In honor of Mother’s Day this week, we revisit the story of one mom who went to extraordinary lengths to make sure her daughter always felt her love, even after she was gone.  Each time Genevieve Kingston reached a milestone — a birthday, her first period, high school graduation, she’d reach into the box her mom had packed for her and pull out the note and gift that went with that occasion. Her mom had known she was dying of cancer, so during Kingston’s childhood, she’d poured an incredible amount of care and creativity into the project. Today we hear Kingston’s essay https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/28/style/modern-love-she-put-her-unspent-love-in-a-cardboard-box.html about the discoveries the box held for her, from her first birthday without her mom at age 12, into her 30s.   We also hear a mother’s "Tiny Love Story" (a Modern Love essay in miniature) about trying to connect with her teenage son, and get his surprisingly thoughtful reaction. Listener Callout: How did your dad express his feelings? Tell us your story in a voice memo, and you might hear yourself in a future episode. For Father’s Day, the Modern Love team is looking at different ways dads show their feelings, and we want to know about a moment when your dad opened up to you. Where were you? What did he do or say? How did you react? Did it have a lasting impact on you? And if you’re a dad, how do you think about showing emotion or vulnerability when you’re with your kids? Is it something you do intentionally? Does it feel easy? Hard? The deadline is May 15. Submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/30/podcasts/dad-father-feelings-callout.html How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

22m

May 07

It’s been almost a year since Miranda July released her hit novel, “All Fours.” The novel features a woman in her mid-40s who heads out on a solo road trip across the country, only to stop at a roadside motel 30 minutes from her home. She winds up staying there for three weeks, exploring and questioning what she actually wants and needs out of midlife, things she can’t really focus on when she’s busy being a wife, a mom and a working artist. In the motel, she redecorates the room, designs her days the way she wants to and gets in touch with her changing desires. In the past year, this book has become a touchstone for how our culture addresses women in perimenopause. It’s expanded beyond the page to a kind of movement. Soon after the book’s release, women started writing to July with their own stories. She started a Substack https://mirandajuly.substack.com/ to keep those conversations going. People organized discussion groups all over the world called All Fours Group Chats. Hats were made. “All Fours” was shortlisted for the National Book Award, and it’s currently being adapted into a limited TV series. The paperback version of the novel will be released May 13. In this week’s episode of Modern Love, July talks about the anger and desire that shaped the writing of “All Fours.” And she reflects on why this novel is inspiring to some, and threatening to others, in this cultural moment.   How did your dad express his feelings? Tell us your story in a voice memo, and you might hear yourself in a future episode. For Father’s Day, the Modern Love team is looking at different ways dads show their feelings, and we want to know about a moment when your dad opened up to you. Where were you? What did he do or say? How did you react? Did it have a lasting impact on you? And if you’re a dad, how do you think about showing emotion or vulnerability when you’re with your kids? Is it something you do intentionally? Does it feel easy? Hard? The deadline is May 15. Submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/30/podcasts/dad-father-feelings-callout.html. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

36m

Apr 30

KC Davis is a therapist and author known for her practical, empathetic advice on dealing with clutter, even when you are feeling like too much of a mess yourself to take care of the mess in your home. Her TikTok videos on the subject have been viewed millions of times. But lately, Davis has been talking and writing about our relationships not just to the objects in our lives, but to the people, too. In her new book, “Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any RelationshipDavis tries to disentangle the popular understanding of boundaries, saying the concept is widely misunderstood. She offers a guide to forming and keeping boundaries that help readers better navigate their conflicts with other people. On this episode of “Modern Love," Davis tells us what she thinks we get wrong about boundaries and how we should be thinking about them instead. She reads the Modern Love essay “Is My Husband a Doormat? https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/14/style/modern-love-my-husband-was-appalled-to-learn-that-he-was-a-doormat.html” about a sudden argument between a couple 20 years into their relationship and talks about how boundaries can help defuse such situations. Davis also tells us how boundaries helped heal her own relationship with her father. The author of today’s featured essay, Lidija Hilje, has a new novel coming out in July called “Slanting Towards the Sea. https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Slanting-Towards-the-Sea/Lidija-Hilje/9781668078679“ For an upcoming episode about location sharing, the Modern Love team wants to hear your location-sharing story. Did something happen that made you regret sharing your location with someone? Was there a moment when you were thankful that you had? Where were you? What happened? How did your relationship change as a result? The deadline is May 1. Submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/14/podcasts/location-sharing-relationships-modern-love.html. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

