would be also just another condemning factor, and I want a line like that as it's bad enough that you slept with a man, but he had to be, he had to be Mexican. He's no, he is Puerto Rican, whatever. Just dismissive kind of energy from Beth Gallagher, the wife who's played by Amanda sef. Thandi: Nice. She was actually on my shortlist for wife. Hobbit: yeah, I think she can play like waspy mean affluent white woman very well. And I just, great actress. I think she would have a lot of fun in that role. Jimmy is the lawyer friend that he goes to that has some experience in like family law stuff, and he's Hey, how does this work out? There's no baby nobody's pregnant in this version. It's more about some information about his governmental dealings that he let slip during the tris that he had and how liable he would be if that came out if that was protected in any way. And so he's going to his friend who's played by Jared Carmichael, who I was not very familiar with [00:31:00] until the Golden Globes this last Sunday where he host. and was brilliant wonderful and said super fucking edgy shit that like pissed off a lot of people and have a lot of respect for that. And I would I was like, you know what? You get in my movie cuz you were Thandi: he came out. So I'm sure that he would be all about something, a project like this. Hobbit: absolutely. And he's very funny as well. And I want this, and in that same conversation of otherness is that there's this conserve. Politician that's relying on what he considers a friend is really employee that this black lawyer that is one of the very few people that knows that he's gay because Jared Carmel, Jimmy is also gay and is openly so like it's fine, but it's also like they work together. It's like one of that's the comfortable in the room conversation that this conservative dude feels like he can be. More gay in the room with Jimmy than he could be normally, because that's the [00:32:00] one connecting factor they have with one another, but he's also still racist. So it's like they, they never really get to a point of actually being friends. Cuz Jimmy is like, no, I know you're a racist. We're not friends. It's just I'm not gonna out you because I know how fucked up that is. I'm not gonna do that. So you're safe. But then there's a, the boss. Arthur from the original was played by Fred Gwynne, and I wanted Kyle McLaughlin to play the boss. He actually was in a movie based on tiger King, , Joe versus Carol. He played Howard Baskin in that, and John Cameron Mitchell played Joe Exotic in that movie. So they have a connecting. But the twist, the main twist of this is that at the end or the midway point where in the original he tells his wife that he had an affair, that she's pregnant, that she's stalking him, and it's this whole ordeal. That's the turn where now Dan isn't the [00:33:00] aggressor in trying to get Alex to fuck off. It's the. The wife takes this role of that's the surprise in the story. The twist is that she's known all along, he's gay. She doesn't give a shit. Don't take away my quality of life. Don't ruin this for me. Yeah. And those, so she gets way darker and way more fucked up about trying to get this stranger to leave her family alone. And that's where the, it almost like a tag team in a wrestling ring, like your turn and she goes after him. Thandi: Yeah that's beautiful. And actually I think in a practical marriage of a power couple marriage, I think that's how it works. The face doesn't do the public assaults. It's the other shrew person who actually goes out and takes care of business. Hobbit: Yep. So at the end of it, this is a love affair gone wrong. A conservative politician that is trying to cover their tracks. As a hypocrite, that is what they pretend to stand against. [00:34:00] And a trophy wife, beard wife that is willing to kill to keep her comfort. So I'm loving this. I'm actually, I'm loving this. How does it shake out? It shakes out basically that the final scene in the original movie where she sneaks into the house to to kill them and stuff. It's. It's actually that, oh, how do I put it? The vital proof of their tryst that was on his phone was stolen by the wife and brought back to their house. So Alex isn't going in for revenge, is going in to get their phone that they have the locate feature on, and that's how they find out that it was taken to get their phones. So they have proof to try to blow it all outta the water. That's the way that I'm safe is to. Tell people about this. So then if anything happens to me, they know who to look at. And so then it's the fight to the death in the house. And I don't want this to necessarily be like I think as unfortunate as [00:35:00] it is, cuz we are rooting for Alex at this point. I'm making Alex the person that you want to succeed. I want the reality of the situation to be that's not how it works. And that like during the struggle Alex is killed in their house and they try to play it off as a burglar like somebody that came into the house. Yeah, exactly. And then you throw that otherness around as a final fuck you. At the end of it is that like even after all this shit, you can still just throw out ads, just some Puerto Rican and then the police will be like, yep, that we've heard of that before. And dismiss it is exactly that. Don't look into it that. But I would love to have something at the end where the phone gets into the right hands. So even though Alex dies at the end, the information, the outs, Dan and his wife for being pieces of shit gets recovered and actually gets out or it's alluded to. Thandi: Like the end of the Watchman movie. Hobbit: A similar kind of vibe to it. Yeah, for sure. Thandi: I'm really into that pitch. I like [00:36:00] that. Hobbit: I'm actually really surprised there aren't that many. There, there just aren't that many stories about conservative politicians that are closeted, trying to protect their image. There's just not a lot of that out there. And it's such a every like six months or every year, we have another story of that happening. Thandi: Yeah, I think mostly it's just a tacit agreement because these male sex workers make a lot of money off of these guys and if you're a professional, you keep your secrets. Hobbit: Yeah, fair enough. Yeah. But in the circumstance, I thought about the sex worker ed vibe as well for this, but I wanted it to be genuine, not he fucked me so good. I love him. Now, can I like ? I'll give a, like in, we just saw True Romance recently where Christian Slater. Fucks her so good that she's only three days into being a call girl. And she decides I quit. Let's get married. I didn't want to give the conservative politician that kind of energy at all. But yeah, so that's my version [00:37:00] of fatal Attraction is that the fatality was actually to the person that made the mistake of hooking up with a conservative. Thandi: Which is how that works Hobbit: That's how that works. Yeah. . And also moral of the story is be with somebody that considers you, they're equal. Not somebody that looks down upon your station. Thandi: or is just fetishizing you. Hobbit: Ugh. Yeah. Thandi: was somebody who has not worked through their own issues. Ugh. Hobbit: Ugh. Thandi: I guess if that was the thing, we'd never, none of us would ever be with anybody. Hobbit: Or for clarification, or is working through their own issues. Like it's a constant, continual process. But yeah, you gotta put the work in though. So great. Yeah, I think these are both really actually possible versions of this. Mine is almost not fatal attraction anymore, but it's still hitting those main beats. It's like the dawn of the dead remake. The only thing that, the only thing there is the mall is Thandi: For the fun pitches inspired by is what we're [00:38:00] going for, just generally. Hobbit: Yeah. Let's, if we got just a little bit left, we're talking about our trailers that we gotta do now. So yeah I actually wrote out my trailer this time, Thandi: I did not. So we'll Hobbit: Oh, nice. Nice little flip here. Okay, let me get us queued up here. We decided we're gonna use the same track for both of ours cuz it's a perfect, like sexy thriller back backtrack here. Here we go. Tandy, with your version of Fatal Attract. Thandi: Happy wife, happy life, but he's gotta have it. Lawyer Dan Gallagher, played by Jake Gillen Hole has everything except that. Sweet. Sweet. Can he craves. So he meets Alex Force, played by Lapita Nego, and ruins his own life. Join Bree Larson as his wife, Beth Gallagher, Michael Pena as his buddy Jimmy, and as best mother and father, Michelle Pfeiffer and John Corbett as they [00:39:00] try to navigate a crushing affair. He gave it all up for the nookie that sweet nookie. And it will destroy him unless it destroys her. First, it's Michael Moens, fatal Attraction. She will not be ignored. Hobbit: Yes. Excellent. . All right. Let's see how much I can screw up mine here. So I'm using the same backing track. I tried to use some punning in here so I apologize and ahead of time for how stupid it Thandi: Make it fun. Hobbit: Woo. this is definitely a more fun version with John Cameron Mitchell at the helm. You can't help but have it a little bit more. Ridiculous and big and a little silly. So here we go, man. Lives by the rule of law and his own morality. This March, Dan Gallagher wrestles with both as he [00:40:00] tastes forbidden fruit. Little did he know this fruit bites back with his political career on the line. Dan will do anything to stop this fatal attraction starring Matt Bomber Wilson Cruz and Amanda Seyfried. Thandi: So, so was the the double entendre Attentional or Hobbit: Yeah. Th this fruit bite's back definitely was part of it, and I was like sitting there being like, ah, it's a lot. No, I, it's the self ownership, it's like I'm allowed to say it like it's okay.  Thandi: It's awesome. Hobbit: Cool. So yeah, this is this is. Really fun take on Fatal Attraction. I appreciate all the listeners for sticking around for it. Two episodes in a row. Who knew we'd be capable of Thandi: a possible thing. Yes. Hobbit: Yes. We'll be trying to make it a threepeat here next week with another episode of smack My Pitch Up. Thandi, thank you so much again for joining me on this fucking escapade. Here Thandi: thank you, sir. Hobbit: Make [00:41:00] sure to rate reviews, subscribe all the things you do for podcasts. Check us out at GUIpodcast.com for links to our social media and other shows on the network. You can hear coming I believe last week as of when this drops the final regular release of Geeks under the Influence we'll have dropped. And yeah, that's gonna be a tear jerker for sure. And a lot of drunken revelry as well, so Thandi: Yeah. Yeah. But you know, Bigger and better things. Bigger Hobbit: There's a whole lot Thandi: everybody's still here. We're all still playing. Hobbit: also playing and there will be occasional releases on the main feed. Still that's not, we're gonna every so often meet up and have our hahas. And and do a little like free play or something or special event kind of thing. So definitely keep, subscribe to that mainstream as well. But yeah, also check out TeePublic for the new smack. My pitch up design or newish smack my pitch up design. The lethal weapon inspired design with Thandi and I  Thandi: look great.[00:42:00]  Hobbit: That's a fun design. I'm really happy how that turned Thandi: pretty inspired. Hobbit: So, so inspiring that you almost didn't get into an amusement park with it. Thandi: Yeah it's Danny Glover. Don't you recognize Danny Glover? Yeah. Hobbit: I wish I was a fly on the wall to hear this. The reasoning with the security that it's just a picture of a gun on a shirt. It doesn't mean that you're like aggressing Thandi: I had to pitch the show. I had to pitch our show to the people at the amusement park. I pitched it well enough. They let me in. So Hobbit: pull it up on Spotify. No, see it's real. It's right here. Oh, that's so Thandi: I don't get it. Hobbit: So, yeah, you try your hand at getting into an amusement park with our shirt and let us know how it turns out. Pitch smacked on social medias for the most part, hashtag us pitch smacked, and we'll see you next time. I'm Mike the Hobbit, Thandi: and I'm Thandi. Hobbit: and you just got your pitches smacked all up and Thandi: It's a swing and a pitch and it's smacked out of the park. Hobbit: Well done. Well done.

