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SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET MOVIE REVIEW There’s nothing worse than wasted talent on a dumb movie. Case and point; the movie Skeletons in the Closet, now streaming on Shudder… It’s just bad. Not “good/bad” or “haha funny bad.” It’s just bad. Mark (Terrence Howard) and his wife Valentina (Valery M. Ortiz) are in trouble. They… Read More »Screener Squad: Skeletons in the Closet https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-skeletons-in-the-closet/
TRASH IN THE CAN: DEATH RIDER IN THE HOUSE OF VAMPIRES Rocker Glenn Danzig returns to the director’s chair and brings us a vampire bordello movie so slow it can only be described as From Dusk Till Yawn. Guest Rhett O’Hara joins the boys for the world’s most boring shootout, roving accents, and not nearly… Read More »Trash in the Can: Death Rider in the House of Vampires https://oneofus.net/2024/02/trash-in-the-can-death-rider-in-the-house-of-vampires/
DRIVE-AWAY DOLLS MOVIE REVIEW What do you do if you’re in the middle of a road trip in a rental (or a ‘drive-away’ in this case) and discover that hidden in your car is some bizarre contraband and some real bad dudes are after you to get it? If you’re Jamie and Marian, apparently you… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: Drive-Away Dolls https://oneofus.net/2024/02/highly-suspect-reviews-drive-away-dolls/
MR. AND MRS. SMITH SERIES REVIEW Where does an early 2000’s successful rom com action blockbuster IP go after the credits roll and the hot leads would rather die than work together ever again? Why, to a streaming 8 episode series of course! Creators Donald Glover and Francesca Sloane bring you a very new take… Read More »Screener Squad: Mr. and Mrs. Smith https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-mr-and-mrs-smith/
TRUE DETECTIVE – NIGHT COUNTRY REVIEW Time is a flat circle…again. True Detective is back with its 4th season now with showrunner and director Issa López. This season, aptly named Night Country, takes us to Ennis, Alaska where the town is preparing for the grueling six month period of darkness. On the eve of the… Read More »Screener Squad: True Detective – Night Country https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-true-detective-night-country/
DIGITAL NOISE EPISODE 335: IT’S ALL GOOD Wright and Chris get that February miracle: a whole stack of movies (and a show) for Digital Noise where they actually liked everything. From a mythology for the modern age adapted to tv, to a early history of one of the world’s greatest physical actors. From an anything… Read More »Digital Noise Episode 335: It’s All Good https://oneofus.net/2024/02/digital-noise-episode-335-its-all-good/
MADAME WEB MOVIE REVIEW Sony Pictures’ spin-off Spider-verse keeps getting more bizarre in the way it plucks side characters from Spider-Man’s story and reinvents them for its own purposes. None more so than Madame Web, which takes the 90-something year old clairvoyant and makes her Dakota Johnson. In this world, Spider-Man doesn’t exist yet (it’s… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: Madame Web https://oneofus.net/2024/02/highly-suspect-reviews-madame-web/
DIGITAL NOISE EPISODE 334: DISNEY AND THEN I GUESS MOVIES On this very special episode of Digital Noise, John reviews his first trip ever to Disney (spoiler: he dug it). He and Chris go on for quite a while reviewing the rides and experience. Oh, wait, we’re supposed to be reviewing home releases on this… Read More »Digital Noise Episode 334: Disney And Then I Guess Movies https://oneofus.net/2024/02/digital-noise-episode-334-disney-and-then-i-guess-movies/
TRUNK – LOCKED IN MOVIE REVIEW Trunk – Locked In is a new thriller streaming on Amazon Prime Video. A German film, this movie is relentless in its pacing. Right out of the gate we meet Malina, in a trunk, dazed and confused. Someone has abducted her for reasons that are unclear but through a… Read More »Screener Squad: Trunk – Locked In https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-trunk-locked-in/
HAZBIN HOTEL SERIES REVIEW We’re all sinners, there is no denying that. Some of us commit little sins, like rooting for the Dallas Cowboys or lying to our spouses about diet and exercise. Others commit inhuman atrocities like murder and hosting a podcast. Sure, there’s always deathbed repentance to get away in the nick of… Read More »Screener Squad: Hazbin Hotel https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-hazbin-hotel/
