Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage

About

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

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826 episodes

Savage Lovecast Episode 824

A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests?  Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back cherished cartoonist and mental health coach Ellen Forney to talk about mood disorders, and whether to leave your pills out by the bed. Forney’s books “Marbles” and “Rock Steady” are must-haves whether you have bipolar, love someone who does, or are just interested in the subject. And, meet a woman who embodies the concept of GGG with exceptional valor. Her boyfriend was delighted when she accidentally peed during sex and then asked if she would, well, you know,…poop. Her concern? She’s a giggler and worries she’ll laugh through the whole thing. Is this a fake call meant to invoke the expression “shits and giggles?” Maybe! But it’s podcast gold so…enjoy!  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

1h 6m
Aug 09
Savage Lovecast Episode 823

So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work.  And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOYSLUT about being promiscuous in the age of monkeypox, and how to ask politely if the third in your three-way has gotten tested for STIs.  A bi man has been out there seeking casual sex. Is it appropriate to ask a hook-up partner what she would do if she got pregnant, despite their precautions?  Q@savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.  This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

48m
Aug 02
Savage Lovecast 822- Extra

We’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful this disease can be. The two talk about the disease, dispel some myths, and discuss the danger of anonymous, multi-partnered sex right now.  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

45m
Jul 27
Savage Lovecast Episode 822

My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal?  A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw it. Should she?  On the Magnum, we have Dr. Jen Gunter on to talk about the effect abortion bans are having on people’s libidos, and the desire to have kids at all.  A married man has a 4 year-old child that was conceived months into their relationship. In order to diagnose a medical condition the child has, he got some genetic testing done. He discovered that he is not the biological father. He loves his kid thoroughly and loves his fatherhood role. Should they tell the biological father? What if the bio-dad wants to swoop in and demand custody? His own parents cherish being grandparents. Should he tell them? Yowsers, right?  Of note! On Wednesday, we’ll have an extra Micro/Magnum about Monkeypox. Dr. Carlton Thomas has been in the trenches treating gay men, and it’s…well, it’s horrifying. And for Magnum subscribers, expect a new Sex & Politics!  Q@savage.love      206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

57m
Jul 26
Savage Lovecast Episode 821

A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all! On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this week is Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. She and Dan talk about the societal pressure non-monogamous folks contend with, and how communication is elevated to an art when you have a bevy of metamours circling around.  A woman is enjoying a short term relationship with a man. She wants to try dom/sub action, specifically being worshiped as a goddess. He’s into it! So what’s the catch? He has erectile dysfunction and won’t get hard during this kind of play. His visual arousal is key to her feeling adored. What’s a goddess to do?  She did the right thing. She called 206-302-2064 or she recorded her question and sent it to Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.  This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

52m
Jul 19
Savage Lovecast Episode 820

A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out.  On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special sex toy that Andrew created specially for folks like this. Get yourself a Bump’n Joystick or fund someone else who could use one here: https://getbumpn.com And, guess who’s coming to the wedding? Why, it’s the grooms racist, homophobic, drunk mother! One of the bridesmaids is gay, and dating a trans woman. How can the caller avoid turning her very special day into the shit-show of the century?  Q@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

50m
Jul 12
Savage Lovecast Episode 819

Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him?  A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he?  On the Magnum, learn a thing or two about monkeypox with Dr. Ina Park. Dr. Park, author of Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History and Surprising Secrets of STDs, explains how and why this new virus is something for gay men to pay particular attention to.  Meanwhile, a mid 50s woman keeps scoring and getting ghosted by much younger men. Is there something she’s doing wrong? Or right?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

49m
Jul 05
Savage Lovecast Episode 818

A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle?  A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current total hottie comedian David Drake. They talk about mining your personal life for comedic material, and whether getting jacked at a massage parlor constitutes cheating. Fun! And, a caller is convinced that some bad actors are hiding behind the poly label to justify cheating. Is she right? She just might be right! (She’s right.) Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 There are 2 more days to take advantage of our half off sale for new subscribers to the Magnum. Go to Savage.Love and enter the promo code: SavagePride 2022 This episode is brought to you by Hung Up-an original podcast about sex love and relationships, from Headspace hosted by Shan Boodram. Search for Hung Up in your podcast player. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

55m
Jun 28
Savage Lovecast Episode 817

Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this?  A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff. Why Porn Hub, why?!! On the Magnum, Dan chats with the good Doctor Joe Kort, who coined the term “sides.” Sides are gay men who aren’t into anal sex (but do plenty of other things.) They talk about the weird reaction sides get from both gay and straight folks, and also about first loves, the unwarranted herpes stigma, and meet sleazys. You should listen to this conversation but we warn you- you’re gonna feel good… And, a woman wants Dan to call her dad and berate him for getting in so many toxic relationships and then complaining about it to his daughter. Will Dan call her father?  Q@savage.Love     206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.

