OrEd-T-24.5-Specialness and Salvation

34. Specialness is a lack of trust in anyone except myself, for faith is invested in myself. Everything else becomes my enemy, feared, dangerous, hated and worthy of destruction. Whatever gentleness it offers is only a deception, but its hate is real. In danger of destruction, it must kill, and I am drawn to it to kill it first. And such is guilt's attraction. Here, death is enthroned as savior, crucifixion is redemption now, and salvation is destruction of the world, except myself.

35. Specialness is the purpose of the body. And it is this that makes it frail and helpless in its own defense. It was conceived to make me frail and helpless. The goal of separation is the body's curse. Yet, bodies have no goal. Purpose is of the mind. Minds cannot change their attributes and what they are, but what they hold as purpose can be changed as they desire, and the body's states must shift accordingly. Of itself the body can do nothing. If I see it as means to hurt, the body is hurt. If I see it as means to heal, the body is healed.

36. I can only hurt myself. This has been said before, but it is still difficult to grasp. To minds intent on specialness, it is meaningless and impossible. Yet to those minds wishing to heal and not attack, it is true and obvious. The purpose of attack, or healing, is in the mind, and the effects are felt in the mind. The mind is not limited, so harmful purpose hurts the mind as one. This makes no sense at all to specialness. But it makes perfect sense to miracles. For miracles are merely the change of purpose from hurt to healing.

37. The faith that I have given to specialness has left me bankrupt, and my treasure house empty, with an open door inviting everything that would disturb my peace to enter and destroy. Yet, no comfort has ever been in illusions. Would I keep from my Father the gift He asks of me, and give it to specialness instead? Given to Him, the universe is mine. Offered to illusions, no gifts can be returned. This shift in purpose does "endanger" specialness, but only in the sense that all illusions are "threatened" by the truth. Illusions cannot stand before the truth.

38. I will not consider how to reach the attainment of salvation. But, I will consider, and consider well, whether it is my wish that I see my brother sinless. To specialness the answer must be "no, never." Sin, if it were possible, would be its friend, and a sinless brother is its enemy. My brother's sins justify my specialness, and give it the meaning that truth denies. However, if he is sinful, then my reality is only a dream of specialness, which lasts an instant and crumbles into dust. All that is false proclaims his sins are real. All that is real proclaims he is sinless.

39. In this shifting world which has no real meaning, only this is certain:
When I suffer pain of any kind, and/or when peace is not with me entirely, I will have seen some sin within my brother. Because of his sin, my specialness seems safe and I rejoice. And thus, I crucify the one God has given me, and save what I appointed to be my savior instead. And specialness is his 'enemy' as well as mine. So I am bound with him, for we are one. I do not wish to defend this senseless dream in which I remain beyond salvation, and God is bereft of what He loves.