Welcome to the first Secret Story Time, our showcase for the kind of dark history, true crime, and supernatural fuckery that creepy geniuses love. This week’s story comes to us from the shadow of Rio’s Christ the Redeemer statue, and wow—is it a positively Biblical shit show. It stars current Brazilian politician and gospel music star Flordelis and her 50+ children in an episode that’s one part Brady Bunch, one part evangelical telenovela. Researching this literally had us up late translating Portuguese newspapers just to get every drop of tea...and, honestly, it was worth it cuz this particular true crime tea is STRONG.

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