TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live

Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

About

TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and Tonight Pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.

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776 episodes

#3747 Where Everybody Lowe’s Your Name

Luke had his first run-in with Stinking Willy yesterday, and he learned a few lessons. Meanwhile, Andrew picks a fight with the internet’s favorite child. And Luke has a correction to make…but an apology!

1h 28m
Aug 11
#3746 Exactly One Hour(ish)

Luke and Andrew debate the advantages and disadvantages of duvets versus bedspreads, then they move on to discuss yesterday’s historic Mariner’s game. Plus, a listener’s adventures at Lowe’s teaches us all a valuable lesson. It’s just unclear what that lesson is.

1h 19m
Aug 10
#3745 The *Idea* Of A Toilet

Luke goes full as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him. 

1h 18m
Aug 09
#3745 The *Idea* Of A Toilet

Luke goes full as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him. 

1h 18m
Aug 09
#3744 Manic Pixie Dream Zombie

Tens of Listeners step-up to help Luke and Andrew remember some details of TBTL’s past. Plus, a French scientist sent out a funny tweet and now he’s forced to pretend he did it for some educational purpose.

1h 21m
Aug 08
#3743 TBTL Unexplained

You’ve got questions, we have…answers? Sort of? Luke and Andrew go through letters from listeners who want to know the origins of jokes, audio drops, and other references regularly heard on TBTL

1h 12m
Aug 05
#3742 God Don’t Make No Junk Bonds

Andrew has been eating a lot of bologna lately, and no matter how hard he tries to avoid the topic, Luke on hearing the details. Luke also recalls the day he broke out of his own bedroom and got his socks all wet.

1h 7m
Aug 04
#3741 Macho Macho Dad

Luke reveals more details about his childhood dresser, which contained illicit football stickers and the rough-hewn lyrics of an ‘80’s banger. He and Andrew also pay respects to Vin Scully and revel in the latest word salad from the Detroit Lions’ head coach.

1h 1m
Aug 03
#3740 Dill With It

Pickle flavoring is really having a moment, but pickle-loving Luke isn’t into it. He and Andrew also discuss the best and worst tools on a Swiss Army Knife.

1h 6m
Aug 02
#3739 Shut The #%&! Up Elmo

TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

1h 16m
Aug 01
#3739 Shut The #%&! Up Elmo

TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

1h 16m
Aug 01
#3738 I Approve This Massage

Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

1h 18m
Jul 29
#3738 I Approve This Massage

Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

1h 18m
Jul 29
#3737 And You Don’t Believe In A Mark?

Luke has a moral conundrum regarding his rental car in Bismarck, ND, and he reluctantly asks Andrew for advice. Plus, people in France are freaking out over a mustard shortage. And something peculiar has caught Luke’s eye in a video of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the set of

1h 3m
Jul 28
#3736 Will It Dunc?

Luke joins the show from the Olive Garden District of Bismarck, ND, where he’s been unironically enjoying the bottomless breadsticks and salad. Plus, Andrew has a few things he needs to clear up about yesterday’s “What’s In The Box” segment. Meanwhile, the nation is in mourning over the death of the Choco Taco.

1h 17m
Jul 27
#3735 Big Beautiful Books

Luke joins the show from Bismarck, ND, where he’s learning the lay of the land. Meanwhile, Andrew made his first trip to the new TBTL PO Box and found it overflowing with correspondence from Tens of Listeners.

1h 17m
Jul 26
#3734 TBTL: Back In Caption

Andrew is upset that his submission to the cartoon caption contest didn’t win after seeing the finalists. Speaking of the Luke is fascinated by a piece about the VW minibus, which was apparently somewhat inspired by something called “The Chicken Wars.” 

1h 12m
Jul 25
#3733 Tom’s Of Mayonnaise

Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz’s social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent’s campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What’s worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team? 

1h 19m
Jul 22
#3733 Tom’s Of Mayonnaise

Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz’s social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent’s campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What’s worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team? 

1h 19m
Jul 22
#3732 Rex In Effect

Luke has introduced spray bottles into his relationship with his cat, and it’s changed everything. Plus, a woman earned a job interview after responding to a rejection letter with a goofy meme.

1h 13m
Jul 21
#3731 Well Behaved Kittens Rarely Make History

Andrew is working to change the way he talks to his cat -- and all pets in general. Plus, a minor league baseball GM gets a prostate exam while singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”, although it’s not entirely clear why. And Luke and Andrew try to figure out why they are completely uninterested in the sequel.

1h 15m
Jul 20
#3730 Schrödinger's Camera

Luke has thoughts on the new, buzzy Nathan Fielder show, He and Andrew also come up with a new segment idea for TBTL.

1h 20m
Jul 19
#3729 Morgan A Feeling

Luke just got back from Austin, where he gathered with friends to pay tribute to the late, great Drew McFrizz. Meanwhile, Andrew was almost denied an opportunity to clean a big mess in peace. Plus, something very interesting happened at an Omaha airport over the weekend. 

1h 23m
Jul 18
#3728 The Deal Hunter

The CEO of Costco has made it clear that the store will NOT be raising prices on its cheap hot dogs, even if it is a money-losing venture. This gives Andrew the opportunity to ask Luke a very important question about the way he consumes soda pop. 

1h 19m
Jul 15
#3727 Chart Of Escalation

Andrew learns something shocking about his own past. And an article in the helps Luke understand how he became a pathological liar (JUST KIDDING).

1h 9m
Jul 14
#3726 What A Kroc

Luke runs into some problems in his quest to reprint an Andre The Giant photo, and it’s making Andrew feeling a little panicky. They also talk about the time Ray Kroc commandeered a stadium PA system to call his own ballplayers “stupid.” And Andrew accidentally entered a humor contest while on the toilet.

1h 31m
Jul 13
#3725 P.O.d-à-Terre

Luke returns to the bar that has his favorite, mysterious Andre The Giant photo hanging on the wall, and he asks the owner if he can borrow it. Plus, a stolen Olympic medal is discovered in an old McDonald’s bag. And Andrew is excited that TBTL finally has a P.O. Box!

1h 8m
Jul 12
#3724 There’s A Right Way To Rock And A Wrong Way To Rigmarole

Luke has finally found true happiness, and he has video to prove it. Plus, a listener sheds some important light on Luke’s recent adventures at The Home Depot. And a drunk newscaster gives it her all in Albany.

1h 24m
Jul 11
#3723 A Work Of Dart

Luke joins the show from Port Townsend, where he’s falling in love with the small maritime village all over again. Meanwhile, Andrew (and his camera) got teased on the bus recently. And two Oregon cities are battling over a claim to “the world’s smallest park.”

1h 22m
Jul 08
#3722 Mayo Culpa

Andrew does some old-fashioned, shoe-leather reporting at his local Subway shop to find out what’s going on with the restaurant’s menu changes. He and Luke also offer a somewhat delayed review of And they discuss the rise of “GentleMinions”, who are disrupting screenings of the new movie. 

1h 15m
Jul 07