In this episode CLG lays out the shortest, simplest pathway to the result perfectionists actually want: power, peace and presence with a special focus on parenting and daily life.  Discover the root of control versus power, the outdated strategies not designed for perfectionistic brains very widely used in psychotherapy and why they’re ultimately harmful to perfectionists in the long-run.

Imagine steering a tiny dinghy in stormy seas. That's control. Now, picture yourself commanding a majestic yacht, gliding effortlessly over the waves. That's power. That’s this episode. 

Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you join Perfectionism Leveraged you get customized 1-1 coaching + the SKILLS you've never been taught that FREE you from panic + controlling everything  all the time. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

• Parenting Insights: Essential tips for perfectionist parents on presence and power dynamics with children
• Recognizing the REAL reasons underneath your need for control and getting to the root of feeling safe
• Understanding the distinction between living in the present moment and being fixated on being happy the future
• E.P.I.C. Framework: Introducing the Embodied Presence Interoceptive Connection framework for perfectionists ready to live a calm, empowered and deliciously rich life.

Highlights inside Your Holiday Present from Perfectionism Rewired:

00:00-Holiday gift: Upgrading from control to power

01:52-Understanding the impact of controlling perfectionistic tendencies on daily life

03:11-Felt Safety: Why your environment doesn't determine your safety and what does

05:53-Hidden motivations secretly fueling perfectionism anxiety

07:22-The Power Perfectionist: How detaching from outcomes is the POWER MOVE

09:00-Mindfulness Strategies for stepping off the hamster wheel from hell (Control Loops)

10:42-Distinction between needing and wanting to do something

13:14-Perks of living in Present Time + enhancing perfectionist productivity

15:04-Being responsive instead of reactive

16:54-Truth Booth: Extremely Controlling In Relationships

18:37-Holism, person-emotion-action = presence in your window of tolerance

19:54-Exploring embodied presence and interoceptive connection

20:20-Your EPIC Framework: Practical tools for perfectionists to tune in + build permanent resilience

23:03-Recognizing the generational impact of self-regulation on perfectionism

"When you start to pay attention to how safe you feel, you better discern whether your perfectionistic response is an accurate reflection of what's happening around you." -Courtney Love Gavin, Perfectionism Rewired Podcast Ep. 196

HIGHLY CREDIBLE SOURCES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:  

1. Barrett, L. F., Mesquita, B., & Gendron, M. (2011). Context in Emotion Perception. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(5), 286–290. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721411422522
2. Frankl, V. E. (1992). *Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy* (4th ed.) (I. Lasch, Trans.). Beacon Press.‌
3. Hinton, A., McReynolds, M. R., Martinez, D., Shuler, H., & Termini, C. M. (2020). The power of saying no. EMBO Reports, 21(7). https://doi.org/10.15252/embr.202050918
4. Lisa Feldman Barrett, Mesquita, B., Ochsner, K. N., & Gross, J. J. (2007). The Experience of Emotion. Annual Review of Psychology, 58(1), 373–403. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085709
5. Mahler, K., McLaughlin, E., & Anson, D. (2020). Interoception across varying degrees of mental wellness. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(4.1, Suppl.). https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2020.74S1-PO9513
6. Mahler, K., (2019). The Interoception Curriculum, Kelly Mahler
7. Mary Durand Thomas, & Bigatti, S. M. (2020). Perfectionism, impostor phenomenon, and mental health in medicine: a literature review. International Journal of Medical Education, 11, 201–213. https://doi.org/10.5116/ijme.5f54.c8f8

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Perfectionism Rewired Ethics + Transparency:

Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by Perfectionist Solutions and is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionism affirming lens. 

What does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionism affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits  to be “fixed” and nobody is a victim of perfectionism. Instead you are fully in charge of YOU, given tools for agency and perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neurodiversity movement that sees no “correct” way for the brain to work and humans as unique individuals who all experience the world differently.