51m
Jun 21
Savage Lovecast Episode 816

Believe it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spirit Ryan O’Connell from the Queer as Folk reboot. They talk about sex and dating with cerebral palsy and what to make of being fetishized for a disability. They also war over who coined “cumspringa” first. (It’s Dan.) Ryan is whipsmart and we all love him.  A woman has been with her boyfriend for 10 years. He’s straight as an arrow…when he’s sober. When he drinks he talks about wanting to be with men. He refuses to acknowledge that he has a touch of the queer in him. How can the caller get him to embrace this about himself and have him understand that it doesn’t really matter?  Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE.

52m
Jun 14
Savage Lovecast Episode 815

A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem.  A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can he leave her in the care of her adult children who live with her?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emmy and Tony-nominated actor, author, and producer Jesse Tyler Fergusson about Broadway, casting gays, and meddling, jealous ex-girlfriends. A gay man still has some photos up on social media of him and his ex. Some of his friends say he should take them down- it looks like he hasn’t moved on. Other advise him to keep them up- it shows high emotional IQ that he is still friends with his exes. What should he do?  We know what YOU should do. Call! 206-302-2064 or record your question and send it to Q@savage.love Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

51m
Jun 07
Savage Lovecast Episode 814

A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed?  A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, she looks at him and chickens out.  On the Magnum: Pegging WILL be in the Oxford English Dictionary. Or so says Dan’s new inside man. In the noble quest to enshrine the word “Pegging” in the world’s most respected record of the English language, Dan brings on Jesse Sheidlower, former editor at large of the OED to explain why some words get in and some don’t. Nerds rejoice! In your FACE Bill Savage! (This is one of Nancy’s favorite Magnum conversations just so you know.)  Ok, is it true that men don’t like it if you put out too quickly? Because she let him have rough sex with her and she really enjoyed it, and they seemed to be really vibing and he kissed her goodbye, but now he’s TOTALLY GHOSTING her!  It’s hard out there.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Fiasco- a new Audible podcast by the people who made Slow Burn. This episode is all about the AIDS crisis. Check it out at Audible.com/fiascopod or text ‘FIASCOPOD’ to 500-500.

52m
May 31
Savage Lovecast Episode 813

A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men?  A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it?   In these dark times there is only one man who can bring the light. It’s Randy Rainbow! The genius who got us through the Trump years is out with a new book, and continues to churn out super-clever, super-gay videos. They answer a couple calls togethers, they laugh, they cry, they misgender someone, you get to listen. Some is on the Micro, all is on the Magnum.  Hear the pathos in the voice of this 30 year old man, who tumbled together with a woman and her husband. Now he’s catching feelings for the wife, the husband is pissed and the marriage just might end. He didn’t bargain for this… voicemail@savagelovecast.com   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Sakara. Makers of life-transforming, plant-rich super meals delivered to your door, ready-to-eat. Get 20% off your first order when you go to Sakara.com/Savage or enter code SAVAGE at checkout.

56m
May 24
Savage Lovecast Episode 812

An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if he did this to her, is he still pretending to be someone he isn’t for other young women/girls? Should she tell his wife and blow up his life?  It’s hard to be ethically non-monogamous! It really is! This is what a man and his wife have learned after she cheated on him with a man who was cheating on *his* wife. Are there resources for folks trying to be open and honest?  Our all time favorite dominatrix, Mistress Matisse is back to discuss a few thorny issues. 1) Can we call ourselves and our pals “whore” in a sex-positive “take it back” kind of way? Or is the word off-limits unless you are an actual sex worker? 2) After 4 months, a sex worker in her 30s has fallen in love with her 64 year-old married client. Now what? And, 3) a woman is super annoyed that her husband needs to process their relationship for hours before he will finally fuck her already. You’ll hear question #1 on the Micro and all of them on the Magnum. Finally, a man with an 8 inch penis is using a penis extender to get even more length. He’s been wearing the device for two months, but he’s beginning to lose sensitivity. Is he putting his Weiner in danger? Is it worth it?  Yes and no. voicemail@savagelovecast.com        206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com.

