OrEd-T-24.4-Forgiveness of Specialness.

26. Forgiveness is the end of specialness. Forgiveness is release from all illusions, and that is why it is impossible to forgive partly. Whoever clings to illusions, keeping just one error for himself as still lovely, cannot see himself as sinless. He makes the error a sin, and calls it "unforgivable". He cannot wholly forgive, because he would not receive forgiveness for himself. For he would surely receive complete forgiveness the moment he gave it. His secret guilt would disappear, forgiven by himself. Illusions disappear when they are forgiven.

27. My cherished form of specialness, I have made a sin. Inviolate it stands, strongly defended with all my puny might against the Will of God. And so it stands against myself, my enemy, not God's. It seems to split me off from God, making me separate from Him, as its defender. I would protect what God did not create. And yet this idol that seems to give me power, has taken my power away. For I have given my brother's birthright to this idol, leaving him alone and unforgiven, and myself in sin beside him, both of us in misery before the idol that cannot save us.

28. Just a word, a little whisper that I don't like, a circumstance that doesn't suit me, or an event that I did not anticipate, upsets my world and hurls it into chaos. My world can be thrown off balance by anything. However, truth is not vulnerable, frail, open to attack, and that is the truth in me. Truth is perfectly unmoved and undisturbed by illusions. Specialness rests on nothing and can never be stable. It must tip and turn and whirl about with every breeze, no matter how big it seems to be.

29. Without foundation nothing is secure. Would God have left His Son in such a state, where safety has no meaning? No, His Son is safe, resting in Him. It is only my specialness that is attacked, by everything that walks, breathes, creeps or crawls, or even lives at all. Nothing is safe from its attack, and it is safe from nothing. It will forever more be unforgiving, for that is what it is--a secret vow that what God wants for me will never be and that I will oppose His Will forever. Nor is it possible that God and His Son can ever be the same if specialness stands between them, making them "enemies."

30. God asks for my forgiveness. He would have no alien will of separation rise between what He wills for me and what I will. Our wills are the same, for neither one wills specialness. They could not will the death of love itself. Yet, they are powerless to make attack upon illusions. They are not bodies. As One Mind they wait for all illusions to be brought to them and left behind. Salvation does not even challenge death. And God, Who knows that death is not really my will, must say, "Thy will be done," because I think it is my will.

31. I forgive the great Creator of the universe, the Source of life, of love and holiness, the perfect Father of a perfect Son. I forgive Him for my illusions of my specialness. Here is the hell I chose to be my home, for He didn't choose this for me, and I do not ask that He enter here. The way is barred to love and to salvation. Yet, if I will release my brother from the depths of hell, I have forgiven God, Whose Will it is I rest forever in the arms of peace, in perfect safety, and with not one thought of specialness, hate or malice, to mar my rest. I forgive the Holy One the specialness He could not give, and which I made instead.

32. The special ones are all asleep, surrounded by a world of loveliness they do not see. Freedom, peace and joy stand beside the place where they sleep, calling them to come forth and waken from their dream of death. Yet they hear nothing. They are lost in dreams of specialness. They hate the call that would awaken them, and they curse God because He did not make their dream reality. Curse God and die, but only in the dream, for God did not make death. I will open my eyes a little and see the savior God gave to me, that I might look on him and give him back his birthright. It is mine.

33. The slaves of specialness will be free. Such is the Will of God and of His Son. God would not condemn Himself to hell and to damnation. And I do not will that this be done to my savior. God calls to me from my brother, to join His Will, and save us both from hell. He ask of me only that my will be done. I see the print of nails upon his hands that he holds out for my forgiveness. God asks my mercy on His Son and on Himself. The print of nails are on my hands as well. They ask for my love that I may love myself. I will not deny them. I will not love my specialness instead of them. I forgive my Father, for it was not His will that I be crucified.