43m
Feb 10, 2023
The Rock: Jared Leto Ripped In Half

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 93 - The Rock: Jared Leto Ripped In Half Hobbit and Thandi are finally back! They head to Alcatraz Island to remake and reimagine the 1996 Michael Bay action extravaganza, The Rock Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Assasins" and "Bustin Loose" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com/) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries   Transcript: SMPU - THE ROCK [00:00:00]  HOBBIT: [00:01:00] Hello geeks and welcome to a long overdue episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the show that reboots, remakes, reimagine sequels, sidequels and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television, and what have you. And Thandi we're back. THANDI: We're Beck, Winick. HOBBIT: Yay. THANDI: Ha ha. HOBBIT: Thank you so much to our longtime listeners for being patient with us.  There's been a lot of moving and shaken going on over at the network   And also figuring out how to get all the stuff we're doing to fit and so we can be more consistent with our releases.   And so for this episode, this is a slight tweak on our previous format   That's gonna make this a much tighter show   Which allows us to record more consistently. So hopefully moving forward, we're gonna have like weekly releases for you of this THANDI: that's a good. HOBBIT: It is a great thing. So   This show previously was around an hour or two, an hour 15.   We are shortening that by one of us each week doing a real take on the remake   [00:02:00] And one of us doing the remix, weirdo outside the box, take on it. So we're just, instead of four versions of the same movie, we're taking it down to two. So it's a lot more manageable, I think, honestly, it's gonna be a more fun show to have it a little bit tighter like that. THANDI: Yeah, because everybody likes it  HOBBIT: tight. Yeah. And speaking of tight   We are going into a tight action   Comedy. I mean THANDI: Yeah, but only an action comedy in the vein of the idea that all nineties movies fall into this genre. HOBBIT: when Sean Connery goes was it, losers? Think about  THANDI: go home and to fuck the prom queen or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean Connery is just rubbing his balls all over this movie, just spreading his musk HOBBIT:  No fucks given whatsoever. He's not doing a bad job, it's just that he's clearly not taking this seriously. THANDI: No, he has exactly the right tone for what that movie is. I would say that As [00:03:00] an understated for him character, it's Nick Cage that could bring it up a notch and he's still perfect. The movie for what it is, for the time in which it came out and what it does in cinema, is pretty much perfect. But yeah, the Nick Cage we know is really understated in the rock. HOBBIT: Definitely and that is the movie. About this week, the Rock, the Michael Bay, 1996, I wanna say film who by the way, pitch smacked on Twitter and Facebook. If you want to interact with us on the social medias tell us what we're doing wrong or how you like the new format or what we're doing right. I would like that as well. THANDI: Or not you like the silky sound of our voices. HOBBIT: Dulcet tones, THANDI: Our dulcet tones sweet caramel HOBBIT: Oozing all over Nicholas Cage. Usually the rock. It is a pure example of what Michael Bay is good at, which is just making really dumb, [00:04:00] really straightforward, blow 'em up action adventure movies. THANDI: Ridiculous nonsense, spectacle. You know, the, the Rock is even though it's an early Michael Bay movie, it's super indicative of his style, which is like quick cuts and like no sense of spatial geography, shit's all over the place. It could be taking place on the ceiling or like, I don't know, in Hong Kong and then California and then New York. It could be anywhere, but you don't care because it's about the energy of the scene. HOBBIT: and there's plenty of energy in this while since I've seen The Rock. It surprised me how many very well known actors have like very brief roles in this You've got the Candy Mane himself, Tony Todd that's in like two scenes, THANDI: Yeah. He is one of the, the Marine guys, one of the military. HOBBIT: and he is got just one real scene that he has where he is like talking about how we're not, this isn't a threat. We will do this. We will blow up a bunch of people, and that's his main moment in the. Fucking [00:05:00] Candyman gets maybe 45 seconds of screen time in this movie. THANDI: Yep. At random Bokeem Woodbine  HOBBIT: right. I didn't even realize he was in this movie until about three quarters of the way through watching it, and then he just pops up randomly.  You've got, of course, there's Michael Bean dying almost immediately as, as he's wants to THANDI: Yeah. As soon as they do the incursion, boom, gone David Morse, who I actually knew David Morse from St. Elsewhere, cuz that's how old I am. David Morse is just, yeah, just in that piece. HOBBIT: And he has a little bit more time on screen, but not still, not much. I mean, he's not doing a ton. John Spencer as a director of Womack. Is a relatively well-known actor as well and he may have been in there for a day because most of his role was just looking at a screen and going, no THANDI: Yeah. William Forsyth. HOBBIT: William Forsyth. Yeah. Yeah. THANDI: Yeah. There, there's a lot of big names, but like for the John c McGinley. HOBBIT: that's, he was in like two seconds of it as like the [00:06:00] weird gadget guy, which becomes a trope in a lot of other Michael Bay movies is the guy that makes. Contraptions and shit, but he does one and it doesn't even really pay off THANDI: Yeah. HOBBIT: He like THANDI: But he's in there, HOBBIT: yeah. THANDI: just, just nineties guys. It's, it's these actors that we're all like, oh, I, I know this guy so well. It's because it's 30 years later and yeah. They've had long and storied careers at this point. HOBBIT: As much as this is pretty straight ahead, there's no. Surprises really in this movie, it's still an enjoyable ride. You've got the cheesy one-liners throughout you've got big blow 'em up action, shoot 'em up sequences. Going through the sewers and stuff of Alcatraz, I didn't realize that Alcatraz was built on a underground mining roller coaster. But I didn't like I'll  THANDI: fun nineties movie without a fun underground nineties  HOBBIT: rollercoaster Okay, well this could be mashed up with Temple of Doom if tracks were long enough. You know, what the [00:07:00] fuck? I forgot about that completely. And then that started happening. What were they making the prisoners do on Alcatraz? There's caverns, there's THANDI: why are there random spinning blades of doom? Because there are, HOBBIT: I can just imagine Alcatraz when it was working that there's people in the mines of Alcatraz. THANDI: see, I think maybe it was just an amusement park. That's how they were paying for the prison. They had an amusement park that went underneath the prison. HOBBIT: The most terrifying amusement park you can think of. Come on, get on the ride. Little kid THANDI: You took a wrong turn to coaster and now you're getting molested. HOBBIT: This ride's called the Birdman of Alcatraz, where we just launch you via slingshot into the ocean. Yeah. There, there's so much nonsense. But the thing is like, you're not supposed to care. Like you, you're, THANDI: No you're not. Not for Eddie. Michael Bay HOBBIT: No, you cannot examine a Michael Bay movie with any level of seriousness because it'll just completely fall apart if you do. Physics don't really matter. Yeah, like you said, directions don't matter. You, you would not be able [00:08:00] to map out Alcatraz by this movie by any THANDI: Yeah, because Michael Bay is selling a feeling. He's not selling a narrative. He's selling a feeling. He wants you to feel the energy of the scenes that he's strung together, seemingly haphazardly, and he's successful at that. HOBBIT: The one thing that is different in this movie Ver versus a lot of his other films, is there's like this low, sometimes not so low key like hyper nationalism that really peppers in through a lot of his films. And in this film, it's highly critical of the American government. THANDI: how they've abandoned their soldiers. HOBBIT: Yeah, and it's on all ends. You've got the I imprisoned without a trial. British spy. You've