LISA FRANKENSTEIN MOVIE REVIEW Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton) has a problem. It’s not that she’s had trouble fitting in with others at school. She prefers the company of the dead, at least as far as hanging out in an old abandoned cemetery in the woods and talking to one grave in particular as her confidant.… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: Lisa Frankenstein https://oneofus.net/2024/02/highly-suspect-reviews-lisa-frankenstein/
THE UNDERDOGGS MOVIE REVIEW If you are of a certain generation, there’s a good chance that not only have you seen The Mighty Ducks, but you could probably quote it while explaining the plot in great detail. It was certainly a pivotal film of the early 90s. It spawned several sequels and more than a… Read More »Screener Squad: The Underdoggs https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-the-underdoggs/
SUITABLE FLESH MOVIE REVIEW Who among us hasn’t had the dream of swapping bodies with someone? In fact, we’re all friends here. Let’s be honest with each other. Who among us hasn’t had at least one dream where we specifically swap bodies with Heather Graham? No? Only Jordan, Lewayne, and T.C. are willing to admit… Read More »Screener Squad: Suitable Flesh https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-suitable-flesh/
ROLE PLAY MOVIE REVIEW Role Play starring Kaley Cuoco and David Oyelowo is a wholehearted attempt at making Cuoco an action star. On one hand, she’s a loving wife to her husband Dave (Oyelowo) and their two children. On the other, she’s secretly a professional assassin. When her lives collide, Dave is having trouble processing… Read More »Screener Squad: Role Play https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-role-play/
LIFT MOVIE REVIEW Since this Netflix Kevin Hart heist movie about a crew of skilled thieves stealing a large amount of gold off a plane mid-flight feels like it was generated using AI, we thought about letting AI write the copy for it, however, after several attempts, it was clear that AI has yet to… Read More »Screener Squad: Lift https://oneofus.net/2024/02/screener-squad-lift/
ARGYLLE MOVIE REVIEW From director Matthew Vaughn (The Kingsmen movies) and writer Jason Fuchs (Pan, Wonder Woman) and based on a book that probably doesn’t exist by a fictional person who has the name of the lead character of the film and is assuredly not secretly Taylor Swift, the spy spoof Argylle is here. Elly… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: Argylle https://oneofus.net/2024/02/highly-suspect-reviews-argylle/
TRASH IN THE CAN: LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH Are you ready for goblin king sex, makeshift abortions, and a movie coming to a complete stop so the characters can watch oil wrestling on TV? You better be because these are about the only things that happen in this boring VHS atrocity. Anna Marie McBrayer aka horror… Read More »Trash in the Can: Las Vegas Bloodbath https://oneofus.net/2024/02/trash-in-the-can-las-vegas-bloodbath/
HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS MOVIE REVIEW Strap on your snowshoes and grab your best raccoon skin hat! Cause we’re hiking up to 19th Century, Green Bay, WI. No Cheese Heads here (yet) just a lot of snow and mascot animals waiting to be harvested. Our protagonist Jean Kayak is thrown into the bowels of winter and… Read More »Screener Squad: Hundreds of Beavers https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-hundreds-of-beavers/
ECHO SERIES REVIEW Five months after the events of the Hawkeye series, Maya Lopez is being pursued by Wilson Fisk’s organization, leading her to return to her hometown in Oklahoma, where her ruthless behavior in New York City catches up with her. She must face her past, reconnect with her Native American roots, and embrace… Read More »Screener Squad: Echo https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-echo/
THE BROTHERS SUN SERIES REVIEW Charles Sun (Justin Chien), the Jade Dragon’s number one assassin, is tasked to stop a rogue group of killers that threaten his family’s Taipei crime organization. He’s quick with his kicks and even faster with a knife but his true passion lies in not chopping faces of fiends but rather… Read More »Screener Squad: The Brothers Sun https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-the-brothers-sun/
