Kagro in the Morning
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It's Wednesday! DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN are still hanging in there https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/3/27/2231771/-Abbreviated-Pundit-Roundup-New-Jersey-sees-the-good-guys-win-and-so-do-NBC-journalists?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=top_news_slot_6&pm_medium=web, although Greg couldn’t croak through more than a half hour without croaking. Ronna McRomney McDaniel is no longer hanging in there at NBC. NBC hoped to find the journalistic balance between liars and non-liars, but somehow came to the same conclusion as Donald Trump. People who don’t have to work with McDaniel are now irate. The post-Ronna RNC is making certain all new hires will be Big Liars from the start. The Democratic machine in New Jersey stripped its gears trying to haul Tammy Murphy through their primary. Also breaking down are House Republicans, who quit being a functioning majority party, but might soon become a completely dysfunctional minority party. Murdery Traitor Greene says Mike Gallagher can’t quit before she expels him. Has anyone thought of how nice “Speaker Greene” would sound right now? You win some, you lose some. Alabama wins Democrat Marilyn Lands, who ran on IVF insanity. Alabama loses Republican David Cole, who was just arrested on felony voter fraud. The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals holds the stay, er, stays the hold https://www.texastribune.org/2024/03/27/fifth-circuit-texas-immigration-law/… Texas still can’t arrest and deport migrants on their own. Ken Paxton’s been living his best life the last 9 years since being charged with securities fraud. He can now continue that life. Is it possible that Donald Trump can destroy every single thing, while also making money from every single thing? Yes.
It’s Tuesday! DAVID WALDMAN is back, JOAN MCCARTER is not, and like Greg yesterday, Covid, and of course Donald Trump, is to blame. Get well everybody! (Not you, Donald) Broke-ass dotard Donald Trump doesn’t need my well-wishes. That SOB is the luckiest guy in the world. Have you ever had a fine reduced by 2/3rds? That cut was because Trump is not trustable. Have you ever had a fine reduced because you weren’t trusted? Stock related to Truth Social jumped 35% after Trump’s bond was reduced. Have you ever made $3 billion from a multi-million dollar losing company whose stock was named after your previous multi-million dollar losing company? MAGAs will lose their life savings, but after all, that is their intention. Gops are not as lucky as Donald, nor as flagellant as MAGA. Sad! It’s not hard out there for a Ho. Not James and Allyson Ho, the husband and wife, lawyer and judge team trying to take out mifepristone. House Gops hope to teach Merrick Garland a thing or two about Constitutional law. A powerless cargo ship calling for May Day drifted into the columns supporting the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. They are finding cars in the river, but sadly are still missing people. Israel is finding few who agree with them; therefore, they have decided to withdraw from asking anyone’s opinion.
It’s Monday! DAVID WALDMAN is back and sounds recovered from the cold. GREG DWORKIN is back and not quite recovered from Covid. Get well Greg! You heard it speculated upon here first: Tammy Tammany Murphy will drop out of her U.S. Senate race. https://newjerseyglobe.com/congress/tammy-murphy-will-drop-out-of-u-s-senate-race/ Mike Gallagher couldn’t take MTG MAGA any longer, and takes Gops down to a one point reason for existence. Well, today is the day Don Poorleone’s 50 years of grifting finally comes to an end… Drat! TFFG escapes yet again! Trump’s slime sure makes him one slippery devil. Still, all of this can’t be good news for Trump, right? Hard work and results will soon pay off for Joe Biden, right? Soon? Please? The recent concert shooting in Moscow leaves over 130 dead, some are at fault, some are being blamed. Jared Kushner dreams of all the beautiful (profitable) sunsets along the Gaza Strip, which could be oh so beautiful (profitable) without those Palestinians. Israel is an early investor in the dream. Palestinians will of course be allowed to return, as someone will need to clean pools and fold towels. Paul Manafort is the only one who really knows what he is up to. What’s Stewart Stewie Rah-Rah Rahr been up to lately? Probably no good… maybe a little good, but mostly bad. New documents detail more of the inner workings https://youtu.be/6o0JNGujalg?si=8gkHW6d-NV8Gf062 of that fraternal order, “Society for American Civic Renewal”.