got the soldiers that are fighting for, you know, for basically benefits for the fallen soldiers. Nobody thinks the government's doing a good job. And then you've got, you know, the, the director Womack, that is a piece of shit, clearly and everybody knows he is a piece of shit like. Nicholas Cage, who is a straight laced by the rule book guy, by the end of it is just [00:09:00] like, I don't know, like fuck this guy. He was vaporized just totally down to lie to the government by the end of it. THANDI: y you know, Nick or Michael Bay's real thing is just he, he is, his main interest is the guys who do the work. So generally just it's, it's not the guys in the chair, it's the guys who do the work. And that's his love of soldiers too. Those are the guys out in the field who do the work. So he feels that they deserve the respect. And that's, that's true through all his movies. It's the guys who actually are out in the field getting their hands dirty. That's who Michael Bay celebrates. HOBBIT: And that's definitely the case in this movie. I guess we're about ready to like dive in. I drew the straw of the real take for this version of the Rock. So I'm THANDI: Real take. HOBBIT: the real take real take being what we think might actually work. For a remake or reimagining of the rock. And for this, because it's so straight ahead, there's a lot of d different directions you can take this, [00:10:00] but I thought it being a fun action movie. I wanted to kind of continue in that spirit, but maybe add a little bit more social commentary or subtext underneath that classic action like vibe. Is this conversation about the government and how people react to a crooked government.  There are people that fight it like straight up 60 style or, you know, being held without parole and like, you know, trying to fight the system by exposing their secrets kind of thing, which is Sean Connery's character. Then you've got the hyper militarized you know, mercenaries that take over Alcatraz that are gonna do it by any means necessary. But then you see the infighting on what level they're willing to take it within those mercenaries. You've got Nicholas Cage who ends up being kind of like the soldier that turns to help the common man by the end of it. There's, there's a lot of different ways people deal with the, the crookedness of the government in this, in this film. And I thought putting a modern lens on it by having those soldiers come [00:11:00] imitating what we've seen in real life with the right wingers that took over the. Was it Yellowstone Park or what was the park system that they took over back Oh, the the cattle The cattle guys having a little bit of that as the aspect, so it's not just about soldiers. I think focusing on like va something that a lot of people have more experience with that the veterans affairs in this country are miserable. The soldiers that have have not lost their life, lost limb, or their health, their, their mental. That aren't getting the support that they need. So having maybe a collection of soldiers that are retired that are dealing with VA stuff and being like, this is, this isn't, you know, cool. And following that same kind of path that Ed Harris's character did Francis Hummel in the, in the original, but it being more about taking care of the soldiers that are still around, you know, it's be, it's them and their friends that are, you know, missing limbs and then you can have. A little bit more [00:12:00] empathy for these soldiers. As you see, they're all old guys that some of them might have a prosthetic leg or, you know, that these, these are like former soldiers that have been beaten and hurt that are just trying to get what they're due. And so there's. They're the bad guy, quote unquote, but not really, you know? And I really wanted to embolden that in the story a little bit more. It wasn't really pushed on too much. Ed Harris ended up being the only good soldier guy at the end because he wasn't willing to kill 70,000 people. , like that was his line. I thought it'd be a, I think a more complicated win in this movie if this soldiers like you, kind of were rooting for them. They're going about things the wrong way for sure. In this case, it's not gonna be like a rocket full of vaporized, you know aerosol. THANDI: kill gas or. HOBBIT: yeah, I think something more simple of just like having an arsenal within range of a major city is enough. You don't have to make it [00:13:00] super sci-fi fancy stuff. Just, THANDI: But nineties HOBBIT: the nineties, right? Alcatraz. It's called the Rock. You have to have it take place on Alcatraz. That's. But I did want to have that conversation about, you know, when crooked people earlier in charge, they even the most righteous of people, end up be at odds with each other instead of the real enemy because you know of who's calling the shots. And that being the tragic underpinning of this story is that everybody's trying to do the right thing, and because they're trying to do the right thing, they end up fighting against each other instead of the person that's really pulling strings. So then the conclusion of getting the microfilm the micro fiche and that being leaked to the press at the end, you know, that's one thing that they didn't want Mason or Connery's character out for.  They didn't want him out because they didn't want these secrets. Stanley Nicholas Cage's character helps get that information out. You know, it ends up like at the [00:14:00] same, at the end of the first Black Panther where it's not the version that kil monger wanted of domination. But there is, now Wakanda is now part of the world. There is some truth to what, the bad guy was fighting for veteran affairs gets some of its money. You know, the, the, like, some of it goes through. and and THANDI: then everybody gets to know who actually killed J.F.K. HOBBIT: The bad guys kind of win, but not really, you know, it, it's a, it's just a bittersweet conversation about figuring out that sometimes the enemy isn't your enemy. I, I would love that to be kinda the undertone, but that not being, I mean, it, it's still at the end of the day, a fucking action movie. And and you want big blow ups and you want, you know, everybody knows kung Fu. And everybody shoots guns really good. And I think for this, I really needed to get David Leach in there for it.  It seemed like a no-brainer brainer. He was one of the directors of the first John Wick. He went on to do Atomic Blonde, Deadpool [00:15:00] two, Hobbs and Shaw and Bullet Train most recently. He has that right balance of being able to do great action sequences, but also having time for the characters. Do some yuck yucks in between and have character development and dialogue. So I thought that that was a really good fit for a remake of The Rock was to  THANDI: I, I think that would work very well actually. Having seen bullet train recently, I think that's a that's a fun tone to play with in the modern time in general. HOBBIT: absolutely. And when Bullet Train very much feels like almost a sendup of nineties action to a degree, it has that like silly. Action kind of vibe to it. So if, if that was applied to a remake of the Rock, I think in a modern take, I think it would fit really, really well. And then you get to play with all the people that David Leach has played with in the past that reappear and du cameos and stuff. So we've got like General Francis Hummel Ed Harris' character. I thought Idris Elba would be [00:16:00] incredible in that role. He was, he was. THANDI: we're canceling the  HOBBIT: apocalypse. Yes, the black Superman of Hobbs and Shaw coming out and being just like a, a wounded warrior, a a hardened soldier that wants what's due to him and his brothers just makes I wanna see that. I think that would be, and he would probably play it completely straight, like no winks of the camera, overdoing it, which would make all the zaniness around him that much more fun. He is the moral of the story character, you know, so, so him playing it straight, that gives that underpinning some weight while still everybody else is able to yak. Can he smack do around him? THANDI: Oh, definitely. And most importantly, as Hummel, he has gravity. HOBBIT: Yeah,  THANDI: So if you're doing a serious Hummel, Idris Elba has gravity, HOBBIT: and I think, yeah, if we can get him to say, cancel the apocalypse at some point like that, that would be gr I'd be super down for that. I'm wondering how often that gets asked on set of something and it was like, you know, we are not for filming, but just for us, can you just say canceling the [00:17:00] apocalypse? He was THANDI: your pocalypse, HOBBIT: like, okay, cool. For wire season three, you know, what's, what's happening 20 years later, let's cancel the apocalypse. THANDI: but, but can you do it in like your British accent? Not the wire accent, but like your British one. Just break into it. HOBBIT: Yeah. The joys of fame is that everybody has that one line that people want them to say. So yeah, we've got Edris Alba as Francis hum. The FBI director Womack. I thought it would be fun. She is in Hobbs and Shaw, but is also she has that she could play like hard line in power person. Really. Well get Helen Miron to come in and play, play Womack. I mean, I don't feel like I even need to explain that she, I mean I had to actually double check and make sure she did a proper American accent before, cuz I THANDI: does she? Has she done a proper American accent in something? HOBBIT: actually in the, the Yellowstone series or the, the prequel series that they have out with like a, a like old, like Dutch, Midwestern kind of accent.  