Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
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Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out. I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful 5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort 12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks 16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking 26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses 33:30: Graduated exposure 39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change 44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee 54:25: Responding to anxiety 1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape 1:08:40: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.” You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: The useful aspects of anger 5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response 8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger 13:40: Navigating resentment 21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger 32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature 35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment 39:45: Going from complaint to request 43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger 52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed 54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves 59:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well 7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you 14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies 20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy 21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious 23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement 25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself 29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs 36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences 41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking 46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching 52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working 1:02:15: The role of client motivation 1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist 1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement 1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients 1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting 1:21:20: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame. Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault. About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book 6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter 10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma 16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it 20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc 23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work 28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner 30:35: Tenderness 34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories 39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety 43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing 46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion 49:45: Living by dying 52:15: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair 7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency 12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present 18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves 28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle 32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds 38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past 41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences 45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had 57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being 1:02:00: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What is emotional immaturity? 7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms 14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers 18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy 25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self 29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood 41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self 50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships 56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance 1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base 1:06:20: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more. About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s 4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities 8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world 14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication 23:25: The “strength of weak ties” 27:20: Self-concept and identity capital 30:30: What helps people take action 34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety 41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved 46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck 49:20: How to choose purpose 58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s 1:04:45: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail. They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Understanding the stress response 9:05: Asking if your stress response serves your relationships 15:25: The difficulty of perceiving your freeze response 19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice 23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation 30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard 38:10: Exploring new ways of being with a hypothetical case study 53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety 1:02:55: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational? 11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts? 21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system? 39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT? 55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through? 1:05:10: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Soonsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s 4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action 8:00: Embrace mentorship 13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values 21:30: Try things, and let yourself change 24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships) 27:35: Identify useful feedback 31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure 36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results 38:25: Focus on where you have agency 44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values 46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like 47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self 49:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Common features of self-abandonment 12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen 16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism 21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others 33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity 40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense 50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness 55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs 58:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer. Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains. About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book. Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program 6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior 11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower 18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring 24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning 31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise 36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating 44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer 52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception 57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer 1:07:45: Caring for our future self 1:11:30: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client 6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences 9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts 16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation 23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client 29:10: Titration and traumatic release 33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult” 40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client 46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns 49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices 53:55: Finding a supportive community 57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity 58:55: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it. About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages 5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability 11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics 19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships 25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker 33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change 36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs 41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met 46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time 48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood 52:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it. About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book 7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you 12:05: Dealing with shame 14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions 24:40: Believing in your experience 27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD 31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation 36:05: Creating a sense of community 39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD 47:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one! Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire 11:30: The story craving tells us 15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking 21:15: “21st century problems” 25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire 29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom 35:20: The search for the slightly better experience 42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here 47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience 59:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important skills we can learn: how we can become more aware of all the parts of our experience, avoid being captured by any one of them, and work with those parts more skillfully. One of the key tools we have for accomplishing this is or the “feeling tone” of our experience. Author and meditation teacher Dr. Danny Penman joins the show to explore the role of how we can help our brain interpret the world more accurately, and practical tools for relaxing suffering and enjoying life. About our Guest: Danny Penman is a meditation teacher, an award-winning writer and journalist, and the co-author of the classic https://amzn.to/3tS6yc5 with Dr. Mark Williams. Dr. Williams was one of the original creators of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mark and Danny are back with the new book https://amzn.to/3vDCZeL. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. https://forresthanson.substack.com/ KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: How a major injury started Danny’s professional relationship with mindfulness practice 10:45: and unpacking the different aspects of our experience 18:20: The sensations that precede our thoughts 24:45: How the brain creates a model of reality, and whether that model is accurate 29:40: How an undisciplined relationship with feeling tone creates unnecessary suffering 37:00: Accepting a feeling vs. approving of a situation 44:10: Practical steps to feeling our feelings 48:00: Finding enjoyment in new habits, especially somatically 57:50: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/YaFlGrqjVGM. SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. How can we understand and support someone going through a mental health crisis? Is meditation enough to heal trauma? And what can we do about family members that just won’t change? You’ll learn why offering help isn’t always helpful, how to deal with unskillful feedback, and approaches that help with setting and achieving long-term goals. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. https://forresthanson.substack.com/ KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: Question #1 - How can I support a friend who is going through a mental health crisis? 7:10: What’s a “psychotic break,” and being careful with clinical terminology. 12:00: Question #2 - Is it possible to heal trauma through meditation alone? 20:25: Question #3 - How do I start again when I’ve fallen off the wagon? 27:30: Question #4 - Is feedback necessary for growth? And what kind of feedback is helpful? 33:10: Question #5 - How can I improve my relationship with money? 42:20: Question #6 - I’m very frustrated with a family member who just won’t change their bad behavior. What can I do? 54:05: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/Fgy0yQNcSrI. SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, to explore how we can integrate all the aspects of who we are. They explain the IFS model, the nature of parts and their roles, and how we can use this knowledge to increase self-awareness and deal with common problems. Then Rick and Dr. Schwartz dive deep into the nature of the “Self,” where it comes from, and how we can tune into and strengthen it. This was a wide-ranging conversation, and we were thrilled to have Dr. Schwartz on the podcast again. You won’t want to miss this one. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Dr. Richard “Dick” Schwartz is the creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, and has authored a number of books and over fifty articles focused on IFS. His newest book is https://amzn.to/3w7DQzA. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. https://forresthanson.substack.com/ KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Quick explanation of the IFS Model 6:45: Releasing the “Self” 11:10: Where does the Self come from? 16:00: How the practical side of IFS connects to the spiritual 23:20: The four goals of IFS, and parts of parts 26:15: Becoming your own attachment figure 32:15: Richard’s experience integrating his exiled parts 37:25: Personification in IFS. Why think in terms of “parts”? 46:15: Why befriend our “bad” parts? 49:55: The non-pathologizing nature of IFS in a clinical framework 55:25: First and second darts 57:15: Identifying parts with curiosity, courage, and physical awareness 1:03:25: How asking yourself questions gets you in touch with your intuition 1:12:45: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/UyixuKVvuWI. SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Forrest and Dr. Buqué talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. They focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like and She’s the author of the new book https://amzn.to/3R5l1ZKand host of the podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/break-the-cycle-with-dr-mariel/id1615137061 by the same name. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/GZG9nPaEUVw. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: What drew Mariel to this work 10:25: How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma 17:00: Common patterns of her clients 20:00: Most people’s initial motivation to find healing 24:45: Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems 33:20: Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns 39:40: Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve 44:05: Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you 47:40: Creating an intergenerational trauma tree 55:00: Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open 58:00: The shortcomings of the western medical outlook 1:00:45: Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response 1:06:15: Values and healthy pride 1:08:40: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Dr. Rick and Forrest kick off 2024 by exploring how we can relate to the past, plan for the future, and get more from the year ahead. They talk about different approaches to New Years, the tactics that maximize your chances of achieving a goal, and a simple four question system for reflecting on and learning from the year that was. You'll learn how to create useful resolutions, put 2023 into perspective, and set yourself up for success in the year to come! Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. https://forresthanson.substack.com/ Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! https://www.fwbprogram.com/ The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. Visit FWBProgram.com https://www.fwbprogram.com/ to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Rick's approach to New Year’s resolutions 4:05: Going from being to doing to having 10:15: Four questions to ask yourself around the New Year 22:00: A S.M.A.R.T. way to put New Year’s resolutions into form 25:45: Bottom-up intentions, and the feeling of a completed intention 29:15: Trying different somatic cues for embodying an intention 32:00: Finding your allies, not oversharing your goals, and physically declaring priorities 40:45: Getting on your own side 51:40: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/n9qPY-3O0ws. SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Forrest and Elizabeth welcome listeners into their home to talk about their changing relationship with the holidays, letting go of the past, healthy boundaries, glimmers, and different paths to taking in the good. Along the way they talk about different approaches to working with trauma, connecting with the body, and getting on our own side. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/dUXjZZSd9vc. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Elizabeth’s history with the holidays, and claiming your own rituals 5:20: Experiencing the holidays without an agenda 10:15: Glimmers in Polyvagal Theory 14:10: Working with a challenging relationship history 21:35: Somatic psychology, and respecting the mind 28:40: Regulating through movement 31:55: Staying yourself inside of your family 38:45: Enjoying agency, and emphasizing beauty 42:30: Entrapment and defeat, awareness, and saying no 47:15: Attachment, contracting around desire, and taking a moment for yourself 51:20: A practice of finding glimmers 55:35: Self-compassion and camaraderie during the holidays REGISTER FOR RICK’S YEARLY PROGRAM! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 https://www.fwbprogram.com/ is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com https://www.fwbprogram.com/ to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Dr. Rick joins Forrest for a deep dive into harnessing our natural generativity. How can we become more productive and creative, experience greater satisfaction, and lean into our biological drives to get more of what we want out of life? They explore what a drive is, our natural drive states, and what we can learn from models of motivation like self-determination theory, before moving on to what we can do if generativity doesn’t come naturally to us. Rick and Forrest share how we can lean into enjoyable experiences, feel more competent and autonomous, and learn to brave experiences of failure. The second half of the episode focuses on psychological tools that help us activate, enjoy, and hang out in generative states more often. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/wh9Rd5HNF1Q. REGISTER FOR RICK’S YEARLY PROGRAM! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 https://www.fwbprogram.com/ is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com https://www.fwbprogram.com/ to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Rick's ability to stay generative. 3:25: Motivation, aggression, and our interdependence with others 12:10: A theoretical framework for generative drive 14:50: The process of making something as a form of healing 19:30: Confidence, autonomy, and relatedness 23:55: The way we think of ourselves 28:10: Agency, and what we can and cannot influence 34:30: Comfort with aggression 40:55: Work ethic, the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding your why 47:45: Competency and flow 50:55: Having positive associations with effort 57:10: Enriching vs. absorbing our experience 1:01:30: The little things that make a big difference 1:04:30: Recap SPONSORS: Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
