OrEd-T-24.3-Treachery of Specialness.2
19. I will think of the loveliness that I will see in myself, when I have looked on my brother as a friend. He is the enemy of my specialness, but only a friend to what is real in me. The attack I thought I made on him did not take away the gift that God would have him give to me. His need to give it is as great as mine to have it. I let him forgive me all my specialness, making me whole, one in mind with him. He waits for my forgiveness so he can return it back to me. It is not God, but only me, who has condemned God's Son, in order to save the Son's specialness and kill his divine Self.
20. I have come too far along the way of truth to falter now. Just one more step and every remnant of the fear of God will melt away in love. Mine and my brother's specialness are enemies, denying they are the same, and bound to kill each other in hate. God and His Heaven seem remote and unreachable to the illusions of ourselves that have reached this final obstacle. However, here in this holy place, truth stands waiting to receive us both with silent blessing. I leave all illusions of myself outside this place, and come in honesty and hope. Outside this real and all encompassing peace, there is nothing.
21. The savior from my specialness is here. He needs my acceptance of him as part of myself, and I need the same acceptance from him. We are like to God as God is like to Himself. God is not special, for He would not keep any part of what He is for Himself alone, but gives all He is to His Son. He willed His Son be like Him. So, my brother is not special, like myself, and possesses everything, including myself. And it is this I fear.
22. Let me remember that God gave Himself to both of us in equal love, that we might share the universe with Him. God chose that love could never be divided and kept separate from what it is and will be forever. I will give to my brother only what he has. I am my brother's, for a part of love was not denied to him. I have no loss because he is complete. What has been given him makes me complete, as it does him. God's love gave me to my brother, and him to me, because God gave Himself to us. What is the same as God is one with Him, with the hope of peace in sight at last. Only specialness could make the truth that God and we are one, seem anything but Heaven.
23. Any gift of love that has the seal of specialness on it offers only treachery to the giver and the receiver. Any relationship that holds dear the purpose of specialness clings to murder as safety's weapon. Each believer in its power serves it faithfully, seeking for bargains and for compromise that would establish sin as the substitute for love. It is the great defender of all illusions from the "threat" of love. Specialness is the seal of treachery upon the gift of love, where veiled eyes look upon sights of death.
24. The hope of specialness makes it seem possible that God made the body as the prison-house which keeps His Son from Him. For specialness demands a special place where God cannot enter, and a hiding-place where none is welcome but my tiny self. Everything here is sacred only unto me and me alone, apart and separate from all my brothers, safe from all intrusions of sanity upon illusions, safe from God, and safe for everlasting conflict. Here, I closed the gates of hell upon myself, to rule my special kingdom in madness and in loneliness, apart from God, away from truth, and away from my salvation.
25. The key I threw away God gave to my brother, whose holy hands would offer it to me when I am ready to accept God's plan for my salvation, instead of mine. This readiness could only be reached through the experience of all my misery, and the awareness that my plan has failed to bring me peace and joy of any kind, and will fail forever. I travel through this despair now, yet it is only an illusion of despair. The death of specialness is not my death, but my awakening into life eternal. I emerge from an illusion of what I am, to the acceptance of myself as God created me.