But [00:18:00] she's also been in a couple other roles within American accent and Sounds American. Sounds fine. So I just, I, I couldn't see the FBI director having a British accent. I felt like that was maybe a bridge too far.  THANDI: Well, they're actors. They're, they're prof, they're professional actors. British actors are trained to take on those voices so they can really do just about anything. HOBBIT: and British actors classically are pretty good at doing the American accent, so I wasn't that worried, but I just, I couldn't remember her having to do an American accent before, so I just had to check. But yeah, no, she's, she's fine. She's good with that. Then we've got Stanley good speed. I went through a couple. Choices for this one because it's Nicholas fucking cage. Like there is no way they can do Nicholas Cage. So didn't want somebody to do a version of him, but I wanted to do proper justice to the character who, he's a lab geek that gets put out in the world to like, on, on, to deal with this situation. So he is awkward. He doesn't come off as a badass at all. He's kind of [00:19:00] gawky. But I also needed an actor that would be able to do some of the action sequence stuff while still seeming gawky. And I thought that Andrew Garfield would be really fun in that role as the really nerdy lab guy that really likes toxins and stuff and, THANDI: You know, he works really well. Like when, when I originally, cuz behind the scenes, we actually planned the show a while ago. It didn't come together and now it's coming together again. So when I planned my series pitch, I had Nicholas Holt as an idea HOBBIT: I thought about him as well. Yeah, THANDI: and LA Keith Stanfield, which we use all the HOBBIT: all the, well, cuz he's so good. THANDI: Yeah. But yeah, Andrew Garfield is a great choice. And it, and it, I just, it never came to me that, that would. , but yeah, that's a great choice. HOBBIT: And what's funny is I'm now seeing like the, the trajectory between like Nicholas Holt, LA Keith Stanfield and Andrew Garfield as like a certain type of archetype character. You know, like you, you'd just taking it out of the Hot Wheels play set and putting , putting [00:20:00] it in. But yeah, Andrew Garfield, I think he would have a lot of fun in that role. He'd be able to ad lib a little bit put. Charm, like goofy charm to the character that I think would play off of our mason character. John, John Patrick Mason. Played by Sean Connery relatively well. I wanna see this buddy team up. Is you get and I checked ages and this actor is only like five or six years younger than Sean Connery was when he played this role in the rock.  Get Keanu Reeves to be John Patrick Mason. You just let him get a little bit more grizzled, you know, let that pepper and that beard really kind of shine a little bit more. And then you've got Andrew Garfield and Keanu Reeves, like kicking ass on Alcatraz. THANDI: does this version of Mason rub his balls on everything? Because that's not usually Keanu's Mo is, is he a, like a, a different kind of Mason? HOBBIT: Yeah. He's not gonna be quite as like, fuck this, fuck that kinda attitude so much as more a little more stoic with his, but as. [00:21:00] Time goes on. He has almost like a maybe older brother kind of energy that he starts developing for Andrew Garfield, where like, he, he realizes that Andrew Garfield isn't the enemy. You know, he may work for the government, but he's just a lab geek that that was where he had to go for his lab geekery. You know, he's, he's not, he's not the guy that's, you know, greedy and trying to take over the world kind of energy. He's just a genuinely good. So he becomes protective of him and kind of lets down his, his emotional guard a little bit more around Andrew Garfield specifically. So you have this like, balance of them having private moments where they share stuff about their lives and about like, can or about Mason's, you know, daughter that he wants to spend more time with. And then he goes out and just breaks fucking bad, super hard as only Kiana Reeves can. And I wanna see that, that shift in energy I think would be really. Then we've got, I, I only did five castings, cuz you've got like the, you've got the daughter, but she's in [00:22:00] one scene. It doesn't really matter. You've got a couple of the other soldiers that I could have cast. But, but I just figured stick to the main main ones. Carla Pelosi Stanley's, I guess fiance at this point is played additionally by Vanessa Marce. I wanted somebody that was like traditionally stunning, but had a little bit of that, alt hotness to her as well for, THANDI: she from? HOBBIT: oh, Vanessa Marci, the original actress that played, played the role. She was in the original of The Rock. Yeah Carla Pelosi is the character I wanted for somebody to, to pair with Andrew Garfield. I wanted to have kind of like somebody with kind of like an alternative edge to. , but still a classically just a, a beautiful, you know, woman. So one of my probably top five crushes zzz, he beats in there. I think would be really fun. It's just like the take no shit fiance. No, I'm coming to San Francisco anyway. Fuck you like kind [00:23:00] of energy THANDI: Yeah, she's great. And you're right, she is she's a beautiful woman, but she does have kind of an alt energy. Yeah, that works. HOBBIT: So, yeah, and I think I, for some reason, I could see her kind of being into the, like lanky, gawky, Andrew Garfield type, you know, person like Andrew Garfield's, not a bad looking dude, but he does have the like classic big Adams, apple, long limb kind of thing going for him. So, THANDI: the, the, the body that Mace girls say, ah, I bet he's got a big dick HOBBIT: So that's my casting. I think. Yeah, David Leach would have a ball doing a version of the Rock. Where, the government ends up being the loser at the end of the day, but only kind of, they're still in charge. This isn't one of those movies I feel like is beholden, like everybody loves it, but it's not untouchable. THANDI: So I think for what the Rock is and if you love The Rock, so I don't have any Michael Bay movies that I hold as sacred, but I think that The Rock is a really solid, almost perfect example of a [00:24:00] nineties movie. So there are people, I can understand why there are people that are like, the rock is untouchable, cuz there are people out there that are like, yeah, the Rock is untouchable HOBBIT: I don't know. I feel that if you're looking at Michael Bay movies, that would be untouchable. First you'd have to go with ones that you know are original concepts. So a very small number of movies there. I'd say Bad Boys before the Rock. THANDI: really. HOBBIT: Yeah. I mean, I feel like there's probably more people that are like beholden to bad boys. You can't do a bad boys with anybody, but Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, there would be a lot more pushback for I think bad boys than there would be for the Rock. THANDI: Yeah. Yeah, I guess I don't like the trajectory of the bad boys films. I don't like what that feel like. They did Martin Lawrence dirty over the course of time, kind of don't like the bad boys  HOBBIT: I loved the first one. Second one was so, so, although I hear a lot of people say they like the second one better, but I never bothered with bad boys for life. It looked like garbage from the trailer. I didn't want to Sully.  