Alex and Adrian's Unattended Baggage
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240 episodes
Hungover Adrian questions his parenting decisions, Alex unlocks Skunk Ape Florida Man achievement, this one simple insurance trick will probably cost you a new mileage tax, US getting a bit uneasy with Israel’s real estate transaction, DeSantis signs law that will create a child army of hacktivists, and we enjoy some beautiful music by the man who shot Reagan.
Adrian & Alex decide we should earn “Florida Man” scout badges for things like molesting a manatee, why hating the government is different from hating America, instant ice age to start next year according to fear-porn peddlers, US puts troops in Taiwan, SCOTUS justice thinks 1A protects government speech, and Apple sucks but the government needs to leave them alone.
Adrian gets a dose of toxic female masculinity after rom-com tearjerker, Boeing suffers another string of “bad luck” and whistleblower ends up suspiciously dead, America’s top Jew fires warning shot at Israel, Canada goes full China, and why you absolutely, positively should steal from the self-checkout lane.
The state of the union is “un,” governments and tech companies fighting over who gets to oppress you while still being each others’ biggest customers, the clock is Tik Toking, AI is getting better at lying, Big Pharma recruits Oprah to fat shame your body positivity, and it’s time for us all to agree that ACAB.
Blame Room 641A for your cell phone outage, it’s 3D irony when Nazis call out Israelis for genocide, nation-states being replaced by corporate-states, why Adrian can’t have electricity, Alex tells tales of drunken nights of old, and why we’re all becoming anarcho-nihilists.
Adrian gets a H-pic, Alex is now known as “Fruity Sudsucker,” Left & Right are pissed about WWJD, Putin kills Navalny and plans space nukes, America argues over which presidential candidate is more cognitively impaired, cops open fire on falling acorn, “Hookers & Blow” Gates, “Bump & Grind” Willis, and the future of AI incels.
Alex and Adrian argue over the Tucker Carlson interview with Putin, DOJ basically tells the world Biden is senile, NOTA beats Haley in primary, AI wants a nuclear war, why some think ACAB, we discuss the proper way to cook a male member, Ozzy & Ye go to War Pig, and we’re not fans of book burning…but we’re suckers for a hot chick with a flamethrower.
Musk makes a cyborg, ‘Merica attacks Syria and Iraq to frighten Iran, Swift-Kelce is great for business, Israel says the quiet thing out loud, AI and the atrophied mind, if you can’t make the espionage charges stick, just plant some kiddie pron, and so what if I’ve got a nuclear missile in my garage?
Alex is still lying about his beer consumption, Christian nationalists search for the promised land in KY, 23andMe hack targeted Jewish and Chinese DNA, while Pentagon says China developing bioweapons, more ways Florida wants to kill you, Houthis doing their part to fight climate change, and that’s a helluva tailwind.
The BS title of this show was generated by ChatGPT, and is as meaningless as Alex’s beer reviews, China is making a new virus to kill all humans, Navajos downed memorial moon shot, “Chevron Deference” court decision could upend government, the Bond Villains of Davos, and Uvalde report says cops were cowards.
Nikki Haley conjured arctic blast to keep reptilian Trumpsters from Iowa caucus, Florida book bans now include encyclopedia, dictionary, and Guinness Book of World Records, Reps. Luna and Garcia talk “interdimensional beings” after SKIF, we’re all plastic people now, and when will we see the “Two Presidents, One Cup” videos?
Adrian’s houseguests keep trying to kill him, so Alex wants to sell him final expense insurance, Democrat “democracy” means only one name on the ballot, how China & the Saudis bribed Trump, there’s not many surprises on the Epstein pedo list, except whether or not it was a Mossad honeypot, and did 10-foot interdimensional beings go on a Miami shopping spree?
Adrian’s personal grooming decision enrages Alex, Trump doubles-down on Adolf quote, new Civil War movie trailer taps into America’s psyche, Epstein’s naughty list to be released next week and we wonder if any real names will be on it, SWAT pimps get SWATted, and why all monuments to unity and reconciliation must be destroyed.
Adrian actually believes (we think) Barbie movie was utterly brilliant, Elon’s AI turns on its creator and ChatGPT is struggling with depression, that dude in the Ray Bans isn’t just staring at you, Casey DeSantis invites everyone to vote in Iowa Caucus, Boston mayor apologizes for inviting white people to party, and why we probably won’t donate to the nazi legal defense fund.
The sun sets on Alex’s Uber journey, Adrian grooming local squirrels, Nikki and Vivek demonstrate their geographical ignorance, US prepping for war on another continent, Google AI knows your entire life story, UW is now 100% URM, Seattle recruits kids to oust gay nudists, and did we just break Einstein’s speed limit?