39m

Apr 23

Mireille Silcoff recently wrote an article for The New York Times Magazine titled “Why Gen X Women Are Having the Best Sex https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/05/magazine/sex-gen-x-women.html.” At a time of life when many women describe feeling less visible and less desirable, Silcoff said, her life instead “exploded in a detonation of sex confetti.” On today’s episode, Silcoff shares the juicy back story to her popular article, from her coming of age in Montreal to the surprising sexual resurgence she experienced after her divorce. Silcoff reflects on what it feels like to be a highly sexual person in her early 50s and tells us how being part of Gen X is central to her newfound freedom. For an upcoming episode about location sharing, the Modern Love team wants to hear location-sharing story. Did something happen that made you regret sharing your location with someone? Was there a moment when you were thankful that you had? Where were you? What happened? How did your relationship change as a result? The deadline is May 1. Submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/14/podcasts/location-sharing-relationships-modern-love.html. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

37m

Apr 16

As U.S. poet laureate, Ada Limón has had a far-reaching impact. She has visited readers and writers across the country, installed poems at majestic sites in national parks, and she even wrote a poem that’s engraved inside a NASA spacecraft on its way to Jupiter. Today on the show, though, our host Anna Martin talks with Limón about something more personal and intimate: What happens when writers fall hopelessly in love. She reads a Modern Love essay about a novelist whose debilitating crush on a poet gives her a bad case of writer’s block (before leaving her with a badly broken heart). Limón also tells Anna why feeling anger and grief when we’re despairing can be the path to feeling more alive, and she explains why a pair of old sweatpants belong in a love poem as much as bees and flowers do. Ada Limón’s recent book, “You Are Here: Poetry in the Natural World” can be found here https://www.adalimon.net/you-are-here. Lily King’s Modern Love essay, “An Empty Heart Is One That Can Be Filled” can be found here https://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/22/fashion/an-empty-heart-is-one-that-can-be-filled.html. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

34m

Apr 09

Growing up, Jamie Shandro was interested in science, while her younger brother, Tim, liked art. When they were in their twenties, they both landed in Seattle: Jamie for medical school and Tim for art school. They were closer than ever. But as Jamie was finishing up a rotation in psychiatry, Tim started behaving strangely. In this episode of Modern Love, Jamie tells the story of the frightening onset of her little brother’s mental illness and the parts of his personality and creativity that remain. Plus, she talks about how helping Tim has shaped her, as a person, and a doctor. This episode is adapted from Jamie Shandro’s 2025 essay My Brother Has Schizophrenia. This Is How I Love Him. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/10/style/modern-love-brother-schizophrenia-how-i-love-him.html Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

35m

Apr 02

If you know one thing about the country musician Orville Peck, it’s probably that he wears a mask. Peck has long kept himself shrouded in mystery, shielding his face from the public and revealing few details about his past. His music, however, is full of emotional honesty and vulnerability — he told the Modern Love podcast that most of his lyrics are about his life — and his songs are imbued with a deep sense of longing. In this episode, Peck talks about why country music uniquely captures our complicated feelings about love, and why love and pain are so often intertwined. He reads a Modern Love essay, “Strung Out on Love and Checked In for Treatment https://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/11/fashion/sundaystyles/11love.html” by Rachel Yoder, about love addiction, and discusses what it takes to pull yourself from its distressing grip. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