THANDI: It was the last one I saw in the air of Covid, [00:25:00] so it was the last time I went to the movies for like a year and a half or something. Oh no. Yeah. ending strong. Yeah. Yeah, it sucked. People love that movie. People really enjoy that movie, but it sucked. Oh yeah, no, I didn't have any interest, but luckily Michael Bay does not have his hands all over this next version of the Rock that we are gonna be delivering to us. Unless he did, unless you want to give him another shot. But I'm intrigued. This can go so many ways, so I'm, I'm intrigued to see where he went with this. So my swing for the fences take is something that I actually, I had mentioned before, which is the rock. Starring The Rock HOBBIT: Yeah. Yep. Has to. THANDI: And what I'm going for with this take is a it's also a dark action comedy cuz that's kind of what's popular, but also it, it, you know, it's entertaining. It's like generally entertaining in the [00:26:00] modern time. People like action, but they're a little bit depressed, so they're a little bit yeah, they, they, they just like that take on things, not so straightforward, dark action comedy. And I'm going for something indicative of J C V D. I don't know if you remember that movie HOBBIT: I loved that movie. THANDI: or like, it's a deconstruction of John Claude Van Damme. It's not a comedy at all. It's very serious cuz and this character's depressed through the whole thing. But yeah, it's, it's a, it's kind of a deconstruction of the rock starring the. HOBBIT: I remember J C V D, it was a great movie. Very much enjoyed it. And then there's this moment. That is unnecessarily artistic in a, in a good way when he floats up to the ceiling and then back down, he's talking about how the trajectory of his career got sullied with women and drugs and it's being pretty clearly serious about Jean Claude Van Dam in that moment. And I was just not ready for that. I was just a fun kind of play on his life and then all of a sudden there's this [00:27:00] really real moment in it that just took me off guard. It was great. I, I. THANDI: And the idea of he is not so self serious that he can actually do a movie like this. You'd never see Steven Sagal doing anything like that. HOBBIT: No. . No. Never, never. THANDI: in a million years. But the Rock starring the rock takes place on a movie set, which happens to be Alcatraz. They are filming Stanley. Good speed. Stanley the Rock. Good speed. Cuz that's the, the actor that is, that the Rock is playing as himself. Being himself is filming actually a historical movie on Alcatraz Island that is about the Native American occupation of the 1960. Where people just took over the island for 19 months and said, this is our homeland, or whatever, and it went really badly. But that's what the movie's about. And he's filming this movie with his opposite in the movie is Jared Leto. is ? Who's playing [00:28:00] actor? Frank Hummel, actor Frank Hummel is also a cult leader actor. Frank Hummel's cult has decided to take over the island. It was all planned from the beginning before they start filming the movie HOBBIT: Oh my God. THANDI: Yeah. Nice little touch there. Is that Frank Hummel is in a band called where did I put that? Oh mercurial Skid is the name of the band he leads. You get, you can see a little retrospective of his, of their careers before the the movie starts. And so he takes over the island. There are families on the island because not normally, but today some of the cast and crew are able to bring their families to the filming. So it becomes a dangerous situation. What happens is that there are arms on the island because they are doing a dramatic recreation of that occupation. So they're using these guns, but there were not supposed to be any live round. What Jared Leto's character did was have his people bring in live rounds [00:29:00] so they could use those guns to take over the island. And so now there's a dangerous situation and they're playing basically mouse maze through the Alcatraz prison itself as they try to both Dodge Leto and catch up to Leto and the, HOBBIT: This is already a better, this is already a better movie than the Rock, like this is already, I've already sold at this point. This is fantastic. THANDI: So the Sean Connery character is actually one of the consultants that's working the movie. He used to be an SAS guy, and he's, he's gruff and he's kind of Like, I wanna call him evil. He's not evil, but he's got like a sadistic kind of sensibility where he's having fun during this thing cuz he is ready to fuck some people up. And basically he's paired up with the rock in this situation and the movie's about the rock, trying to maintain his image through this entire situation and not going like full the [00:30:00] movie rock in real life. He's, he doesn't wanna hurt. Not because he doesn't wanna hurt anybody. He doesn't want to damage his brand by hurting people. And so throughout the movie, Daniel Craig becomes the devil on the rock shoulder trying to like coax him more and more and to get in his hands dirty. And so you've got the rock kind of fucking up people like more and more throughout the movie. And Daniel Craig is actually shooting people, but he's trying to get the rock to his level basically, as the movie moves on. There are actors who are playing, the actors that are in the movie, who are part of JaredLeto's cult who represent like the Marines in the original movie. So we have miles Teller as the David Morse character Tom Baxter. And then for the other followers that are in this movie, we have John Boyega and Zach Efron.  Bokeem Woodbine. Cuz I always like to bring somebody. HOBBIT: Yeah. Yeah. Absolut. THANDI: Anthony Ramos who people might know from [00:31:00] what's the the president the guy who rap sings Hamilton. HOBBIT: Lin Manuel Miranda, like, THANDI: So Anthony Ramos was in Hamilton HOBBIT: Okay. THANDI: and he was also in the other musical from last year Dancing musical about the neighborhood HOBBIT: Oh in the  THANDI: Heights Something Heights. In The Heights. HOBBIT: Yes. THANDI: That's Anthony HOBBIT: Oh, Anthony, I know exactly who you're talking about now. Yeah, absolutely. THANDI: I first encountered him in and she's Gotta Have It, which was a remake of Spike Lee's movie as a TV show on like Netflix And then I wanted to add, since this is not actually a prison and it's a movie, I wanted to add a female follower, so Leslie Jones, HOBBIT: Oh. THANDI: but as it's a violent action comedy, this Leslie Jones is not just doing her Leslie Jones thing. She's actually mean. She's actually fucking up people. HOBBIT: was about to say, you have to have her being one of the most violent, like most aggressive. THANDI: Yeah. She's a monster. And then I wanted a kid [00:32:00] in danger. And I could not find a kid actor who was born before or after like 2011. So I settled on Cade Woodward, who was the kid who died in a quiet place, but the kid's like 15 years old or something. It's, it's so hard, like, it's so hard unless you watch a lot of TV to identify actual child actors. HOBBIT: tell you the little bit of the inside baseball of this show is there's some movies that we have not done because there's too many kids in it. Like finding kid actors that are  identifiable where it's actually fun to talk about is really hard. THANDI: Because that's not where the Zeit guy stands for movies now. It has been in the past, but it's not there right now. HOBBIT: And also us as men in our forties probably shouldn't have a Rolodex of information about young children, actors. It's not, not really our it's not our specialty that, that it's not our career path. So we should probably THANDI: Yeah, and I don't, I don't think that like Teen Disney and [00:33:00] Nickelodeon are doing like tween sitcoms anymore either. I don't think that's like a, a farming ground for that kind of stuff anymore. So it's just hard to know these people. HOBBIT: So now THANDI: yeah, there's a little kid in there. HOBBIT: things are all the stranger things, kids are all in their THANDI: They're all like 20 HOBBIT: So, THANDI: But yeah, there's a little kid in there who the rock meets early in the movie, Hey, you're here with