Start with the differences between how men and women tend to think or approach life.
- Broad generalities about men and women in relationships don't apply to every couple.
- Contrasts between men and women: builders vs. beautifiers, risk takers vs. nest builders, task-focused vs. relationship-focused, big picture vs. detail-oriented, factual vs. intuitive, compartmentalized vs. centralizing.
- Men tend to be the head of the home, and women tend to be the heart of the home.
- Opposites often attract in couples, with one being more of a thinker and the other more of a feeler, both holding equal importance.
When it comes to these differences, how have you seen it show up?
- Common patterns in differences between spouses: husband focusing on big-picture decisions and retirement planning, while the wife handles day-to-day expenses.
- Husband taking the lead on significant purchases like homes or cars, while the wife accumulates expenses over time through household shopping.
- Highlighting the variance in risk tolerance between men and women, emphasizing the value of compromise for the family's benefit.
- Men tend to have a higher risk tolerance than women do. And yet, if they will come together and meet in the middle, they often find that the compromise is really the best fit for the family.
What are some of the reasons that you've found that couples operate this way where only one of them is overseeing the investments?
- The big one is busyness and the need for task specialization in marriage.
- But there's also a really positive reason that sometimes this occurs, and that is that there's something in the heart of a man I think, in particular, that wants to provide for his family, and feels blessed when his wife trusts Him with the investment decisions and feel confident that he's able to do that.
You talked to us about how men being the head of the home and the woman being the heart of the home, we might think of that as thinker and feeler. So how does that apply specifically to investing?
- Thinking spouse focuses on technical, factual aspects like return, risk, lock-up period, and fees.
- Feeling spouse emphasizes safety, availability for family needs, and alignment with family values, including social responsibility.
- Both men and women can value socially responsible investing, but research highlights its importance to women.
Let's talk about some of the potential dangers of having just one spouse make the investment and long-term planning decisions.
- Longevity: Women tend to live longer than men, so if one spouse handles everything and passes away, the surviving spouse may struggle with complex financial matters during a time of grief.
- Responsibility imbalance: If the feeling spouse becomes too passive in financial matters, it can place a heavy burden on the thinking spouse, potentially leading to dissatisfaction with the outcomes and marital friction.
- Ignoring spouse's intuition: The thinking spouse, while being financially savvy, may overlook their partner's concerns or intuitions, which can lead to poor decisions. Listening to each other's input is essential.
What is the potential benefit of making both investment and major financial decisions together?
- God created men and women with different and complementary attributes, representing different facets of God's image.
- Reflects the biblical principle that two are better than one.
- Supports and strengthens the marriage, particularly in significant investment decisions.
- Encourages prayerful decision-making and unity in financial matters.
For that spouse that's hearing this today and says, Yes, that's what I desire. But her spouse, let's say, has been managing everything. And she wants to be a part of it. How would you encourage her to approach that conversation?
- Encourage the spouse to approach the conversation delicately.
- Suggest a gentle approach that acknowledges the partner's service.
- Express the desire to learn and become involved in financial matters.
- Seek the partner's guidance in getting educated and engaged with investment.
If you're a woman in the Denver or Colorado Springs area, and you'd like to meet Rachel and hear more on this topic, The National Christian Foundation will be hosting two women's events October 4, 5. Rachel will be speadking she'll be diving deeper on the topic of men, women and investing for impact. You can request information at Rocky Mountains at NCFgiving.com or via email at rockymountains@ncfgiving.com.
You can find out more about Rachel at www.wealthsq.com.
On today’s program, Rob also answers listener questions:
- Should I withdraw my money from my fixed annuity and invest it in something else with potentially higher interest rates despite facing surrender charges?
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