REACHER SEASON 2 REVIEW If you go to the page for Reacher Season 2 on Amazon Prime, you will find the following synopsis: “When members of Reacher’s old military unit start turning up dead, Reacher has just one thing on his mind – revenge.” While there is nothing inaccurate about that synopsis, there is so… Read More »Screener Squad: Reacher Season 2 https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-reacher-season-2/
FARGO SEASON 5 REVIEW It’s cold outside, murder and mayhem are afoot, and everybody is “Minnesota nice”…must be a new season of Fargo. Noah Hawley’s highly acclaimed anthology series returns in the highly problematic year of 2019, where we find Dot Lyon (Juno Temple) in a bit of a pickle. In the midst of a… Read More »Screener Squad: Fargo Season 5 https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-fargo-season-5/
ARCHER SEASON 14 REVIEW In 2008 the highly anticipated James Bond sequel to Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, premiered to much negative scrutiny. Long gone were the days of Roger Moore running across alligators while dead panning at the camera. The spy genre was now immersed in self seriousness with a tortured Daniel Craig more… Read More »Screener Squad: Archer Season 14 https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-archer-season-14/
THE CURSE SERIES REVIEW Can you handle the uncomfortable cringe comedy of a show like Nathan For You or The Rehearsal? Or the heart-pounding, unbearable tension of Uncut Gems and Good Time? Both creators of those respective projects, Nathan Fielder and Benny Safdie, have come together to give you a perfect amalgamation of their work,… Read More »Screener Squad: The Curse https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-the-curse/
I.S.S. MOVIE REVIEW A group of astronauts and cosmonauts are working together in friendship (and in some cases, more than that) aboard the International Space Station when WWIII between Russia and America breaks out on Earth. The leader of each team gets a private message, ‘Secure the I.S.S. by any means necessary’. Now THAT’S a… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: I.S.S. https://oneofus.net/2024/01/highly-suspect-reviews-i-s-s/
TRASH ON THE TUBE: 704 HAUSER This week we look back on a footnote in the illustrious career of Norman Lear that’s still way too good for our show. Delight in the fully rounded characters, the sharp writing, and despair that The Big Bang Theory got 46 times more episodes. We watched 1994’s 704 Hauser!… Read More »Trash on the Tube: 704 Hauser https://oneofus.net/2024/01/trash-on-the-tube-704-hauser/
THE BEEKEEPER MOVIE REVIEW Jason Statham. Identify Theft. Bees. What do these things have in common? Well, the new David Ayer action movie of course! Jason Statham stars as the titular beekeeper who is living a modest life as a companion of sorts to Eloise (Phylicia Rashad). Once Eloise is scammed out of all her… Read More »Highly Suspect Reviews: The Beekeeper https://oneofus.net/2024/01/highly-suspect-reviews-the-beekeeper/
DESTROY ALL NEIGHBORS MOVIE REVIEW Welcome to January, or as the industry likes to call it “dump month.” Basically this time of year, studios release their lower budget fair that may not do well during Summer or Holidays, but hey… studio needs to make some money back, or leave it to die so it can… Read More »Screener Squad: Destroy All Neighbors https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-destroy-all-neighbors/
DIGITAL NOISE EPISODE 333: BAD NINJAS AND NUNS Our home release show has it all, as Wright and Chris discuss what the throat goat would have thought of Enter the Ninja, 2 Days in the Valley, The Fugitive, Oppenheimer, The Nun 2 and many more new 4k and Blu-Ray releases. All titles were sent to… Read More »Digital Noise Episode 333: Bad Ninjas and Nuns https://oneofus.net/2024/01/digital-noise-episode-333-bad-ninjas-and-nuns/
GOOD GRIEF MOVIE REVIEW On a late night talk show, a famous west end actor recounted the grief felt when his mother passed away. In summation he said “…So, I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her”. Wise words from a thespian that… Read More »Screener Squad: Good Grief https://oneofus.net/2024/01/screener-squad-good-grief/