It’s yet another Friday spent on the brink of a (partial) government shutdown, now with extra conservative “outrage!” By the time it was all over, there were threats of another motion to vacate the Speaker’s chair, though the situation was — as usual — mostly their own fault. And with Israeli PM Netanyahu possibly addressing Congress soon, it’s as good a time as any to remind everyone that the Speaker of the House needn’t be a Member. Which makes a good enough segue to noting that the US has taken its first steps toward officially calling for a cease fire in Gaza, via the UN Security Council. In new versions of old news, we’ve gotten a look at a White House valet’s testimony to the Jan. 6 committee. Republicans are hanging their hat (a dunce cap, really) on splitting hairs between this testimony and Cassidy Hutchinson’s. Meanwhile, NY AG Letitia James has registered the fraud judgment against TFG with Westchester County, a move that facilitates the seizure of his assets there, including a golf club and mansion. Andy why not color that news with some baseless speculation about ways Trump can offend the judicial system and shock America’s conscience even further, in scheming to avoid payment? Let’s do it! No week would be complete without reminding ourselves that Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™. This week brings us an example from crucial Waukesha Milwaukee County. Many people are saying that if Merrick Garland were to walk off a cliff, he would do so with great care and precision. Still others are saying that people may be jumping willy-nilly off cliffs to get out of Aileen Cannon’s chambers.
Those of you tuning in to hear DAVID WALDMAN’s bracket picks might be disappointed today, but it is a good bet that GREG DWORKIN will always be in KITM’s final four. There’re big bargains in real estate starting this weekend! Sure, Trump National is right around the corner, but Mar-a-Lago could make a pretty nice World Headquarters for someone if the price was right. Of course, TFFG might have a few mortgages on each, and a few different people might already think they own them, so cash might be better. Too bad Trump’s ego has no resale value. Jonathan Turley really feels sorry for Donald, but Jonathan Turley is an idiot. Donald Trump isn’t the only guy in a money pinch. Trump’s old buddy Rudy Giuliani has so many creditors up in his streams, he won’t need Flomax for a month. Rudy’s old buddy Lev Parnas testified on behalf of Democrats in the Joe Biden impeachment buffoonery, and literally pointed out a few of his old buddies… old comrades more precisely… in the Republican seats. Trump set his mob on foot long ago, so no need to parse his words, words have no meaning for them anymore https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/we-polled-thousands-of-voters-during-the-gop-primary-season-here-s-what-we-learned/ar-BB1kf7U6?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=d373ff8ddb03446d8bab553b82284510&ei=53. One need only to talk to swing voters, and not many of them either. On the other hand, California’s Proposition 1 almost swung to failure this week. 80% of House Republicans want to cut Social Security and shut down the government. Democrats might be willing to support Ukraine aid in the form of a loan, if that will keep government going. David pursues the topic of “stays” just a little bit longer https://youtu.be/P5BGGXoLIYI?si=Gj-mnQ-4IpRMJYNz, in order to clear up more of the legal fog, and reveal mess at the center of Texas law SB 4 .
Breaking news: Immediately following GREG DWORKIN’s exposé on New Jersey’s county-line ballots, the New Jersey Legislature announced a redesign! Yep, it is one of those Wednesdays after one of those Tuesdays. Did Donald Trump lose? Is Trump losing? Is there some small sign somewhere that he might lose? Let us not assume too much from polling at this time, because, well, when we assume… But! Just a few of those sweet, sweet Haley voters and... Remember when Mike Pence’s affirmation was good as gold? This time no “endorsement” for Donald! Sure, “support”, of course, support, but Mike isn’t going to go overboard here. Michigan state Senator Ed McBroom was torn apart by MAGA for 99% loyalty to Trump and has since returned to 100% Trump says 2024 will be rigged. Will that reduce voter turnout? No. Trump’s mob has already had its rabble roused. A word of encouragement here or there is all they require at this point. At least Sherrod Brown has a whack job to run against. Jared Kushner knows that Gaza would be the world’s vacation destination, if it wasn’t for all those Gazans... Well, as luck would have it, a lot of prime real estate has been opening up recently. Peter Navarro was locked up... kinda. See? It can be done. Now he plots his escape. Paul Manafort sort of went to prison also, but it looks as if he might be a recidivist, if Vlad Putin can pony up the cash. DAVID WALDMAN helps us understand the confusion in the nation’s courts. You may not be any less confused once you listen, but you’ll understand the confusion much better: Stay! Ah, just a little bit longer... If states can’t be trusted to ban presidential candidates from their ballots, they probably shouldn’t be allowed to unilaterally declare wars upon foreign countries. Meanwhile, Eileen Cannon wants her jury to determine how dangerous classified information is, while remembering that Donald Trump has already determined how classified anything is and… Lawyers use technical terminology to describe Cannon’s judgment, such as “bizarre”, “insane”, “crazy”, “nuts” and “batshit”. Writ of mandamus, already, Jack. Other Trump cases are being described as “extraordinary”, “ill-advised” and “completely wacko” https://www.yahoo.com/news/experts-warn-trump-completely-wacko-181242214.html, but you know they can all be summed up with one word... or maybe two.