Adrian thinks he saw a UAP but we suspect he was impaired, accusations of rape of menage a trois partner for Florida book-banning anti-LGBT power couple, “Gay Furry” hacker group demand cat girl chimeras from breached nuclear lab, CO2-belching private jets frozen to runway on route to global warming conference, and the winter blockbuster is Pandemic 2: The Children of Wuhan.
We dig deep into the “threat to humanity” breakthrough that shook the foundations of OpenAI..and possibly the world, Argentina’s new president is either a libertarian or a dictator, meet the woman who killed JFK, Dublin riots after mass stabbing, get ready for 44k hours of January 6, and every day is Turkey day for NYC Mayor Eric Adams.
Toothless Adrian embraces their inner redneck, what Winnie The Pooh really wanted, befuddled Biden can still spot a dictator, Congress goes WWE, Martian Messiah build rebellious AI, Alex believes humans can’t move rocks, every war is the Gombe War, and why can’t we just let men enjoy the silky goodness of women’s panties?
Toothless, hacking Adrian heads to the ranch, Uber Alex dodges bullets in Ybor City, Hamas and Israel are both correct in accusing the other of the “G” word, US government promotes “Made In America” by delivering 85,000 child slaves to US companies, cops keep busting journalist for exposing government corruption, and why news is no longer in your newsfeed.
Psycho mass murderer eats a bullet, homicidal pilot ignites call to ban planes, Congress is unfortunately back in business, reports of Putin’s death appear greatly exaggerated, police kill man and bury the evidence, the AI news manipulation begins by suppressing UK Prime Ministers warning about AI, and US is methodically being drawn into Israeli war.
What Biden tells us, what’s he really telling the Israelis, and where will it lead? Congress’ impotence saving taxpayers $1.7 trillion for now, more Trump cronies make plea deals and drop dime, the Second Law of Infodynamics might upend reality, AI catches Ocean’s Eleven robber cop, we actually can build all solar cars, and why do hackers want your DNA?
Alex wants to be an undertaker, Adrian narrowly dodges a twister, we have an in-depth discussion about the Israeli-Hamas war which will probably piss everyone off, but one which we think has a rational, logical and ultimately hopeful humanitarian conclusion, we cover the glorious ineffectuality of the US Congress, and we speculate on Peruvian “Face Peelers.”
Alex saves a drunk Latino, Adrian’s wife is witchdancer, Hamas launches massive, coordinated attack on Israel with Iranian support, Hillary wants MAGA re-education camps, Trump gave US nuke sub secretes to foreigners, Target hires DHS to stop shoplifters, Biden builds Trump’s wall, and Americans keep lying to themselves about voting 3rd party.
Adrian is calm as anarchy reigns in neighborhood detour, Feinstein’s death not expected to hurt her re-election chances, Meatball and friends arrested for harmless wealth redistribution, net-cutting Philipinos could force US war with China, more men give up on women, and the government shutdown means you can’t visit nature.
Alex and Adrian detail all their geriatric maladies, Mexican “alien” bodies might not be a hoax, Federman unveils his 2024 Fall Fashion Line, Sen. Menedez should’ve taken Egyptian bribe in crypto, and War with Mexico is brought to you by Johnson & Johnson, makers of fentanyl, and a grant from the National Foundation to Prevent Alien Disclosure.
We try to unwrap the Mexico “alien” disclosure and come up with more questions than answers, Seattle cop & union VP devalues life of woman killed by cop, Commies fail to learn a lesson in quasi-freedom, whistleblower says CIA bribed analysts to rule out COVID lab leak theory, DeSantis opens hunting season on border crossers, and a Dickensesque child criminal gang terrorizes NYC.
Alex gets a Tesla, Adrian gets a gay sky, Climate study author says “we lied,” sperm and ova are no longer needed for human reproduction, Burning Man ain’t Disneyland, Elon changes course of Ukraine war, your car knows you’re a dumb pervert, Romania tries NOT to invoke Article 5, and are you a front or back yard man?
Alex avoids sh*t storm at the prom, Hurricane Idalia was “once in a lifetime” event for 11-month-old Floridians, a Chaotic Neutral take on how to handle Nazis, the next round of mask mandates may be Guy Fawkes, McConnell needs to be rebooted again, police drones are coming to your backyard, and male macaques are really into caque.
Adrian and Alex recount their relationships with black men, we give an in-depth analysis of the GOP debate we didn’t watch, the media and merchandise marketing spectacle that was the Trump arrest, Rich Men North of Richmond tweak the algorithm, AI-driven vehicles be ridin’ dirty, and new survey asks if you’d like to live in a Chinese espionage camp with homes starting from the mid $400s.
Alex & Adrian finally make the Obama 2024 bet, please…just tell us the cow’s name, why you might be flagged as a human trafficker if your child’s a different race, facial recognition doesn’t care if you’re pregnant, baby bust means fewer maternity wards, and this podcast was not (yet) AI generated.