51m
May 17
Savage Lovecast Episode 811

“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd?  A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him on/make him jealous. As a lesbian, the caller recoils at the idea of providing “content” for some man. She and Dan discuss the matter. You get to hear their conversation. We have two guests for you this week. Did you know that England has sex scandals too? They do! Rachel Cunliffe, the Senior Associate Editor of the New Statesman, is on to talk about the naughty MP Neil Parish who resigned after he was discovered watching porn on the crowded House of Commons floor.  And on the Magnum, Dan chats with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed, about finding the elusive silent vibrator. Finally, a man hooked up with a guy who bragged about some of his exhibitionist exploits. Would you like to hear what they were? You’ll have to listen to find out. But, the caller is worried that this man will get in trouble, or be seen by a child or other non-consenting person. Is he a prude to cut off relations at this point?  Voicemail@savagelovecast.com.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

51m
May 10
Savage Lovecast Episode 810

A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret?  A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral sex. But she can’t get the distaste for them out of her head. How can she learn to love giving them again?  On the Magnum, Dan interviews psychology professor Dr. Craig Harper about his research on sex doll owners. Is there a personality type associated with sex doll ownership? What kind of relationships do they have with women?  Finally, if a guy has an STI, does his semen taste different?  Like butterscotch maybe? voicemail@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

49m
May 03
Savage Lovecast Episode 809

A gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to someone. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or consent. So. Can they still be friends? How bad is this? A queer woman has been on 2 dates with a gal, and they are getting along really well. The caller did a deep internet search and discovered that her date is in fact trans. Not only had the woman not disclosed this, but she volunteered that she was cis, and talked about having period cramps in her youth. Lies? Why would she lie? The caller is very game to date a trans woman. How should she proceed?  Our guest this week is Christine Emba, author of “Rethinking Sex: A Provocation.” And Dan was indeed provoked! They discuss her critique of sex culture in which attaining consent is considered a high bar to clear when in fact it is the very lowest bar. Choking? Sadism? What is wrong with us? They talk about kink-shaming, Armie Hammer, how to avoid terrible people and much more. A little is on the Micro, the whole fascinating thing is on the Magnum. And, a bisexual man and his wife have begun a wonderful triad with another bi man. But they have a 9 year-old daughter who will eventually catch on that mommy and daddy’s new friend is more than a friend. Should they tell her and get out in front of it before she thinks one of them is cheating?  Send us your tricky questions please.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to Allform.com/Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

58m
Apr 26
Savage Lovecast Episode 808

Mazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin.  More semen please! A man wants to know if the various foods and supplements that promise to increase semen volume really work.  On the Magnum, you should have seen the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ scurry around when we found out that Anna Sale was coming on the show. The host of Death, Sex & Money has a new podcast all about erectile dysfunction called HARD, so Dan chatted with her about ED and Viagra and much more. Unsurprisingly, Anna Sale was a delight.  And, can cis people use the term “dead-naming?” The caller saw a YouTuber complaining that some people in a bar had called out the name they read from his driver’s license. He now uses his slick YouTube handle and accused the bartender of “dead-naming” him. But isn’t this term specifically for people who use a trans person’s former name? People! Words Matter.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

52m
Apr 19
Savage Lovecast Episode 807

A woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct?  A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t want to live in the cold, dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. But they still love and miss each other so much. The caller feels like his house is a museum of their love, with objects everywhere to remind him of his man. Should he sell the house and move on?  On the Magnum, Dan lures the delightful stand-up comedian Gianmarco Soresi, to give his straight male perspective on dating whilst famous and…dick picks.  And, a sex worker has a boyfriend who disapproves of her job. He started seeing another woman because he claims it’s the only way he can stomach his girlfriend’s profession. The caller agreed to let him see both of them, so long as the other woman knew about her. When the woman found out, she dumped the lad, leaving him seething with anger. Now the caller wonders…who is the asshole?  There are going to be a few more single men after this show comes out… voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

55m
Apr 12
Savage Lovecast Episode 806

A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants?  4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past transgression?  On the Magnum, we welcome back our favorite ghost(ing) writer, Justine Ang Fonte, to discuss the delicate art of saying “No.” A woman sent her friend-with-benefits a sex tape of herself. He said he loved it and has watched it “many times.” But she was able to see that he watched it only twice. Is this grounds for freaking out?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE.

49m
Apr 05
Savage Lovecast Episode 805

Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies.  A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump?  A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective!  Some kinks explored on this show: globes, bones, animals, talking peeholes, nudism, mullets and astrology. Which are real? Can you tell?  Have you ever wanted to hear Yoda talk dirty? No? Nobody’s making you subscribe to the Magnum… 206-302-2064           voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

54m
Mar 29
Savage Lovecast Episode 804

A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she? A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles? On the Magnum, our guest is Laura Kipness- author of “Love in the Time of Contagion.” The two talk about everything under the sun, including polyamory, relationship anarchy, power as an aphrodisiac, the perversity of being confined during covid times and much more.  And, Dan councils a woman whose father is a big ole cheater. He got caught kissing a woman at a bar by the caller and then lied about it to the whole family. His wife is disabled and needs a lot of care. The caller doesn’t want to butt in on her parents’ sex life, but does dad need to be so careless?  I mean, come on dad! voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to Allform.com/Savage. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