DAVID WALDMAN presents today’s https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/3/19/2230265/-Kagro-in-the-Morning-is-LIVE-at-9-AM-ET. When will Peter Navarro go to prison? Is he behind bars or still in the Papa John’s lot? Lock him up! By the way, is he allowed visitors? And what about Stefanie Lambert, and the rest of the gang? Did TFFG actually promise rally goers that they would bathe in blood? Not literally! Mike Pence doesn’t endorse getting spanked, but he does support it. Not... literally? Today we learn that JOAN MCCARTER knows a thing or two about herding cats. She and Mike Johnson know it can’t be done, especially in Johnson’s case, as those cats hate each other. Gops would rather do nothing than do anything, yet they need to do six things before the weekend! Perhaps some Democrats will help them out. Representatives in Congress and the Senate have learned that they can ignore a lot if they pretend it doesn’t exist. SCOTUS has learned that if they pretend something does exist, they can make a judgement about it. Or, if something contradictory exists. At least 6 out of 9 times. Or, if they believe hard enough. And if they don’t believe enough, maybe they won’t make a judgement about it at all. Even the Supreme Court’s conservatives are fed up with the garbage coming out of the 5th Circuit. Do Jewish people who don’t love Trump hate their religion? How about Jewish people who don’t love Israel? Seems to be an overgeneralization https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_diaspora.
has proven to be an overwhelming viral success! (For the viruses.) Rhinoviruses and coronaviruses are still no match for our heroes, DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN, bringing us the latest news from around the world and greater New Jersey. Andy Kim trounces Tammy Murphy at the Atlantic County Democratic convention, triggering a Jersey City Mayor Steve Fulop flipflop. Was the county-line ballot system fix in? Meanwhile, broke-ass dotard Donald Trump promises a bloodbath if he is not elected. What could TFFG possibly mean by that… other than what he said? With Trump it’s never what he says as much as who he’s talking to, and what they will believe they need to do to please him. Trump hopes to spring his best bath pourers out of prison, and replace them with whomever brings his Diet Coke late… That’s it! Mike Pence draws the line and will not endorse Trump. Of course, Mike didn’t say he “wouldn’t vote” for Donald, dude’s got a wife and kids after all. Turns out the FBI isn’t the woke bastion that everyone no one thought it was. When it was time to close in on Mar-a-Lago, MAGAs broke ranks. A Gop nominee wants a "firing squad" for liberals, and probably is also planning a bloodbath. It’s not just the violent felons, Trump wants Paul Manafort back on his campaign too. Trump and Manafort go way back, not as far back as Manafort and Putin, but seeing how Putin just squeaked by on winning another term, Vlad is probably in a good mood to put Paul back on the payroll.
DAVID WALDMAN guides us through the ides. The big story today concerns https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/middle-east-conflict-live-updates-aid-ship-nears-gaza-israel-to-discuss-cease-fire-proposal/ar-BB1jVAEC?ocid=msedgntp&pc=HCTS&cvid=40bf678b213145a8b714e0e6a364daaf&ei=32 Israel, which has been the big story over the lifetime of just about anyone reading this. How do Americans who are Jewish separate their religious, cultural, historical and family identities from Israel’s political, military and moral decisions? I don’t know! So, rather than me Presbyteriansplaining it all https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zionism to you, let me pass on these links: My Grandfather the Zionist, and The Shoah after Gaza. Being in Congress is about more than just getting elected, you’d think. But for Republicans, there really isn’t much more than the paycheck left to come in for, and even that isn’t enough for many. Alexander Yackov Smirnov picked up $600,000 the year he fed false info to the FBI, but that’s hardly his only source of income. Honest Don might get his lifelong wish, to die of old age before going to prison. President Joe Biden doesn't need guilty verdicts to win, but he sure could use a little more than he has at the moment. Voters still don’t have a clue about how much worse Trump’s second term would be.
