Curtains are being raised everywhere this weekend! But like Jens Lehmann, here at the Ramble instead of pulling it back we’re chainsawing our way through it instead.

Pete, Luke and Jim discuss what they’re rubbing thighs over this weekend, with one particularly troubling answer (ahem, Pete). Plus Man City initiate real-life Terminator 2, Alexandre Lacazette goes full Nicolas Cage and a non-league chairman picks up an ex-Serie A player while out walking his dog…

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