Building Confidence in Young Athletes
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About 70% of kids drop out of sports by the age of 14, and of those, twice as many girls drop out than boys. That's the word from Nicole McCormack, general manager of brand solutions at TeamSnap, a technology platform for sports parents and coaches. Why do girls drop out and what can parents and coaches do to keep them in sports?
Honest Game, a female-owned sports tech company, conducted research in 12 states to date and has found that about 50% of high schools in the states studied lack an educational pathway for students to play NCAA college sports. This issue disproportionally impacts kids at under-resourced schools, where as many as one in two athletes lack the courses required by the NCAA. Joyce Anderson, co-founder and COO of Honest Game, explains how Honest Game can help ensure athletes complete the required courses.
As an attorney, Judie Saunders represents youth athletes in civil court, internal investigations, mediations and arbitrations. Bullying by coaches, physical and verbal abuse and sexual abuse are some of the issues she addresses for her youth athlete clients. Racial slurs and body shaming are also issues she addresses. Saunders, who serves as co-chair of Griesing Law’s confidential & sensitive investigations practice group, gives tips to parents about the legal avenues they can pursue for their sports kids. She stresses the need to remove kids from teams if they feel unsafe.
New concussion rules and regulations can build respect in young athletes for their opponents. In addition, the rules don’t hurt kids’ other mental game skills. That’s the word from Thomas Heiden, who played college hockey at Notre Dame and has coached many different sports for a few decades. He’s also a trial lawyer with Latham and Watkins and has tried high-profile sports lawsuits, including a high school concussion class action lawsuit.
Kids are coming to Skyhawks Sports Academy camps with confidence challenges, says Sarah Kelley-Reid, a sports parent and the East Coast regional manager at Skyhawks Sports Academy, which provides skill-based sports experiences for kids 4-14.She describes how teaching life skills--including respect, teamwork and inclusion--helps builds sports kids' confidence.
Recruiters and coaches look for a number of mental game traits when they’re evaluating athletes, says David Kmiecik, senior recruiting manager for Next College Student Athlete (NCSA). He describes how recruiters identify these traits and answers the question: How can athletes (and their parents) look their best in front of recruiters and college coaches?
Perfectionist sports kids are those most likely to seek help from Audrey Grunst, a mental performance coach, therapist and owner owner at Simply Bee. She's a former mental performance coach for Northwestern Women’s Volleyball Program. How do you help perfectionist kids? Start by saying "I love you, no matter what!"
Teams can keep score, even when kids are young, and the players will still have fun and learn physical and mental game skills. That's the message from former Walt Disney Studios Executive Sasha Graham, a sports mom, former youth sports coach and author of “Whitney Wins Everything.” Keeping score means young athletes learn how to cope with mistakes and losses. And they're better team players, she argues.
Baseball can be a "self-esteem destroying sport" because mistakes are a big part of the game, says Josh Thole, former catcher for the New York Mets and Toronto Blue Jays. But parents can help ensure the sport doesn't hurt their kids' self-esteem, he says. First of all, they shouldn't focus on mistakes, but instead, should concentrate on helping sports kids move past mistakes.
Pickleball’s popularity is growing quickly, with many schools offering it for the first time. The sport is easy to learn, doesn't require much equipment and is accessible to kids of all income levels. It offers the opportunity to build confidence and make new friends, say Mike Nielsen, the AAU’s new pickleball chief, and InPickleball president Richard Porter.
Stereotypes about girls in sports hurt girls' confidence, dreams and performance, says Donny DeDonatis III, CEO of the United States Specialty Sports Association (USSSA), a former pro athlete and the dad of twins in youth sports. He describes his worries about how such stereotypes affect his own daughter, age 7, and what he's doing to ensure girls and women have equal opportunities in sports.
What are the habits of supportive sports parents? Sharkie Zartman, a college professor, UCLA and USA national team volleyball athlete, author, coach and radio host explains how to best support young athletes.
A study by the Aspen Institute and Utah State University–commissioned by TeamSnap–revealed what parents want most from youth sports and how the pandemic affected kids’ ability to meet those goals. Team Snap’s survey showed that parents, most of all, want kids to have fun, said Peter Frintzilas, CEO of TeamSnap, a youth sports management app. Only 54 percent of parents said their kids are still having fun. Only 52 percent said that participating in youth sports is having a positive impact on kids’ mental health. And 52 percent said they felt like their young athletes were performing at pre-pandemic levels, meaning they hadn’t improved. How can parents help kids whose confidence and performance were undermined during the pandemic?
Coming out of the pandemic provides a much-needed opportunity to re-design youth sports in a way that provides kids with more fun and human connection, and ultimately, more confidence. That’s the word from Meredith Whitley, PhD, associate professor in Adelphi’s School of Health Sciences and co-editor of the Journal of Sport for Development. She provides tips for building connection and giving kids more control of their experience. She also suggests ways to create an inclusive and supportive team culture.
