It’s our 200th episode and I’m sharing what *really* happens when you upgrade from control to power, the suck of growth as a perfectionist and ultimately finding empowerment in what initially seemed like total ruin. Join me in choosing to rise to the occasion of being a perfectionist as I unravel the messy striving, intrusive thoughts, why we hold so tightly to things that matter the least and how to let go.
Here's a sneak peek at what you'll learn in this episode:
- Start appreciating what you have: Your perfectionism and the compulsion that propels you to explore endless possibilities.
- Play to win, not avoiding losing: Understanding the difference between being driven by satisfying success and being driven by the avoidance of failure.
- Retroactive growth: Seeing failures as new lines of discovery and setbacks like scratch-off lottery tickets.
Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you join Perfectionism Leveraged you get customized 1-1 coaching + the EPIC SKILLS that LIBERATE you from intrusive thoughts, self-sabotage and put you back in command. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/contact
Featured On Episode 200:
Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 200 Timestamps:
00:00-Striving becomes Self-sabotage
04:15-Once Upon A Perfectionist named CLG
6:06-Black and white thinking
10:38-How to stop overthinking
12:22-Embodied Presence Interoception Connection (E.P.I.C. Framework™)
13:20-Shifting from Shame Avoidance to Satisfying Success
14:42-Practice Makes Permanent
15:51-Intrusive Thoughts
17:27-When you are enjoying your perfectionism instead of enduring
20:43-Fixed Mindset
25:00-How To Feel Good NOW
Highly Credible Sources Referenced in This Episode:
Boon Chong Ng. (2018). The Neuroscience of Growth Mindset and Intrinsic Motivation. Brain Sciences, 8(2), 20–20. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci8020020
Dorevitch, B., Buck, K., Fuller‐Tyszkiewicz, M., Phillips, L., & Krug, I. (2020). Maladaptive Perfectionism and Depression: Testing the Mediating Role of Self-Esteem and Internalized Shame in an Australian Domestic and Asian International University Sample. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01272
Dweck, C. S., Walton, G. M., & Cohen, G. L. (2014). Academic Tenacity Mindsets and Skills that Promote Long-Term Learning. Retrieved from https://ed.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/manual/dweck-walton-cohen-2014.pdf
Jung, C. G. (1957). The transcendent function.
Montano, L. T. (2023). The Relationship of Perfectionism and Peace of Mind: The Mediating Role of Implicit Theories of Intelligence. Psychological Studies, 68(3), 447–462. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12646-023-00739-1
Moser, J. S., Dougherty, A., Mattson, W. I., Katz, B., Moran, T. P., Guevarra, D. A., … Kross, E. (2017). Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI. Scientific Reports, 7(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-017-04047-3
Stiles, W. B., Glick, M. J., Osatuke, K., Hardy, G. E., Shapiro, D. A., Agnew-Davies, R., Rees, A., & Barkham, M. (2004). Patterns of Alliance Development and the Rupture-Repair Hypothesis: Are Productive Relationships U-Shaped or V-Shaped? Journal of Counseling Psychology, 51(1), 81–92. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.51.1.81
Stoeber, J., Madigan, D. J., & Lazaros Gonidis. (2020). Perfectionism is adaptive and maladaptive, but what’s the combined effect? Personality and Individual Differences, 161, 109846–109846. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.109846
Perfectionism Rewired Ethics + Transparency:
Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by Perfectionist Solutions and is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionism affirming lens.
What does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionism affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits to be “fixed” and nobody is a victim of perfectionism. Instead you are fully in charge of YOU, given tools for agency and perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neuorinclusivity movement that sees all humans as uniquely wired individuals who all experience the world differently.