* Today DAVID WALDMAN brings us the latest Pi news, which as it turns out, is constant. GREG DWORKIN remains on assignment, hopefully putting the final touches on his first-hand chronicle of the COVID-19 pandemic, an unfortunately enduring legacy of TFFG. Lauren Boebert does not enjoy being screwed by fellow Colorado Republican Ken Buck one bit. Bad news for Lauren, five other House Republicans might be following Ken shortly. Republicans attempt to screw each other so often, that most try to limit their private interactions to as few as possible. Donald Trump might not be senile, brain damage from syphilis could cause similar symptoms, for instance. The new Trump RNC plans to lose https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-loses-fox-news-voter-analysis-predicts-disastrous-defeat/ar-BB1jS58W, then sue. Nazis are bad guys. There seems to be quite a lot of data https://www.ushmm.org/ available to back that up, and yet constant reminders still need to be advanced as new suckers continue to be born every minute. A lot of people knew about Judd Blevins, but whoops, they elected him as city commissioner in Oklahoma. For years, Bibi Netanyahu convinced too many that he was trying to keep Israel from becoming radioactive, turns out he did just the opposite. Netanyahu has lost his way, and has even lost Chuck Schumer. So, what do we do? Ban TikTok, a move to cut off our economy to spite China’s.
Noted vaudevillian/podcaster DAVID WALDMAN takes your policy questions and song requests today. Hur der hur! Temporarily underemployed shill Robert Hur doesn’t seem to have the mind or memory for details that he had led us to believe. (The terrorist enclave previously known as “Twitter” keeps distracting me with this latest Gop Democratic PR bonanza.) That’s all just a tiny break from the Donald Trump legal news. You might ask, how will TFFG pay for all of this? Well, God has written Donald some big checks lately, mostly with parishioner money, and yet He does have some mysterious sources of capital, too. The RNC will need to cut to the bone if they hope to afford their pending Trump bills. New transcripts show Trump setting Jan 6 insurrectionists on foot and loading his lazy ass into an armored SUV to lead them. Trump lawyers hope he’ll shut his dotard mouth for just one second at his NYC criminal trial. Speaking of long sentences, Seth Meyers sums Donald up in one, while Trump just refers to himself as “Honest Don”. At least Peter Navarro goes to prison this month. The “Society for American Civic Renewal” is what they call the “fraternal organization” behind the Claremont Institute warlord think tank. The Supreme Court botched the legal reasoning and relied heavily on dubious policy arguments, so sue them, why don’t you?
* It’s Monday, the day of the week DAVID WALDMAN invites GREG DWORKIN to tell him and us what just happened. A strong union town in California, Hollywood, honored many of its hired hands last night in a big gala event. Host Jimmy Kimmel won the approval of everyone, with the exception of a washed-up disgruntled former employee https://twitter.com/ChattJazz/status/1767145164366086379. Probably not destined for an acting career was Senator Katie Britt, whose SOTU response was the stuff of legends. Not just her performance, her kitchen set, and her fundie baby voice come off fake, but Britt’s lying and manipulation were jarringly lame as well. Of course, this moves Katie up a few notches in the VP nomination race. As usual https://plus.thebulwark.com/p/biden-can-win, Joe Biden gave another great speech laying out the stark contrasts and dire stakes, and as always, pundits act as if that was his first time. People donating were absolutely listening though. Meanwhile, Donald Trump loves despots https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/11/politics/trump-despots-advisers-sound-alarm, cultivates lawsuits, remains a dotard. Boy, when people learn about all of this, and word gets out to MAGA… well, it won’t make much of a difference at all https://twitter.com/HotMoozik/status/1766989624742953047… but every vote counts, huh? It does seem that you can talk sense over and over and over and barely get through to people, but you can hope that maybe you are blazing the trail for those youngsters following in your footsteps.