34m

Mar 26

Natasha Rothwell plays characters who are constantly trying to improve and to better understand their desires. This season on “The White Lotus,” Rothwell, an Emmy-nominated actress, is back playing Belinda, a striving spa manager with dreams of becoming her own boss. Ambitions like these are relatable to Rothwell, who created and starred in her own show, “How to Die Alone.” But as she and her characters have learned, going after what you want often means changing your priorities and steering away from certain types of people. Today on the show, Rothwell reads Jasmine Browley’s Modern Love essay, “I Decentered Men. Decentering Desire for Men Is Harder, https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/27/style/modern-love-decentering-men.html” about the challenges and joys of putting your own needs first. And Rothwell tells Anna Martin how vision boarding has helped her center herself. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

32m

Mar 19

On her fourth solo album, “Forever Is a Feeling” (out March 28), Lucy Dacus contemplates the fears and delights that go along with falling hard for someone. The song “Best Guess” celebrates the leap of faith involved in committing to a partner with the knowledge that both of you will change over time. And in another track called “Talk,” a couple realizes they’ve grown apart because they have nothing more to say to each other. In this episode, Dacus reads Molly Pascal’s Modern Love essay “How the ‘Dining Dead’ Got Talking Again https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/26/fashion/modern-love-marriage-talk.html,” about a couple who sets out to bring conversation back into their marriage. And Dacus tells Anna Martin why she’s not afraid to put in the work for long-term love. Lucy Dacus’ fourth solo album, “Forever Is a Feeling,” is out March 28. Molly Pascal’s essay can be found here https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/26/fashion/modern-love-marriage-talk.html. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

35m

Mar 12

When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite the shame she felt, she got a divorce. In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center. From working in health care during the pandemic to building a family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of what she thought she wanted. Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next winter. This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame Over Divorce? https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/17/style/modern-love-must-we-feel-shame-over-divorce.html” Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

40m

Mar 05

In the movie “His Three Daughters,” Carrie Coon’s character, Katie, has rigid ideas about who her sisters are and what they’re capable of. When the women reunite to care for their dying father, those ideas become a barrier to true connection and care for each other. In this episode, Coon reads the Modern Love essay “A Family Label, Ungarbled https://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/fashion/28love.html” by Harriet Brown. Growing up, the author was never sure she could feel real love. It took breaking out of her mother’s ideas of her, and the birth of her daughter, to learn what love meant. Coon relates the essay to her own experience, describing her early dating life as tumultuous and recalling relationships she continued out of pity rather than love. Until one day, Coon got a letter from her grandmother that changed everything. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

35m

Feb 26

For Kelsey McKinney, the author of the new book https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/11/style/kelsey-mckinney-normal-gossip-book.html, “You Didn’t Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip,” spreading a good story occupied a morally gray zone throughout her childhood. McKinney, who is also the former host of the podcast, “Normal Gossip https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/normal-gossip/id1597761181,” talks with Modern Love’s Anna Martin about navigating the ups and downs of gossiping in her own life. McKinney also reads the Modern Love essay “We Were a Party of Two, but Never Quite Alone https://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/17/fashion/we-were-a-party-of-two-but-never-quite-alone.html” by Linda Button, who tells the story of how gossiping with her rich suitor’s exes brought the euphoria of her relationship back down to earth. While reading Button’s essay, McKinney fields questions from Martin so they can do some gossiping of their own. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

30m

Feb 19

The Modern Love team asked you to share with us the moment you knew you were falling in love, and you delivered. Your stories took us to so many places — dinner dates, subway rides, sunsets, concerts — and showed us the many shapes of love. There were so many that we could not list them all. In this episode, we listen back to your voice messages. Then, Daniel Jones, the editor of Modern Love, joins us to discuss the “36 Questions That Lead to Love https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html” and what they reveal about how we fall in love. And Mandy Len Catron, the writer who popularized the 36 questions in her Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html,” reads her essay and tells us whether she’s still in love with the same man 10 years later. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

51m

Feb 12

When Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone met, they became instant best friends. Then, even though Jacob was gay, they realized that their feelings for each other were evolving beyond the platonic, and they decided to give romance a try. On this episode, Hoff and Greenstone tell Anna Martin, host of “Modern Love,” how their love gave him the courage to come out to his conservative family. They also explain that when they decided to get married, they realized they’d have to get used to clarifying their commitment again and again. You can read Jacob and Samantha’s Mini-Vows profile https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/06/style/samantha-greenstone-jacob-hoff-wedding.html in the Styles section. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