59m
Mar 22
Savage Lovecast Episode 803

Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap.  A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill.  And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com             206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage

54m
Mar 15
Savage Lovecast Episode 802

A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up?  A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off?  Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is extra spicy today. In what must be our first combination of a What You Got and Darwin Award nomination, a man inserted the straw from a can of spray foam insulation into his urethra, and pressed the button. Dr. Susan MacDonald, the intrepid researcher and Urology Professor, presents this case study with more calm than most of us are capable of.  And, a domme woman is trying to get pregnant with her sub. How can they adjust their sex practices to maximize the chances of fertilization?  We’re looking for answers here.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

54m
Mar 08
Savage Lovecast Episode 801

It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye?  A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning, before they assume their roles. How can she cut to the chase?  On the Magnum version, a man asks Dan to reconcile the seeming contradiction of the public health mandate to wash one’s hands, with the celebrated practice of eating ass. “Please explain.” Dan brings on Dr. Daniel Summers- pediatrician, and hand-washing advocate to shed light on the situation.  And, a bisexual man would like to dress more…bisexually. Can anyone help him pick out some threads?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Represent.Us – a non-partisan organization – to spread the word about efforts to protect our elections and pass laws that will make our government truly of, by, and for the people. Find out more at Represent.Us/podcast

53m
Mar 01
Savage Lovecast Episode 800

Hey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette?  Next up! Do you like to crank them hogs? This widower had a rich, fulfilling sex life with his wife Barb, but she passed away. How can he find sexual fulfillment in his golden years? (And, Nancy has an important message for you.) Dan meets his millennial match in Shan Boodram- host of the “Lovers and Friends” podcast. They talk about why so many women can’t let go of bad partners, “trauma bonds” vs. “survivor bonds” and when white women are attracted to “Black Girl Magic.” You get a taste of it on the Micro, and all of it on the Magnum.  And, a trans guy is in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend. But the caller wants to open it up so he can have sex with friends. Can the boyfriend come around in time? (Hint: Dan’s husband did…”) voicemail@savagelovecast.com   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to Allform.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE.

58m
Feb 22
Savage Lovecast Episode 799

Hoo boy do we have a goodie for you today.  First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can they get their mojo back?  Our guests are Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson from the Guys We F****d podcast. Why we haven’t had them on the show sooner is a mystery to everyone. Dan and the ladies gab about dating younger guys, dating sexual prudes, getting laid when you aren’t so pretty, how we all have daddy issues, cuckolding and so much more. A bit of it is on the Micro and the whole sordid thing is on the Magnum.  And, how you teach your man to clean his ass properly?  voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

50m
Feb 15
Savage Lovecast Episode 798

Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy...very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years overheard and now there’s hell to pay.  A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in its box? And does she always have to be the one to buy them?  On the Magnum version of the show, have your Dear John letter written by a pro. Dan talks to Justine Ang Fonte, a ghostwriter who will happily write the texts you dread to send.  And, a lesbian is in that unenviable position of being the piece on the side. The woman she’s in love with already has a girlfriend and despite the great sex with the caller, won’t break up with anyone. Love hurts. Oooooh oooooh, love hurts.  voicemail@savagelovecast.com  206-302-2064 Check out Justine Ang Fonte on Instagram: @imjustineaf the creator of @_good.byes_ This episode is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code “Savage”. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

54m
Feb 08
Savage Lovecast Episode 797

A man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask?  Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how porn is our default sex-ed, what porn made for women can be like, and how to consume porn thoughtfully and ethically.  On the Magnum, a man has started dating a rather demanding virgin. Although they are sexual together, she has roadblocks set up at every turn. She will give him hand jobs only through his underwear, for instance. Dan consults his mean lesbian boss Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo to speculate and what’s might really be going on here. And, a woman has had sex with a dude twice. The first time was great. But, oy, the second time! He went at her like a jack hammer without paying any attention to her pleasure. Then he criticized her dirty talk prowess, comparing her to his ex-girlfriend. She wonders if she should wander off to pastures greener.  Off you go, dear.  206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit DameProducts.com/Savage to get 10% off your first order. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

55m
Feb 01
Savage Lovecast Episode 796

That’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part.  Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her wedding night. And there’s more on the big ole Magnum version of the show.  Then, also on the Magnum, Dan chats with David Ley, who literally wrote the book on cuckolding- “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them.” He and Rose Caraway (who narrates the audiobook, and came up with the idea for Cuck Week ) are on to talk about what a relief it is to finally have the practice of cuckolding out in the open. But do we need just a little bit of shame to enhance that erotic charge? They discuss.  And now. What is the next sexual practice to get its own week-long celebration?  Record a Q and send it in to us! voicemail@savagelovecast.com Or call 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to Allform.com/Savage.

51m
Jan 25