DAVID WALDMAN missed President Joe Biden’s State of the Union speech live last night. That’s ok, somebody probably recorded it, and he can watch their copy. David missed Joe giving them hell. This might have been Biden’s long-awaited pivot point! It is definitely his Republican talking point’s pivot from “Sleepy!” to “He’s so mean to us!”, which is a good thing. Now the talk can move from vibes, to issues, from rhetoric to solutions, for you know, “kitchen table issues”… Which brings us to the Gop SOTU Rebuttal, which used a “kitchen”, sort of, with a couple of added props, including one that talked and said very kitchen-y things. Of course, their viewership doesn’t usually require that much in production value, as long as they can hear their secret catch-phrases. Like when they heard that a migrant finally killed a pretty white girl, they probably popped champagne over at RNC headquarters. Another pretty white girl, Sydney Sweeney, confused MAGA by being “funny”, and they just don’t get jokes. Sweeney recently appeared on Saturday Night Live, and on that very show they said the word “boobs” at least twice, so all is forgiven. Sydney can keep supporting Hollywood’s vast freelance under caste. Are you better off now than four years ago? Donald Trump definitely was. Trump will finally pay his legal fees and bail bonds, at least once the RNC’s checks clear. Unfortunately for Steve KG Bannon, he’s not on Laura Trump’s gift list. Lastly, let’s look in on the Michigan Republican Party and their evil twin, still locked in a death grip, yet not quite off the edge of the cliff.
Against all odds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYCEkqH0NQQ, DAVID WALDMAN made it to airtime at this morning. We were all rooting for him. No worries, GREG DWORKIN had the opening monologue down and was waiting in the wings. The state of Joe Biden is strong, and making that clear to America is just one of the president’s goals in tonight’s SOTU. The challenge is making those points to 21st century voters from a 19th century venue when his audience has the memory of goldfish. https://twitter.com/metzgov/status/1765726776464974094 Republicans are supplying last-minute material to add to Biden’s script. Mike Johnson is defunding the police. Donald Trump is warmongering in Gaza. Plenty of lines to draw between parties to start off election season. What lines need to be drawn to capture voters from Trump? Nikkki Haley has a few Trump-hesitants she might send Biden’s way. Most won’t, but some may, and at least Joe’s asking them. (You got to hope someone on Dem’s payroll speaks Spanish.) Then there’s Dean Phillips golden touch… Every voter counts, but you can also be certain that the voters you don’t want wouldn’t be coming over anyhow. Those people are making America great again by eliminating Black people, Jewish people, LGBTQ people, and female people and will be voting for people like North Carolina’s Mark Robinson and Michele Morrow. Katie Porter lost her primary because of the rich and their money rigging. Arizona issues subpoenas on their 2020 Trump election probe, and we can thank Covid deniers for that. Meanwhile, Trump’s Supreme Court helps Trump delay as much as they can. Bibi Netanyahu is in trouble for killing more people, again.
It’s… Wednesday. That’s the day DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN usually reserve for discussing Tuesdays, and even “super” ones aren’t able to escape their scrutiny. Donald Trump won again. So did Joe Biden, soundly beating Barack Obama. Joe was no match however for Jason Palmer, who came from behind to… stay behind. Trump no longer has Nikkki Haley to kick around anymore... Who are we kidding? Donald Trump has just begun to kick around Nikkki Haley. Hey, but what about Haley’s supporters? Where will they go? Uhm… To Donald Trump, of course. We aren’t kidding anybody about that either. (Anyone who wants to vote for Joe is welcome just the same.) It’s on! The primaries that never were are finally over, and people might finally act like there’s an election happening and become informed. The paper of record, the New York Times, might not be the place to go, as they have tended to omit some important stuff lately. After thoughtful consultation with his China-loving wife, Coco Chow, Mitch McConnel is giving Trump his full support. Biden, nevertheless has clout, maybe. It’s hard to tell. Trump-allied election groups burned through millions for Donald during the primaries, but there’s plenty of suckers where they came from. Kyrsten Sinema “retires”. Some despised Sinema, and yet others detested her. Most could agree still that as a Democratic Senator, Kyrsten Sinema was worse than nothing. Kyrsten Sinema https://bsky.app/profile/adambonin.bsky.social/post/3kmxwbvh4ul2i thought Kyrsten Sinema was the bee’s knees nonetheless. And, some say that no one could reach across the aisle better than she. Meanwhile, David gets back into the nuts and bolts of the Supreme Court, and unfortunately finds more nuts than bolts.
It’s supposed to be some big important day today, special at least as Tuesdays go, kind of like the “Superbowl of Tuesdays”... It doesn’t feel too special though. It feels like a day to get out of the way so that we can get serious, pay attention, and move forward. So, let’s. For a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court decision on TFFG ballot disqualification sure did not seem so harmonious. Liberal judges’ concurrence now seems more like forced acquiescence. DAVID WALDMAN joins control-F sleuths in spotting the dissent https://twitter.com/mjs_DC/status/1764720374107767190 literally between the lines. It’s Tuesday, so Republicans are shutting down government, or about to, and JOAN MCCARTER is here to tell us how that’s going. If Gops were half as incompetent they’d be twice as dangerous. Republicans would do anything to protect IVF for instance, but haven’t yet figured out how to vote “yes”, as just voting “no” and taking the credit has worked so well for them in the past.