38m

Feb 05

When Robin Aileen Bernstein’s almost-ex-husband, Mark, died of a heart attack, she suddenly found herself comforting her husband’s grieving girlfriend. Robin and Mark had been living apart for two years, but legally she was still the wife, so it was up to her to make the burial arrangements. Would offering to buy the girlfriend an adjoining plot make her feel less alone? On this episode of “Modern Love,” Robin explains how she ended up buying her soon-to-be-ex’s girlfriend a burial plot — and who might actually end up being buried there. Robin Eileen Bernstein’s Modern Love essay, “Here Lie the Bickersons, Side-by-Side for All Eternity,” can be found here https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/17/style/modern-love-here-lie-the-bickersons-side-by-side-for-all-eternity.html. Listener alert: For our upcoming Valentine’s Day episode, the “Modern Love” team wants to know about a moment when you knew you were falling for someone. Whether it happened all at once or it was a gradual process, we want to know how it happened for you. Where were you? What did it feel like? What did you do next? (You can tell us about a relationship you’re currently in, a past love or something happening to you right now.) The deadline is Feb. 5. Submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/15/podcasts/falling-in-love-stories-modern-love.html. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

33m

Jan 29

In a new memoir out next week, the singer-songwriter Neko Case shares some painful childhood memories. In the studio with Anna Martin, Case is open and unapologetically angry as she describes being treated like “an unwanted child.” Both parents, she says, struggled with trauma and addiction. They often left her with no food and only her pets for company. Case also reads a Modern Love essay about the complex heartbreak that comes with being estranged from a parent with an addiction, and the joys of finding love and acceptance in the wake of that pain. Neko Case’s memoir, “The Harder I Fight the More I Love You https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/neko-case/the-harder-i-fight-the-more-i-love-you/9781538710500/,” comes out Jan. 28. Caitlin McCormick’s Modern Love essay, “My Mother, the Stranger,” can be found here https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/12/style/modern-love-mothers-day-alcoholism-estrangement.html. McCormick, who recently published a short fiction piece in The Sewanee Review https://thesewaneereview.com/articles/eleanor, is working on a novel. Listener callout alert: For our upcoming Valentine’s Day episode, the Modern Love team wants to hear about a moment when you knew you were falling for someone. Whether it happened all at once or as a gradual process, we want to learn about how it happened. Where were you? What did it feel like? What did you do next? (You can tell us about a current relationship, a past love or something happening to you right now.) The deadline is Feb. 5, 2025. The submission instructions are here https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/15/podcasts/falling-in-love-stories-modern-love.html. How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

40m

Jan 22

Hank Azaria is used to putting on other personalities. You probably know him best from his work as a voice actor on “The Simpsons,” where he plays Moe the bartender, Professor Frink, Chief Wiggum and Snake Jailbird, among many others. His list of credits in stage plays, movies and TV shows is prolific, including roles like his Tony-nominated performance in “Spamalot,” Phoebe’s boyfriend on “Friends” and the dog walker on “Mad About You.” But at a certain point in his life, Azaria realized that he was using humor and acting to be anyone but himself, and that it was affecting his real-life relationships. After five devastating heartbreaks, he resolved to look inward, address his codependency issues and become his most authentic self. In this episode, Azaria tells us how he found authenticity and reads the Modern Love essay “In Defense of My Emu Tattoo https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/03/style/modern-love-in-defense-of-my-emu-tattoo.html,” about an author who masks his true self by using humor but eventually finds love by learning to be himself. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

