Loving and Living the Quran
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Let’s remind ourselves of the principles of healthy discussion and debate from the Quran which we have been exploring over the last few days __ __
We have explored this verse from Sura Fussilat from many different aspects. Today’s exploration will be in line with our theme of using verses from the Quran to guide us when we find ourselves in the midst of an argument. Despite our best intentions, things can get heated when we are in the midst of a conflict. It is hard to hear things that go against our belief system. It is so easy to take things personally. Others can say things in a way that triggers us and potentially make us lose our emotional balance. This verse from Sura Fussilat advices us to not react when others fall short of respectful conduct. Repel [evil] with what is best. [If you do so,] behold, he between whom and you was enmity, will be as though he were a sympathetic friend [Quran 41:34]. Scholars explain that the absence of a direct object after repel in the above verse means that the verse is open to many meanings and possibilities: we can repel anger with patience, error with truth, ignorance with clemency, and the commission of evil with pardon. In other words, instead of reacting to people’s behavior out of anger, we can practice responding in a way that is aligned to our own value system. As this verse explains, when we do this, it gives the other person a chance to calm down, it diffuses the tension and the aggression and allows the conversation to get back on track. A practice of repelling evil [or communication triggers and mistakes] with good [responsive and worthy communication] can lead to reconciliation, love, and (re)connection. How? We need to pause enough so that we can remind ourselves of the gifts Allah [swt] has given us in order to repel evil with good. These gifts are the gift of imagination, of self-control, of will power and the gift of conscience. It is only when we use some or all of these gifts that we can respond based on our own values rather than react to poor behaviour on the part of another.
When we are in the midst of a conflict or a dispute, we tend to focus only on our side of the argument, ignoring or rejecting what merit or truth may be found on the other side. And when we do this, the other side gets more focused on proving us wrong and highlighting their arguments. Discussions and arguments like these seldom if ever, result in a deeper understanding. And they almost never result in any one side giving in to the other. The Quran teaches us another way: they ask you about wine and gambling. Say,“There is a great sin in both of them, and some benefits for the people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit” [Quran 2:219]. This is such an interesting verse and one from which we can learn a lot. Although the Quran is unequivocal in its discouragement of using intoxicants and gambling, it acknowledges that there is some merit and attraction in them. To someone who is inclined towards intoxicants and/or gambling, they are engaging in these because they find some attraction or benefit in them. If we are too focused on telling them all the reasons why these are evil and not allowed, their experience is that we do not understand them and why they are so inclined. Once we accept that their inclinations make sense given the attraction, they feel validated and are much more likely to hear opposing arguments out. This is such a beautiful example of how we can acknowledge and validate another point of view while we present our arguments and reasoning. When we are able to acknowledge and validate another’s point of view, we do these four things: 1) Convey that we are balanced and open minded 2) Convey empathy and understanding for their point of view 3) Convey that we are brave and fair enough to look at all sides of an issue, even those that go against our point of view 4) Look for common ground Such a posture when we are in conflict does a lot to dissolve resistance and greatly enhances the other’s ability to listen to our point of view and to consider it. This verse is particularly useful for parents who are attempting to discourage their children from using substances or engaging in risky behaviour. If we acknowledge the positive aspects of substances and convey that we understand the attraction, they are so much more likely to pay attention to what we have to say.
Today we start on a series of verses in the Quran that teach us how to discuss, debate and dispute with others. Today's reflection is from Sura Nahl
Many of us are feeling angry at the injustices, the oppression, the mass murders, the brainwashing, political posturing, refusal of people to stand up and speak the truth, Islamophobia . … .there really is plenty to make and keep us mad. Our anger is pointing to the fact that we find ourselves in a situation which is unacceptable according to any standard of morality or humanity and it is completely justified. The issue is how are we channelling our anger? Are we using it in effective ways and towards the right people and institutions? In part 2 of the series, let’s explore these questions with some guidance and inspiration from the Quran. Please do comment and share if things made sense [or didn’t]. #freepalestine#prayforgaza🇵🇸 #gaza #ceasefire#ceasefirenow🇵🇸 #freepalestine🇵🇸#falasteen #distress#quran https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/quran/ #freegaza#prayforpalestine #palestinian #palestinanlivesmatter #muslimtherapy #muslimtherapist #lovingandlivingthequran
All of us are struggling with collective grief and vicarious trauma during these most distressing of times. While we want to help, we often feel hopeless and helpless. In these episode, we will turn to the Quran for guidance on how to manage ourselves and our strong emotions and take effective action to support our brothers and sisters in Palestine. FREEPALESTINE#PRAYFORGAZA🇵🇸 #GAZA #CEASEFIRE#CEASEFIRENOW🇵🇸 #FREEPALESTINE🇵🇸#FALASTEEN #DISTRESS #QURAN#FREEGAZA#PRAYFORPALESTINE #PALESTINIAN #PALESTINANLIVESMATTER #MUSLIMTHERAPY #MUSLIMTHERAPIST #LIVINGANDLOVINGTHEQURAN
In this episode, we discuss the topic of asking for forgiveness. We start by talking about how to ask forgiveness from God and turn to the topic of apologizing to people and what ineffective and effective apologies look like. Please let me know what helped and was useful and do take a moment to subscribe on itunes and rate and review the show as it helps reaching a wider audience. WWW.LIVINGTHEQURAN.ORG https://www.livingthequran.org
In Sura Nisa, we are given a simple and powerful command: to return another person’s greeting in a better or at least equal way. In this episode, we discuss the role greetings play in our relationships and how we can offer sincere greetings to each other.