We’re getting toward the end of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to evaluate where we are and where we’d like to go. On today's episode, https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCTQ76U2QuSNZvp1JO_BF5zADr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can step out of the way we've been, and into a new way of thinking, doing, and being. They talk about self-concept, unconscious beliefs, and how those beliefs affect our behavior. Forrest then shares a model of what this kind of change tends to look like practically, which usually includes relax our attachment to the things that are holding us back. Other topics include getting down to "the tip of the root," taking a step back from our narratives, challenging limiting beliefs, taking life less personally, working with discouragement, and finding motivation and drive. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/iO5hbdFkYSE. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: Self-concept, how unconscious beliefs affect behavior, and freedom 5:40: Appraisals and attributions 9:35: The way we spin our self-narrative, and holding onto grievances 14:25: Being honest with ourselves when we feel stuck 19:30: Changing behavior before changing thinking 25:15: Values and behaviors 29:05: Underlying fears and practical confusion 33:50: Taking your experiences less personally 36:05: Finding the motivation to get our hands dirty 41:30: Negativity bias and appreciative inquiry 47:45: First steps when you’re feeling discouraged 56:55: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict). ABOUT OUR GUEST: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is https://amzn.to/3QpbVXk, out on December 26th. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/ll-uU2Pecx4. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths 7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity 11:05: Not giving away your power 14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships 18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations 22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse 27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation 31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes 34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions 38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’ 41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs 45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves 49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance 51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’ 55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences 1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility 1:03:40: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast or send it in to contact@beingwellpodcast.com. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/MjGXsD9Xhb8. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?” 12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair? 22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them? 28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do? 34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive? 40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? 55:15: Recap SPONSORS: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
In one of the most interesting conversations we've ever had on the podcast, Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma. They begin with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before Forrest asks him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham then takes them away from the conceptual, and toward the felt. They talk about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shares about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma https://icahn.mssm.edu/research/center-complex-trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book https://amzn.to/3SHzxco You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/kXBJeHz7tsY. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Jacob’s background 5:20: Cultivating a felt sense of connection vs. idolizing the concept of trauma 11:00: A monastic, medical, and artistic approach 13:00: Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist 18:00: Surrendering to overwhelming grief 23:50: Love, vulnerability, and authenticity 29:45: The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility 34:45: Presence, and taking risks as a clinician 40:40: How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual 46:15: Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon 49:25: Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma? 52:30: Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever 56:20: Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help 1:00:15: Tipping points and surrender 1:04:15: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun. If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it. You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/8kBI3AttBCQ. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: What makes the holidays tough? 5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you 14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude 24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation 26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries 32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes 38:50: Getting through when it’s hard 43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up 47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest 51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss 1:01:40: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released https://www.amazon.com/Our-Polyvagal-World-Safety-Trauma/dp/1324030259 You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/CWVgXQKrqQ4. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) 5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states 12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body 19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work 23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation 27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically 30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe 34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person 37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues 39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world 41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization 43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment 47:05: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Zocdoc http://zocdoc.com/being helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being https://zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at and the author of a number of wonderful books including https://www.amazon.com/Practice-Groundedness-Transformative-Feeds-Not-Crushes-Your/dp/0593329899and his most recent book https://www.amazon.com/Master-Change-Everything-Changing-Including-ebook/dp/B0C9WPTDGJ You can watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/8TsJPKf1OiI. KEY TOPICS: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Brad has come to think about change 3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis 6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility 13:00: Creating a more flexible identity 20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’ 24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego 28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight 34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change 39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress 41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process 45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy 49:20: Expecting discomfort 51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner 55:05: Values and perspectives 1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle 1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves 1:04:15: Recap SUPPORT THE PODCAST: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast SPONSORS: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING http://www.babbel.com/being. Factor http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 http://factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric https://www.npr.org/series/1199526213/body-electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts https://www.npr.org/series/1199526213/body-electric! Join over a million people using BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell https://www.betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! http://calm.com/beingwell Visit calm.com/beingwell http://calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace http://squarespace.com/beingwell! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell http://squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: __ __