your parents. Hi. It's great. I wanna be just like you, Stanley, the rock could speed or whatever. And then that kid is in danger at the end of the movie, which is the apotheosis. Where we have at, this is ridiculous on the face of it, but basically we established early on that Jared Leto's character is a martial arts master, as like an ultimate badass. He's like kicking people's ass throughout the movie or whatever. But by the end of the movie, the apotheosis is basically the rock's. Like, all right, I gotta save this kid. Fuck it. And there's no big fight. It's the Rock decides that he's going to save this kid. And he kills Jared Leno. [00:34:00] He breaks him like Bain immediately. HOBBIT: like right off. THANDI: Yeah, he just immediately breaks him. Daniel Craig, his character actually takes the rap for it cuz he is just happy that he got the Rock to do this crazy thing. HOBBIT: Sure. THANDI: And  HOBBIT: I can see this too, of there being some long diatribe that Jared Leno's doing is he pulling his white robe off and exposing like 18 abs. THANDI: his his his skinny guy muscles, HOBBIT: And he's, walking, like looking away from the rock as he is delivering like all this, you know, the power that I have from within and all this shit. And he turned around and then just screams that like high pitched girl scream as he just gets ripped in half. THANDI: and half. That's what I want to see. HOBBIT: Yes please. You know how cathartic that's gonna be for some people to just see Jared Leto ripped in half. THANDI: Oh, so many people would HOBBIT: so many people would go to the movie just for that. I think. THANDI: because at this point, the the, the zeitgeist is such that regular people just don't like Jared Leto. They don't know why. They just know that people don't like Jared Leto and they don't like him either. But I have a few more actors. HOBBIT: Okay. THANDI: David Harbor is [00:35:00] the FBI Director HOBBIT: Nice. Okay. THANDI: Sophia Vigara is Carla. HOBBIT: Nice. THANDI: And John Cho is the FBI special agent in charge. We do get a cameo from the president. It's not a big enough situation that it needs to like cut back to the president over and over again or whatever, but Sam Jackson is the president. HOBBIT: Nice. Hell yeah. I was thinking THANDI: love Sam Jackson HOBBIT: I was thinking about cameos and I just didn't know where to play with some, but clearly with David Leach there'd be a Ryan Reynolds appearance somewhere, some just minor role maybe Bokeem Woodbine's character who's in it for like four seconds with the entire. THANDI: then done, HOBBIT: just done. Yeah. Or Brad Pitt like he did in a Deadpool yes, absolutely. That'd be incredible. Yeah. I am so sad. This is in a real movie. That sounds incredible. I would, I would go to the theater in a heartbeat to watch that version. THANDI: Yeah, just a good time. HOBBIT: yeah, that sounds so big, dumb, fun, self-aware kind of. THANDI: the, and the rock. Like, you know, the rock is a good natured guy and his presence [00:36:00] as far as his brand is, is really good. But like that self-awareness that yeah, you just come off like your promotion machine at this point, dude, HOBBIT: Yeah. THANDI: we all like you, but you, you like, you're like, you're always on selling something or whatever. Dude, it's it's a lot. HOBBIT: And I would love to see this hesitance where, yeah, he is a beast. He probably could mutilate you. Like, no, I don't actually hurt people. That's not in my character. I'm THANDI: I sell tequila. What do you want from HOBBIT: Right. . Look dude, I got a kid. I don't wanna go to jail. I'm into it. That's fucking fantastic.  I, this, these are these moments on smack my pitch up that are painful when it's something that won't happen. You know, we come, it's a really good concept and it's just, it, it's like, great. Now this is a thing that I never get to have. So so thank  THANDI: you. know, can, can you hold a rainbow in your hand? HOBBIT: And a rainbow is the rock ripping Jared Leto in a half? Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be The name of this episode is ripping Jared Leto in a half. Alright, we are at the [00:37:00] tail end of this episode of Smack. My pitch up. One mashup that I thought would be kind of fun is that you just replaced the giant. Coup on Alcatraz with fight Club with just like the Project Mayhem dudes. Just trying to, so the Seeds of Chaos would be kind of fun. THANDI: Oh, that'd be big fun. I, I could see that. The longest yard. The rock with the longest yard, they're playing the football game and then like military incursion breaks out. HOBBIT: Oh, Jesus THANDI: Adam Sandler. Save us all HOBBIT: Oh, God. Doomed. Doomed. All right, we got one last little bit of stuff to do here. We're talking about our trailers, so I'm gonna do my David Leach action project, and then if you wanna follow up with your version here Here we go. From the director that brought you John Wick, atomic [00:38:00] Blonde, and Hobbes and Shaw gives you a new vision of action Insanity. Alcatraz Island off the San Francisco Bay. A place for prisoners or a place for terror this summer. Stanley, good speed. Regular lab schmo teams up with John Patrick, Patrick Mason, an escape artist to save the world from the deranged intent of General Francis Hummel. Join Iris Elba, Helen Mirren. Andrew Garfield, Keanu Reeves, and featuring Zazie Beetz who's the winner? Who's the loser? Who's the enemy? The rock. THANDI: The rock is all the [00:39:00] things. HOBBIT: The rock is different to every person. Okay? It's not one thing to one person. My Lord and Savior. And he just may be a comfort to you Yeah. Some people I think, do look at the Rock as their Lord and Savior, honestly, so you're not too far off. THANDI: Hm. HOBBIT: All right, so we've got your your, I think, perfect film that we've got next, moving forward. THANDI: too kind HOBBIT: And did, who's directing this? Your, your version, THANDI: Oh, oh yeah. You know what? That is funny. John Chu, John m Chu who directed step Up to GI Joe Retaliation Jim and the Holograms. Actually, yeah crazy Rich Asians in The Heights, which I can't believe I couldn't come up with that movie cuz he directed in the Heights. I was going for somebody who does like, pretty shots and bright colors like, like the children of Michael Bay, but not one of the children of Michael Bay as far as the directorial style. HOBBIT: Okay. Cool. Cool, cool. All right, so we, we are John [00:40:00] Shu. Definitely re-imagining of the rock. So here we go. THANDI: What's harder than The Rock? The Rock. Stanley. The rock. Good. Speed. In another movie this time on the island of Alcatraz. But what happens when things get out of crazy ass Jared Leto takes over the island with his cult? Yes. In this version of the Rock, we have Jared Leto as Frank Hummel, we have Daniel Craig, as John Patrick Mason, a shady guy with an SAS Pass that Special forces from Great Britain. Who's on the rock shoulder saying, do it. Do it. Yeah. The rock's gonna go hard if he can get past his brand identity, come on and let's see how hard it gets on the rock.[00:41:00]  HOBBIT: I'm fucking here for it. That is incredible. Yes. All right. So thank you so much to my co-host Andy, for bringing, bringing it hard on this long overdue episode of Smack My Pitch Up. THANDI: We're back, baby HOBBIT: and we'll hopefully be releasing. The plan is to be releasing weekly from here on out. So please tell us what you wanna hear.  Take a look at what we haven't covered, some of your favorite TV shows or movies or what have you. Throw it at us and we just might do it on an episode. You can hit us THANDI: some input from HOBBIT: 100%, especially with the new format. Let us know how you. We are available through email at geeks under the influence gmail.com. Just put smack my pitch up in the subject line you can is up on pitch smacked both on Facebook and Twitter or hit up the GUI hotline at 8 0 4 5 0 5 4 4 8 4. Let us know what you think. Take voicemails and texts on that number. So It hit up our new account on key. Yeah, you are begging for us to have a [00:42:00] key party account.  That's for, that's pre our first live event. We'll get a key party account going. yay, . All right. Until next time. I'm Mike the Hobbit THANDI: and I'm Thandi HOBBIT: and you just got pitch smacked THANDI: in the face. HOBBIT: the face in the rock, in the rocks. THANDI: Oh my stones.