39m

Jan 15

When Clare Cory was a young girl, she dreamed of love. But by the time she turned 50, Clare hadn’t found it. Still, she took a look around and found she was happy and was looking forward to the future. Clare fell in love with life. She saw a flower bloom, watched sunlight sparkle on the water and held her cat on her lap. Her heart was full.  Then, to her surprise, as Clare faced cancer and was about to turn 60, romance arrived.  On today’s episode, Clare explains how she fell in love and began sharing her life at a time when she least expected. This episode is adapted from Clare’s Tiny Love Story from 2024, "Finally Finding ‘The Magic.'" https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/21/style/tiny-modern-love-stories-he-said-we-were-missing-the-magic.html __ __ Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

40m

Jan 08

This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, we’re sharing an episode https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/20/well/breast-reduction-trend.html from another New York Times podcast: “The Daily.” For decades, breast augmentations have been one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries in the United States. But in recent years, a new trend has emerged: the breast reduction. Lisa Miller, who reported the story for The Times, explores why this procedure has become so common with Rachel Abrams, the episode’s host. This episode originally aired Nov. 20, 2024. You can find “The Daily https://www.nytimes.com/column/the-daily” wherever you listen to “Modern Love.” How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

29m

Dec 25, 2024

It felt as if the dating world hit a breaking point this year. With news headlines like “Is Dating a Total Nightmare for You Right Now? https://www.thecut.com/article/tiktok-videos-single-women-crying.html” and “Why the Young and the Single Can’t Commit to Dating Apps https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/14/style/gen-z-dating-apps.html” appearing frequently, it became clear that there was a lot of pent up frustration. We gave you all the opportunity to let it out, and asked you to send in voice memos about your worst dates. We enlisted the help of the actor Joel Kim Booster, who hosts the podcast Bad Dates https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-dates/id1671873182, to turn your worst dates into tidbits of wisdom for a brand-new year of dating in 2025. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

32m

Dec 18, 2024

Fake profiles. Unresponsive texters. Boring conversations. An endless stream of dudes on boats holding the fish they’ve caught. Talk to single people using dating apps, and they are likely to tell you that the experience is awful, but that they have to be there. Dating apps are just how singles meet one another these days. But what if artificial intelligence could fix modern dating? The Times reporter Eli Tan explored that hypothesis https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/14/technology/ai-dating-apps.html. Eli joined several new dating apps that seek to duplicate a user’s personality via chatbot and let the A.I. clone do the dating. He also received flirting advice from a squadron of A.I. dating coaches. He used that advice on real dates, actually trying to find a connection, to see how the A.I.’s guidance held up. On this episode of Modern Love, Eli tells us what happened when he revealed his use of A.I. to his dates, and whether the technology may actually push us toward more authentic interactions on the apps. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

33m

Dec 11, 2024

When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he called for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years and over a thousand published essays later, Modern Love is a trove of real-life love stories. Jones has put so much of himself into editing the column over the years, but as he tells Anna Martin, the host of the “Modern Love” podcast, the stories shared in the columns have influenced him, too. Today, he talks about three Modern Love essays that have changed the way he thinks about love and relationships. Read the essays below: One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/fashion/one-bouquet-of-fleeting-beauty-please.html Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/17/fashion/Modern-Love-Nursing-a-Wound-in-an-Appropriate-Place-.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article My First Lesson in Motherhood https://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/fashion/13love.html MODERN LOVE IS LOOKING FOR YOUR STORIES! We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you ever went on? What happened? And what are you trying to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? Whether you’re single or partnered, tell us about your bad dates. Send us your story by recording a voice memo and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re based. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

35m

Dec 04, 2024

Townsend Davis had been married for more than a decade when his wife, Brigid, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Their lives changed immediately. Townsend became Brigid’s caregiver, sorting her medication day after day, making their home accessible, and finding someone to look after her while he worked and raised their sons. He was committed to Brigid, and wanted to be there for her as her condition progressed. One day, not long after her diagnosis, Brigid told Townsend she wanted him eventually to find a new partner. But Townsend couldn’t imagine it. Searching for another love seemed too complicated, and he was focused on caring for Brigid and raising their family. Then, years later, Townsend met Deb. On this episode of Modern Love, Townsend explains what it was like to forge a new partnership as he remained married to Brigid, and what happened when he brought his wife and his girlfriend together for a Thanksgiving dinner. This episode is adapted from Townsend’s Modern Love essay from 2024, "A Family Dinner With My Wife and Girlfriend https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/23/style/modern-love-alzheimers-family-dinner-with-my-wife-and-girlfriend.html." Modern Love is looking for your stories! We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what are you trying to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? Whether you’re singled or partnered, tell us about your bad dates. Send us your story by recording a voice memo and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re based. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

