We have one word for love, but Greek has multiple: agape, phileo, storge, and eros. What is the difference between agape and phileo love? What about eros and storge? Read or listen to this chapter from Your Marriage God’s Way to find out.



Table of ContentsDEFINING THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVEEros—Physical AttractionStorge—Natural AffectionPhileo—Strong AffectionAgape—A Superior LoveA WIFE’S PHILEO FOR HER HUSBAND



What are a few things I love? I love my kids, eating popcorn, and teaching the Bible. Another man might say, “I love my wife, football, and working on my car.” For this man’s wife’s sake, let’s hope he loves his wife differently than he loves football and automobiles. For my kids’ sake, let’s hope I love them differently than I love eating popcorn.



Have you ever noticed that the English word love can be used in a wide variety of ways that fail to distinguish between different shades of meaning? Obviously, the love we have for things we enjoy is different than the love we experience in relationships. Even within our relationships, the kinds of love we experience will vary significantly. We love our parents differently than we love our spouse, and we love our children differently than we love our pastor, fellow church members, or coworkers.



Within a marriage relationship, what kind of love should a husband have for his wife? Or a wife for her husband? What does such love look like? If we are to obey God’s command to love our spouse, we must be able to answer these questions. The New Testament was originally written almost entirely in Greek, a language that contains four different words for love: eros, phileo (click for the Greek), storge, and agape (click for the Greek). Let’s define and examine a biblical picture of each. With a clearer understanding of three of those words for love—eros, storge, and phileo—we will be better prepared to understand the superior form of love: agape.



Why is it so important for us to understand agape? This word appears twice in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love [agape] your wives, just as Christ also loved [agape] the church and gave Himself for her.” Agape is the love husbands are commanded to have for their wives, and it is the love Christ has for His bride, the church. It is also the love God has for each of us: “God so loved [agape] the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). We must understand agape so husbands will know how to love their wives, so wives will know how they should be loved by their husbands, and so we can all realize the greatness of God’s love for us.



DEFINING THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE



Eros—Physical Attraction



Eros is the only Greek term for love that is not used directly in Scripture. The word refers specifically to physical attraction or romantic love. We will examine it fully in chapter 19 when we discuss a biblical view of sex.



Storge—Natural Affection



Storge refers to natural affection, or familial love, such as the love a parent feels toward a child, or the love siblings feel toward each other. The word storge is not used in Scripture in its simple form; it appears twice as astorgos, which is storge with an a in front of it, making it mean the opposite—without love or without natural affection. The apostle Paul uses this term when he states that people will not “retain God in their knowledge [therefore He] gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness…[including being] unloving [astorgos]” (Romans 1:28, 31). Paul uses the word again when he writes to Timothy: “In the last days perilous times will come: for men will be…unloving” (2 Timothy 3:1, 3).



In both instances, Paul wasn’t simply saying that people are unloving. Rather, he was saying people will lack the natural love or affection that family members should have for each other.