44m
Feb 03, 2023
Beverly Hills Cop: Fatal Instinct

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 92 - Beverly Hills Cop: Fatal Instinct Hobbit and Thandi head to Beverly Hills to stick bananas in tailpipes and solve some crimes! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Opus One" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 15m
Jun 13, 2022
Condorman Fringe (Mash-Ups)

NSFW Ep. 91 - Condorman Fringe (Mash-Ups) Thandi and Hobbit put on matching outfits, and try to start a gang of street tuffs. Subscribe: bit.ly/SMPUpod A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

34m
May 15, 2022
The Warriors: Practical Decisions (For My Thug Family)

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 90 - The Warriors: Practical Decisions (For My Thug Family) Hobbit and Thandi click their heels together and wish for some actually good remakes of The Wizard of Oz Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "The Voyage" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 13m
May 07, 2022
Mash-Up: Chubby Grandad Matinee

NSFW Ep. 89 - Mash-Up: Chubby Grandad Matinee Thandi and Hobbit follow the yellow brick road to a land of unspeakable horrors! Subscribe: bit.ly/SMPUpod A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

44m
Apr 22, 2022
The Wizard of Oz: Bleak Like Kansas

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 88 - The Wizard of Oz: Bleak Like Kansas Hobbit and Thandi click their heels together and wish for some actually good remakes of The Wizard of Oz Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "The Voyage" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 12m
Apr 16, 2022
Ghost: Why Is Everything Damp?!