This verse from Sura Saff reminds us to practise integrity in our speech and action, that is to say and do the same thing. In this episode we discuss the importance of keeping our word and how this impacts all aspects of our lives.
The verse from Sura Isra speaks about the body language of humility and arrogance. In this episode we discuss the challenges of humility in the modern age and what we can do to keep ourselves grounded.
As we have discussed, the true impact of our actions will only be made apparent to us at the final accounting. We can help ourselves have a good outcome by paying attention to how we are spending our time and what return we will get for the time and energy we are spending in this lifetime.
Verses 7 & 8 of Sura Zilzal remind us to pay attention to our small deeds and how we will encounter the impact of these actions on the Day of Judgement. In this episode we explore the idea that we may be able to see the impact of our actions even in this world and we discuss how we can benefit ourselves by consistently doing small acts of goodness and kindness.
Sura Ankabut, which we have been reflecting on ends with a promise from God: that He will guide us to Him if we strive. In this episode we talk about what that means and what we need to do in order to access this guidance. More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: HTTPS://WWW.LIVINGTHEQURAN.ORG/BLOG/RESOURCES%20FOR%20LAYLATUL%20QADR
Verse 65 of Sura Ankabut reminds us that under very difficult situations, human beings tend to turn to God and vow to change their lives if they get through this challenging time. But human beings are forgetful creatures and we often go back to our habitual ways once crises have passed. In this verse, we explore and try to understand this human tendency. More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr
Verses 2&3 of Sura Ankabut declare a fact of life: that we will be tried. In this episode, we reflect on the role of trials and hardships in our lives and discuss how we can best prepare and go through them in an effective way More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr
Sura Ankabut [The Spider] gets its name from verse 41 which talks about the frailty of the spider’s web. In this episode we reflect on what makes the house of the spider so different and what lessons we may derive from this example More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr
In preparation for the upcoming nights of Qadr, let us reflect on the verse from Sura Qadr and discuss some ways we can expand our consciousness on this blessed night. More resources for Laylatul Qadr can be found on this link: https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr
The verse from Sura Maida encapsulates the philosophy of Islam, which is to worship Him and to serve His creation. We go into a bit of background on this verse and narrate the story behind its revelation while reminding ourselves how we cannot separate worship to Him and meeting the needs of His creation.
Verses from Sura Nur were revealed when a person was accused of unchaste behaviour by a group of gossip mongers. The community believed the rumours and the gossip spread. The verse deals very strongly with both the spreaders and believers of the rumours. In this episode we discuss how we can practise adopting kinder and more helpful assumptions about people.
Verse 12 from Sura Hujarat cautions believers from falling prey to negative assumptions and suspicions about each other. In this episode, we try and understand the brain’s tendency to do this and discuss first steps in counteracting this very human tendency.
Verse 5 which is repeated in verse 6 of Sura Inshirah is familiar to many of us. We discuss what does it mean to have ease along with difficulty and how can we become more intentional in beginning to notice the ease while we are going through a challenging period in life.
The command in verse 11 of Sura Mujadilah is so simple and practical and it has a profound impact on community relationships. We discuss what stops us from following this command and what we get in exchange for following it.
In this episode we reflect on the famous verse from Sura Ale Imran where Allah swt asks us to give from that which we love. We discuss what that means, what stops us and how we can inculcate this habit of generosity within ourselves by learning from the Beloveds of Allah swt.
In this episode, we explore the conversation from Sura Ibrahim when Shaytan tells mankind that they need to stop excusing their behaviour by blaming him and that he did not have the power to compel them to take actions.
In this episode we discuss the benefits and barriers to seeking guidance and advice from others and why we need to get into the habit of consultation which is amongst the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (saw).
When we encounter negativity or aggression towards us, it is easy to lose our emotional balance. We use verse 65 of Sura Yunus to inspire us towards dealing with aggression and negativity.
Amongst the most challenging people that the Holy Prophet (saw) dealt with were those who professed belief with their tongue but harboured ill will towards the Prophet (saw) and his mission in their hearts. In this verse Allah swt tells the Prophet (saw) how to deal with this situation. In this episode we explore how this verse can guide us in dealing with situations of aggression and hate towards us.
