Dysfunctional: Why Dating Is Not Working



Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (NLT)



There’s the world ways and there’s the words way



4 Ways Of The World



1. If you’re not dating something is wrong with you



1 Corinthians 7:38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. (NIV)



2. Dating someone is going to make me whole



3. Dating is purely for fun 



3A. You date people who are not Christ followers



2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (NIV)



3B. You engage in sex



1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (NIV)



1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. (NIV)



4. You overlook the warning signs 



4 Ways Of The Word



1. Have a dating plan 



Psalms 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. (NIV)



1A. Plan for when you will start dating



1B. Plan for who you will date



1C. Plan for how you will date



1D. Plan for the physical 



Song Of Solomon 2:7 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right. (NLT)



2. Go slow and get to know 

Matthew 7:16-20 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. (NIV)



2A. Get to know the person 



2B. Get to know their friends



Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (NIV)



2C. Get to know their family




2D. Get to know their money management



3. Focus on becoming the right person not finding the right person 



Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (NLT)



4. Surround yourself with wise people



Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (NIV)