March fourth! David Waldman leads us into a new, hopefully better, month. Yep, the polls aren’t “great”. GREG DWORKIN reminds us that it is still primary season, sort of, and there is good news if you look hard enough, and the felonious dotard still has it worse, and you know more than those people anyhow. You knew that the courts wouldn’t save us https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/02/29/trump-special-treatment-supreme-court-00144138 from Donald Trump https://electionlawblog.org/?p=141757, and the Trump Supreme Court confirmed that, 9-0. Again, if you look at it hard enough, there’s some nuance. Allen Weisselberg pleads guilty to perjury for lying at Trump’s fraud trial, meaning that more people could get in trouble, or maybe fewer will lie for Trump. Not fewer Russians, however. That number will explode this year, even without Mitch McConnell’s help, but there’s millions ready to make America Русский. Vice President Kamala Harris is getting things done in Israel, even if she has to go around Bibi Netanyahu to do it.
DAVID WALDMAN ends the week, begins the month, concludes business and gets this party started. The Senate passed a spending bill, pushing the shutdown down one week. After all, when Joan McCarter comes to each week, it only makes sense. The Boebert crime family is perhaps outscoring the Palin crime family… the math part would be tough on either set... but Tyler Boebert might soon have MVP locked up in felony convictions. Tyler’s stealing from a woman saving up for brain tumor surgery might not go over well with the jury. He might get sympathy still as a new father, but not with his co-defendant who he made the sex tape with. Hunter Biden went into a closed-door résumé-measuring contest yesterday and came out the clear winner, though he’s certainly no Jared Kushner. Donald Trump tried to art-of-the-deal Judge Arthur Engoron from $400 million down to $100 million. Judge Engoron passed on the chance to be the loser-chump punchline for the next several Trump rallies and turned him down. Always a man of subtle nuance, Donald explains that he’s too rich to pay $88 million, yet too poor for anything over a hundred. The founders of Truth Social actually thought they’d be the first ones to enter a relationship with Donald Trump and not be cheated. When Trump isn’t cheating, he is evading or delaying, that’s it. His entire life experience demonstrates that the system was built to accommodate his parasitical nature. TFFG is now appealing/evading/delaying an Illinois judge’s ruling removing him from the primary ballot. Constitutional lawyers are being chilled and having their socks knocked off. Are today’s constitutional scofflaws making it impossible to teach, or should their professors have taught them to better behave back when they were students? Should Joe Biden tell the public what the government knows about Trump's collusion, or should Russian hackers?
Happy Bissextile Day! Wave your Bissextile Day flags! Had DAVID WALDMAN just ran a little overtime for perhaps fewer than only 9 minutes each day we wouldn’t have had to do today’s show, yet here we are. And a good thing, too, we need a whole new show, with GREG DWORKIN and ARMANDO on hand just to describe and dissect the Supreme Court’s worst dick move since... well, it probably is their worst dick move ever. “Hey, what about Donald Trump’s other immunity claim?”, you might ask, and so has the other judge in Trump’s pocket, Aileen Cannon. And, “What about Anwar Nasser Abdulla al-Awlaki?”, David asks, but you know that question will be coming up more often. It appears that broke-ass dotard will remain our problem through the election. In the meantime, MAGA is setting up to make America more Alabaman. Mitch McConnell is leaving now that he’s certain that he couldn’t make anything worse.
DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN’s must have had some kind of boiler explosion. Bits of news are raining down everywhere: A chemistry teacher in New Mexico passed out swords to students (who no doubt still pronounce the “w” in swords) and had them fight. Probably for the first time in her class, lessons were learned. Donald Trump coughed up almost $400 thousand to the New York Times. Donald is too just rich/poor, and that cough isn’t getting better. For most anyone, the choice of trolley track between blastocysts and babies is an easy one. Gops worry about running over their paychecks. Of course, they have other concerns, too. Dollar store Sarah Palin, Lauren Boebert has a son who has rolled up 22 criminal charges between teen knock-ups. Kenneth Chesebro can’t help that people followed the advice https://www.yahoo.com/news/attorney-kenneth-chesebro-posted-jan-192829417.html of BadgerPundit, which he authored, then emailed to them. A Lubbock Texas judge decided that a 2022 federal spending bill was unconstitutional because of its COVID proxy vote. The Federal Supreme Court does not care. The loonies who commandeered the Michigan Ottawa County government won’t be allowed https://www.hollandsentinel.com/story/news/politics/county/2024/02/26/ottawa-county-board-votes-unanimously-to-retain-hambley-as-health-officer/72714417007/ to throw their county health officer overboard after trying for 13 months. Schrödinger's Gop chair Kristina Karamo is no longer chair of the Michigan Republican Party, and yet still is there. The sham around the Fani Willis persecution is fading, and just in time, as Fani's eyes couldn’t have kept rolling for much longer. Another climatic, cliff-hanging, nail-biter of a primary is in the history books, and… Marianne Williamson is back, baby! https://twitter.com/marwilliamson/status/1762825059083645064 Maybe not. Definitely not for Dean Phillips. Donald Trump is where he always is, underperforming. Joe Biden is where he always is, overperforming. “Uncommitted” overperformed as well, make that what you will https://twitter.com/admcrlsn/status/1762673503168246068, and plenty are already making that what they will, which is more than it really is, actually.
It’s Tuesday and DAVID WALDMAN has some stuff to lay on us, . Don Jr. received death threats and a suspicious powder in the mail, but who would guess they’d both be in the same envelope? Elon Musk hasn’t killed many, at least as evil billionaires go, but it’s still pretty early. Hyperloop tunnel chemical sludge, for instance, might take years to make a real impact actuarially. Sure, Clarence Thomas’ shameless avarice and evident corruption is hilarious, but isn’t it also illegal? Of course, the call now goes out for John Oliver’s arrest. Donald Trump owes the court about a half of a billion dollars, but who can put a price on such publicity? And delay? Well… presumably the courts. That is why Trump has hired some to the greatest https://www.rawstory.com/alina-habba-trump-appeal/ legal minds to represent him. Minds like Kenneth Chesebro, who stayed above the legal fray, and out of reach of felony election subversion, by donning a novelty mustache and a fake Twitter account in order to provide his most treasonous counsel. Like the first robin of spring, JOAN MCCARTER’s appearance is a harbinger of an imminent government shutdown, or at least of unremitting Republican dysfunction. Today, Joan heralds both, as Gops threaten each other along with the eponymous and titular State of the Union.
Unfortunately, there is plenty for DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN to talk about today, Fortunately, we get to hear them say it. Today, if you find you’re still having difficulty deciding on whether your trolley would be best routed over 10,000 frozen zygotes or a baby, you just might be a Republican trying to figure out how to hold onto your job, because of course, no actual normal human would have this quandary. No normal people attend CPAC. Nex Benedict’s death following Libs of TikTok rhetoric was just blood in the water for them. Tennessee now senses this is the time to take out Obergefell. Donald Trump won the South Carolina primary, as the polls continue to show he’s big with his base, but not so much otherwise. Even a few Trump supporters might be stripped away if things get worse for him https://twitter.com/ryanstruyk/status/1761562508198867350. Well, that too is how Republicans tend to see Joe Biden, and they have Putin on their side... On the other hand, Dems have Nickki Haley fighting for them… Excitement, thrills, suspense, but most of all chaos comes to primary season for the Republican primary, and convention, in Michigan. The House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party wonders which side Elon Musk might be on. Sure, Don Bolduc lied about voter fraud in 2020, and then lied about that, but isn’t that what he is supposed to do? Don’t confuse the baseless GOP impeachment push with the debunked one, although the authors wouldn’t mind. Bill Barr’s assignment led to a Biden impeachment effort based on a lie.
In a flash, DAVID WALDMAN appears, vanishing again two hours later. Where does David come from? Where does he go? Some say… . Nevertheless, with each visit Mr. Waldman will present to us a mysterious, yet valuable gift… let’s open it, shall we? James Comer and Jim Jordan may seem like idiots now, and they are, but they are smart enough to know that Democrats will let them and Russia Russia Russia get away with it yet again https://talkingpointsmemo.com/morning-memo/russias-staggering-success-in-duping-willing-republicans-and-right-wing-media, because as they and Putin are well aware, most of us are the kind of idiots who will let them get away with it. https://spoutible.com/RosalynMac ROSALYN MACGREGOR reports that there remains at least one too many MIGops as local officials continue their efforts to exile the rogue Kristina Karamo regime. From the “Truth is Stranger than Russian Disinformation” department: Dean Phillips is still running for president. A consultant for Phillip’s campaign hired a New Orleans magician to impersonate President Joe Biden using AI tech. Dean Phillips has now offered to be Nikki Haley’s Vice-Presidential choice...