Communicating and connecting with sports kids is an important bonus of youth sports. Harley Rotbart, pediatrician, sports parent and author of the bestselling No Regrets Parenting says it’s important for parents to take advantage of the opportunities to connect with kids while helping them participate in youth sports. The car ride is one great opportunity, he says. During this “unprecedented” pandemic, it’s also critical to help sports kids cope with the challenges of social distancing and political battles at home, in school and at sports over mask wearing and vaccinations, he says.
In their efforts to help sports kids develop a growth mindset, parents and coaches should keep in mind that giving too many compliments can get kids "stuck" thinking they don't need to grow in certain areas, says Michaela Renee Johnson, bestselling author and a top iTunes podcaster with her ”But Why” podcast which encourages people to look at life with a growth mindset. She’s also a licensed therapist.
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James Lowe, aka Coach Ballgame, combines his creative skills with his love of baseball to build in sports kids a love of the game. He creates "sandlots" that allow kids to play informally on empty fields and adds a theatrical touch to his coaching to ensure kids are having fun. One parent told him, "You've turned my kid from a gamer into a baseball player."
High-fiving young athletes while staying silent is a powerful way to get kids excited about their sport, says Jarrett Robertson, a former pro hockey player and author of "Make it a Great Day: How to Feel Awesome So That You Can Help Others." He shares his strategies for ensuring kids love their sport.
Often, girls and young women compare themselves to their teammates or opponents, which hurts their confidence in sports. Mothers also compare their daughters to others in their sport, creating additional challenges for the girls, says Breanne Smedley, a certified female athlete Confidence Coach who works to empower female athletes.
When parents and their young athletes gain some understanding of how the nervous system works, they can better cope with fight, flight and freeze reactions. Sports performance consultant Pomai Miyata explains that nervous energy can be helpful. But when kids freeze, their nervous system is working against them. She gives tips for helping kids who tend to freeze up.
Often, parents focus too much on ensuring their kids are having fun in youth sports, which results in kids dropping out if the experience isn't fun or entertaining, says Jonathan Edwards, Olympian, speaker, coach and author of "An Athlete's Guide to Winning in Sports and Life." But kids don't drop out of math or English when they're no longer fun. What should parents focus on instead?
Body image worries. Fears of excelling and being chosen to lead. These issues undermine girls’ experiences in sports. Girls and young women not only worry about how they look; they’re concerned that other girls will be angry with them for doing well and being chosen for leadership positions, says Breanne Smedley, a certified female athlete Confidence Coach, former college volleyball player, youth sports coach and founder of The Elite Competitor. Girls and young women also mirror their mothers’ confidence issues, she says.
Communicating feelings, deep breathing and exercise are just three activities that help boost resilience in sports kids, says Dr. Randall Bell, a former youth sports coach and sports parent, a socio-economist and author of "Post-Traumatic Thriving: The Art, Science, & Stories of Resilience." Coaches and parents can help kids bounce back after setbacks by encouraging them to talk about how they feel, helping them practice deep breathing and ensuring they get exercise. It's also important for coaches and parents to acknowledge kids' feelings and use positive language, he says. Coaches naturally help accomplish these goals by providing an outlet for exercise, holding team meetings and being good listeners, he says.
Parents need to remember that sports should be the kids' journey, not the parents', says Amy Oliphant, a former Division 1 tennis player and founder, Transcend Mental Training, which provides mental conditioning coaching. What other tips does the youth sports coach and mom to four athletes suggest? Kids should play multiple sports, rather than specializing early and should help young athletes focus on the process.
"Trust the training," says Mark Jeffery, a London-based former Army officer and Army tennis champion who is helping organize an online summit, "Winning Summit," which includes a Sept. 19 event for sports parents. https://earlybird.winningsummit.com/ Jeffery explains how sports kids can turn off their tendency to overthink and just go for it, or trust the training. His suggestions are based on his experiences as an Army officer in the UK.
When gymnast Simone Biles experienced the "twisties" during the 2021 Olympics and withdrew, was the move due to a mental toughness lapse or a mental health challenge? Lisa Cohn chats with her brother, mental game expert Dr. Patrick Cohn, about the incident. What can sports parents learn from Biles' experience? Did Biles let down her country or was she brave to express her fears and difficulties?
Chris Meyer coached his son's team for nine years, from kindergarten through 8th grade. In this interview, the author of "Four Months...and a Lifetime," explains how he focused on teaching the young athletes life lessons. He reveals what he learned from his players, and gives sports parents tips about ensuring their kids are happy and confident in sports.
Chris Meyer coached his son's team for nine years, from kindergarten through 8th grade. In this interview, the author of "Four Months...and a Lifetime," explains how he focused on teaching the young athletes life lessons. He reveals what he learned from his players, and gives sports parents tips about ensuring their kids are happy and confident in sports.
Chris Meyer coached his son's team for nine years, from kindergarten through 8th grade. In this interview, the author of "Four Months...and a Lifetime," explains how he focused on teaching the young athletes life lessons. He reveals what he learned from his players, and gives sports parents tips about ensuring their kids are happy and confident in sports.