52m

Nov 20, 2024

When Laura Cathcart Robbins checked into rehab for a severe Ambien addiction, all she could think about was getting out and going home to her two young sons. Laura was also in the middle of a divorce and facing a possible custody battle so she wasn’t looking to make her life more complicated. Laura tells the host Anna Martin about the unexpected bond she formed during the worst 30 days of her life and what happened when she came out the other side. This episode is adapted from Laura’s 2024 essay, “Marriage Made an Actor Out of Me https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/24/style/modern-love-marriage-made-an-actor-out-of-me.html.” Her memoir, “Stash: My Life in Hiding https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Stash/Laura-Cathcart-Robbins/9781668005347” is available now, and she hosts a podcast called “The Only One in the Room https://theonlyonepod.com/.” What were your worst dates of 2024? We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what do you want to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? You don’t have to be single to share your story. If you’re partnered and went on an awful date, we want to hear from you, too. Send us your story by recording a voice memo (just a few minutes long) and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re from. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

38m

Nov 13, 2024

Stories of romantic love are everywhere, but the actor, singer and comedian Bridget Everett says great friendships deserve our time and attention, too. Not just onscreen, but in reality. On the HBO Original series “Somebody Somewhere” (now in its third and final season), Everett stars as Sam, a character inspired by the actor’s own life. She tells Anna about how heartbreaking, hilarious and central platonic friendship is in the fictional world of the show, and in Everett’s own relationships. Everett also reads a Modern Love essay called “When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/24/style/modern-love-when-your-greatest-romance-is-friendship.html,” by the novelist Victor Lodato. Lodato was in his 40s when he accidentally found his “person,” and became the platonic life partner of an artist in her 80s who lived across the street. “Somebody Somewhere” is now streaming on Max. In April 2024, Lodato published “Honey https://www.harpercollins.com/products/honey-victor-lodato?variant=41083831746594,” a novel inspired by Austin Brayfield, the friend he wrote about in his essay. Want to leave us a voice mail message on the Modern Love hotline? Call (212) 589-8962‬, and please include your name, hometown and a callback number. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

37m

Nov 06, 2024

The actress and producer Mayan Lopez has seen a majority of her life play out on television. Her father, the comedian George Lopez, produced and starred in a hit ’90s sitcom based on his real-life relationship with Ann Serrano, Mayan’s mother. But their fictionalized story became a reality when she watched her parents go through a very messy, public divorce. The experience could have shattered the family beyond repair. But more than a decade later, Mayan and her father have turned their painful experience into another sitcom on NBC, based on relationship. It’s all very meta. The show is called “Lopez vs. Lopez.” Mayan reads a Modern Love essay about a daughter who also watched her parents’ marriage fall apart, but then as an adult sees them repair their relationship. The essay, “The Original Conscious Uncouplers https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/11/fashion/the-original-conscious-uncouplers.html,” by Cole Kazdin, explores what it means to redefine what a family means after divorce. Want to leave us a voice mail message on the Modern Love hotline? Call (212) 589-8962‬, and please include your name, hometown and a callback number. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