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 87 - Ghost: Why Is Everything Damp?! Hobbit and Thandi say ditto a lot. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and trailer music by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 15m
Mar 25, 2022
Mash-Up: Demolition Man plus Idiocracy (equals Democracy)

NSFW Ep. 86 - Mash-Up: Demolition Man plus Idiocracy (equals Democracy) Thandi and Hobbit imagine a future dystopia where the Wilson bros and Sly and Snipes demolish good taste. Subscribe: bit.ly/SMPUpod A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

29m
Mar 18, 2022
Demolition Man: The Demolition Meister

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 85 - Demolition Man: The Demolition Meister Hobbit and Thandi go to the future to express their happy joy joy feelings about a Demolition Man remake Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and trailer music by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 15m
Mar 11, 2022
The Full Monty: Five Armie Hammers (The Razor's Edge)

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 83 - The Full Monty: Five Armie Hammers (The Razor's Edge) Hobbit and Thandi Woodard (My Handle is Jonathan Blade) go whole hog while remaking/reimagining The Full Monty (1997). Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe   * My Handle is Jonathan Blade Podcast Links: * Twitter: https://twitter.com/Johnathanblade * Apple: https://apple.co/2DEgoDT * Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3gFHxEX * Youtube: https://t.co/c70qsTS08p?amp=1 Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Moment's Reflection", and "Musical Synergy" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 3m
Aug 27, 2021
National Treasure: Building Relationships Was The Real Treasure

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 82 - Legend: Mustache Devil Knows What He's About Hobbit and Scotty P (Geekfathers) are gonna steal the Declaration of Independance to find a pitch on the back for a National Treasure Remake! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Moment's Reflection", and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 20m
Jul 09, 2021
That's Entertainment (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 83 - That's Entertainment (The Short List) Style: Dystopian Musical Synopsis: Jacob finds himself in the literal spotlight after his brothers death, and has to decide what and who's worth fighting for in an underground society where his only weapons are his songs. Subscribe: bit.ly/SMPUpod A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

40m
Jun 05, 2021
Legend (1985): Mustache Devil Knows What He's About

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 82 - Legend: Mustache Devil Knows What He's About Hobbit and Kyle Smash (Geekfathers) balance the light and the dark when pitching remakes/reimaginings of the 1985 fantasy classic "Legend" Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "Middle Earth", and "Before Dawn" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 15m
May 14, 2021
This Flat Earth (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 81 - This Flat Earth (The Short List) Style: Mockumentary Synopsis: Werner Herzog and his documentary crew follow four Flat Earthers as they make their way to the South Pole to prove once and for all the earth is flat. Subscribe: bit.ly/SMPUpod https://t.co/pMA5gwoIR0?amp=1 The Holli Fund: https://www.thehollifund.org/ A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

26m
May 07, 2021
Six String Samurai: Fistfull of Anne Heche's Butthole

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 80 - Six String Samurai: Fistfull of Anne Heche's Butthole Hobbit and Dungeon Master Jack take a journey through the desert cinema wastelands to crown one remake the king in this episode pitching Six String Samurai! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "Hi-Fi Brutality", and "Road Action" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

58m
May 01, 2021
Legacy (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 79 - Legacy (The Short List) Synopsis: The son of a deceased horror writer must struggle with creating his own legacy while in the impossible shadow of a father who kept some very dark secrets. The Holli Fund: https://www.thehollifund.org/ A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

18m
Apr 23, 2021
Waiting For Guffman: Horny For Organ

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 78 - Waiting For Guffman: Horny For Organ Hobbit and Thandi Woodard (My Handle is Jonathan Blade) are off to Blaine, Missouri for a community theater reboot/remake of the Christopher Guest classic, Waiting for Guffman! My Handle is Jonathan Blade Podcast Links: Twitter: https://twitter.com/Johnathanblade Apple: https://apple.co/2DEgoDT Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3gFHxEX Youtube: https://t.co/c70qsTS08p?amp=1 Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Darker Heart", and "The Voyage" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 4m
Apr 16, 2021
Climb (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 77 - Climb (The Short List) Synopsis: A construction project near a newly clear-cut jungle is ground zero for a global catastrophe when human-specific parasitic fungal spores start spreading, and people start climbing... The Holli Fund: https://www.thehollifund.org/ A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

16m
Apr 02, 2021
Face/Off: Face Theft In Space!

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 76 - Face/Off: Face Theft In Space! Hobbit and F.U. Hunter (From The Mouths Of Madness, Beautiful Disasters) pitch ideas for a remake/reimagining of Face/Off Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "Epic TV Theme", and "Bustin' Loose" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

50m
Mar 26, 2021
Next Star Neighbor (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 75 - Next Star Neighbor (The Short List) Synopsis: Dan is an actor in a TV series about a loveable alien hiding out in the home of a quirky family. Little does he know a visitor mistaking the TV show for real life is about to be his new houseguest.  Life imitates art as Dan tries to survive a TV-obsessed alien roommate without dooming the earth to destruction. The Holli Fund: https://www.thehollifund.org/ A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

21m
Mar 19, 2021
Empire Records: Bieber's Oil-Stained Corduroys

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 74 - Empire Records: Bieber's Oil-Stained Corduroys Hobbit and Katie (Nerdcropolis) pitch ideas for a remake/reimagining of Empire Records Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out Katie at these links: https://nerdcropolis.com/ https://www.instagram.com/nerdcropolis/ Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Darker Heart", and "Ectoplasm" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 7m
Mar 12, 2021
Service With A Smile (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 73 - Service With A Smile (The Short List) Synopsis: A suburban Karen is sentenced to a month of waiting tables after her tantrum causes damage at a restaurant. Sharing her experiences from the incident on her blog causes some unexpected results. The Holli Fund: https://www.thehollifund.org/ A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

23m
Mar 05, 2021
Heathers: Old People Crime

NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 72 - Heathers: Old People Crime Hobbit and Reese Williams (Spying on Humanity podcast, Shockoe Sessions) pitch ideas for a remake/reimagining of Heathers. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe Check out Reese at these links: https://www.youtube.com/user/inyourearstudios/videos https://www.reesewilliams.com/ Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", and "Road Action" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US “Steve Combs Through” Theme by Steve Combs This work is licensed under a Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode This work is licensed under Public Domain geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 11m
Feb 27, 2021
No Late Fees (The Short List)

NSFW Ep. 71 - No Late Fees (The Short List) Synopsis: In 2010 the movie rental store is in it's death throes. The last Blockbuster in town awaits an important phone call that will seal their fate. A new mini-sode format every other week on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and occasional guests pitch and cast an original idea for film/TV Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

20m
Feb 20, 2021
Starship Troopers: Fascism For Kids!

NSFW Ep. 70 - Starship Troopers: Fascism For Kids! Hobbit and Jack the Dungeon Master pitch ideas for a reboot/remake of Starship Troopers! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "Middle Earth", and "Opus One" by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com http://www.audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US /creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US geeksundertheinfluence@gmail.com for sponsorship inquiries

1h 22m
Feb 12, 2021