It’s Thursday and DAVID WALDMAN and GREG DWORKIN are back, with not just one, but two topics for today! James Comer and Jim Jordan are having a tough time impeaching Joe Biden, as the President committed no impeachable offenses, convincing anyone that he did would require someone to lie convincingly, and James and Jim remain quite the dunces. Somehow those two seem positively perspicacious compared to TV’s Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity. Certainly, they are all Putin’s useful idiots, but at what point does stupidity end and sedition begin? Alabama says frozen embryos are people... tenth of a millimeter long people. Why not ban birth control, or recreational sex? No, you will not find a “middle ground”. MAGA wants a Christian Nationalist USA. Gops are legislating a Christian Nationalist USA. And if you don’t think they have a lot of support, then you probably do not attend their church. You can’t expect all of their wives to get abortions before they figure out what matters for others.
Hope you like the nitty-gritty. Today on , DAVID WALDMAN welcomes GREG DWORKIN and ARMANDO to really dig into it: Boom goes Burisma! Joe’s brother James Biden arrived in Washington today to laugh in Gop faces as their most corroborating star witness Alexander Yakov Smirnov was indicted by the DOJ and described by the FBI as a serial liar, and has been revealed to have had extensive contact with Russian, Russian, Russian agents. Republicans assure us that outside of all the evidence that they have no evidence, they have only begun to reveal the vast stores of evidence that they don’t have https://www.emptywheel.net/2024/02/20/smirnov-and-blow/… Hey did you see those foot-long strips of cocaine under that table saw? Hur dur hur… How did Merrick Garland ever mistake a Trump hitman for a career prosecutor? Expert at law, Donald Trump, continues to hone his expertise, and there might be no end to how much he can learn. It’s not just Trump… and Comer, and Jordan colluding with Russia, plans are afoot to transform the United States so that even Tucker Carlson won’t see the difference.
DAVID WALDMAN marks the 20th day since, well, since February started, on today’s special KITM. Here we are, counting down the days until another government shutdown. Would Republicans know one was coming if we didn’t keep track? Would anyone notice if they just shut down the Republican half? The Republican National Committee is following in the clown shoes of the Michigan Republican Party, except even Trumpier. In fact, the goal is to make it 100% Trump. We are all victims of Trump’s fraud. It’s kind of nice to see that finally includes Donald Trump. Trump’s grift, on the other hand opens the door for all sorts of new grift. Elena Cardone has all sorts of privilege, which gives her all sorts of entitlement to MAGA rubes cash. Maybe Ukraine should start a GoFundMe. Of course, there is no bigger victim than Donald Trump. Not Ukraine, not Aleksei Navalny. Maybe Clarence Thomas, but don’t worry about Clarence, his new friend John Oliver has his back. Tennessee Representative Tim Burchett took a break from impeaching Hunter Biden to putting a target on a Kansas City Chiefs fan’s back.
There goes the neighborhood! Explosions get ever closer to yet DAVID WALDMAN is undeterred, debuting Today’s recounts and the latter in wistful homage to Wisconsin Democratic Govenor Tony Evers’ decision to sign new legislative maps, ending years of Gop gerrymandering, assisted by the Gop legislature who wanted to avoid Democratic gerrymandering... which is certainly one way to achieve fair elections. GREG DWORKIN rows his Raft o’ Stories™ ashore, hallelujah, with the serenity to accept the things that cannot change, the courage to change the things that can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Meanwhile, Republicans have ruptured into five factions, which still isn't enough to hold them all. Michigan leads the way in Gop cautionary tales (that they’ll ignore) and Dem success stories (that they’ll ignore). Michigan just became the first state in 6 decades to scrap an infamous anti-union law, while Christian racist rapper Josh Shriver loses a little but not a lot sticking to his “great replacement” stance. TFFG, Worst President in American History, Sneaker Con, and soon to be the World's First Negative Billionaire, Donald Trump may see his reputation eventually deteriorate to the point that he isn’t elected president again. (Don’t count on it.) Oh yes, it’s also Presidents Day, which commemorates George Washington declaring half-off on his truth-telling.