27m

Oct 30, 2024

Madeline de Figueiredo lost her husband, Eli, just a year after they married. After his death, she tried everything she could to reconnect with him: cooking from his recipe book, dancing to playlists he made, watching videos of him and listening to voice mail messages he left her. But her grief persisted. Then, on what was supposed to be Eli’s 27th birthday, Madeline realized she could use A.I. to recreate his voice and try to talk to him again. On this episode of the “Modern Love” podcast, Madeline tells us what it felt like to hear that recreation of Eli’s voice, and how it changed the way she reconnects with him. This episode is adapted from Madeline’s Modern Love essay from 2024, “Our Last, Impossible Conversation https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/22/style/modern-love-ai-our-last-impossible-conversation.html.” We want to hear from you! We’re looking for stories, thoughts and feelings about egg freezing. Are you planning to freeze your eggs? What are you considering? Have you frozen your eggs? What happened, and how do you feel about it now? Leave us a voice mail message on the Modern Love hotline at (212) 589-8962‬. Please include your name, hometown and a callback number. Want to submit your own Modern Love essay to The New York Times? Read how https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html, or consider submitting a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

33m

Oct 23, 2024

Whether it’s Cher or Paul Mescal, Amelia Dimoldenberg can turn her “dates” at a fast-food restaurant into chemistry-fueled, revealing interviews. The dates may be fake, but viewers are always left with the impression that the celebrity guest would probably be game for a second one. Amelia reads a Modern Love essay https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/fashion/the-five-stages-of-ghosting-grief.html from Rachel Fields, who is not sure how her last date has gone. After sending a risky text message, Rachel’s insecurities cloud her morning routine as she waits for a response. Amelia offers tips on how to soothe the anxieties that creep up in the early phases of dating, and how to feel confident throughout the process. Her show, “Chicken Shop Date” is celebrating its 10th anniversary this month. Want to leave us a voice mail message on the Modern Love hotline? Call (212) 589-8962‬ and please include your name, hometown, and a callback number in your message. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

1h 46m

Oct 16, 2024

In the new movie “We Live in Time,” the actor Andrew Garfield plays a newly divorced man named Tobias who falls in love with a chef named Almut, played by Florence Pugh. Their story feels epic and expansive, but still intimate. It focuses on the small, everyday moments that make up a love story: washing dishes together after a dinner party, sharing biscuits, smelling fruit at a farmers’ market. These are the moments that sustain them through Almut’s excruciatingly difficult medical crisis. In this episode, Garfield reads the Modern Love essay “Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss,” by Chris Huntington. https://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/29/fashion/learning-to-measure-time-in-love-and-loss.html His reading was unlike any other in the history of this show. Mr. Garfield was so moved by Mr. Huntington’s essay that he spoke in a surprisingly raw way with the host Anna Martin about the need for art to crack us all open, including himself. We want to hear from you! This year is the 20th anniversary of the Modern Love column, and we want to know what impact reading the column has had on you. Has reading Modern Love made a difference in how you think about your own relationships? How? Tell us by leaving a voice mail message at (212) 589-8962‬. Please include your name, hometown and a callback number, and you might hear yourself on a future episode. Soon, you’ll need a subscription to keep full access to this show, and to other New York Times podcasts, on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don’t miss out on exploring all of our shows, featuring everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts.

49m

Oct 09, 2024

Courtenay Hameister worked hard to stop feeling shame about her body size, but she also had a cruel inner monologue that just wouldn’t leave her alone. At times, her internalized fatphobia was so powerful, she couldn’t think about romance at all. But when Courtenay started dating Jason, everything felt different. He was fat, too, as well as smart, funny, and handsome. When Courtenay realized she was starting to gain weight again, though, she became obsessed with the idea that other people were judging her and Jason, and she made a decision she would immediately regret. This episode is adapted from her 2023 essay “Were We the ‘Fat Couple’? https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/01/style/modern-love-obesity-fat-couple.html” Leave a message on the Modern Love hotline! This year (2024) is the 20th anniversary of the Modern Love column, and we want to know what impact it has had on you. Has reading Modern Love made a difference in how you think about your own relationships? How? Tell us in a voice mail message at (212) 589-8962‬. Please include your name, location and callback number, and you might hear yourself on a future episode. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html How to submit a Tiny Love Story https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks Soon, you’ll need a subscription to keep full access to this show, and to other New York Times podcasts, on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don’t miss out on exploring all of our shows, featuring everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts http://nytimes.com/podcasts.

34m

Oct 02, 2024