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DEAR DONALD TRUMP JR., I see thou art whining about having to explain to children that a shooter almost killed thy father. Now you know how it feels to be a parent sending their kids to public schools in the USA on any given day. Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is living in America. Your father was the president for 4 years. What did he get done? Nothing. He literally people to “get over it” the day after a mass shooting in Iowa. Human life is meaningless to him. Thou shalt not complain about how unsafe it is as you dad’s cult rallies. He has been stirring up a hive of insane bees for 9 long years now. Did thou really thinkest the killer bees would never sting thee? Thou shalt not blame Democrats for two registered Republicans trying to take out your dad in the last two months. Both assassins were registered as Republicans. This most recent one even voted for thy father in 2016! It is not the fault of Democrats, who have always condemned violence and expressed gratitude that Donald is okay. It is the fault of Republicans, who see no problem in encouraging others to commit acts of violence, as your father did on January 6, 2021. As he did last week against Haitian immigrants. As he always does. Hast thou not ever studied history? Being a fascist leader isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thou might want to read to the end of what happened to Adolph Hitler in World War 2. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Those who live by the violent rhetoric, die by their own violent rhetoric. Those who stand in the way of gun control, shall see their own family members die by guns not being controlled. Here endeth the lesson.
DEAR HUMANS, Lo, last night was wonderful. It was the long waited for comeuppance that Donold so richly deserved. It was the smiting we all needed to watch! Thank you to everyone who joined our live chat! Jesus and I had so much fun hanging out with you! It was so nice having our live chat locked to paid subscribers so we could enjoy it without fear of having any trolls there. After the debate, loser Donold went to the spin room, a sure sign that he knew he had just been destroyed. Every single channel was praising Kamala’s performance and utterly aghast at the things Donold said. Except for Fox News of course, which merely complained that ABC did something called ‘fact-checking.’ His supporters are now vowing to never watch ABC or Disney ever again. LOL…ok sure. https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/kamala-destroys-donoldmegasmite
DEAR HUMANS, We’re back! On today’s episode of the God Pod, God and Jesus discuss all that hath occurred over the last two weeks, from the Democratic National Convention to Dana Bash’s interview with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. A lot of things happened whilst Jesus was on vacation! We also preview the first presidential debate coming on Tuesday night between Kamala and Donold. GOD’S 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY SALE * * * Well, tomorrow marks out 5th birthday here on Substack. It’s been going BONKERS. We are now at #80 on the US Politics leaderboard. Only 10 spots to go to pass the vile one, Ann Coulter. Unlike Tim Pool, Benny Johnson, and all those right wing podcasters, I’m not supported by bribes from Russia. I’m not paid by Putin. All I got is you. To celebrate our milestone, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a Just click HERE TO CLAIM YOUR SEPTEMBER RISE OF DEMOCRACY SPECIAL https://www.thegodpodcast.com/eab754f1 and support God. Don’t miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through September 8th, 2024)
Jesus and I recapped everything that’s happened in the last week. We celebrate the addition of Tim Walz to the Democratic ticket, and laugh our asses off at the ongoing smiting of Downfall Donold. Forsooth, how does Donold keep outdoing himself in the humiliation department? __ __ And so much more. Join us as God and Jesus try to process all the funny things that are happening. I have faith in you, humans. Love, God
DEAR HUMANS, Earlier this week, Jesus and I had the rare opportunity to converse with Project 2025 expert Andra Watkins, who doth cover Project 2025 every single day on her Substack, “HOW PROJECT 2025 WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.” Verily, we quickly discovered that Andra is exceedingly cool and fun, and doth enjoy cursing as much as God. She is delightful and brilliant, and we didst have a blast hanging out with her. In addition to doing the Lord’s work in educating the world on Project 2025, Andra is a cherished member of the God community. I oft see her in our comments and restacking our posts, and if there be one thing God still enjoyeth, it’s that little hit of dopamine from likes, comments, and shares. This is because God is like unto Tinkerbell and doth require thy claps to continue to exist. * > - Michael Scott, Shoot…lost my train of thought. Anyway, cuddle up with a cup of coffee and hang out with us. Thou hast a time. I believe in you, humans. Love, God SPECIAL OFFER: To celebrate our 3 month anniversary on Substack and Kamala’s VP announcement today, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a Just click HERE TO CLAIM YOUR AUGUST RISE OF DEMOCRACY SPECIAL https://www.thegodpodcast.com/f3ad026c and support . Don’t miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through August 9th, 2024)
DEAR HUMANS, Wow, what an episode we have for you this week! The rollercoaster has not slowed down and the last few days have been absolutely wild. We discuss the latest with data nerd Nick Powers. Nick tells us about what he’s seeing and we compare notes. And what we’re seeing is AWESOME. The Kamala momentum is real and spreading. We also laugh at the expense of extreme weirdo JD Vance, which feels SofaKing good. Later on, we discuss Trump’s weird speech to Christians. But first, we review all the amazing statistics! Join us on Substack for all our exclusive content and videos! New content daily! https://www.thegodpodcast.com/subscribe
WATCH THE VIDEO! DEAR HUMANS, I never could have imagined how emotional the past few days would make me. I have cried more tears of joy, hope, and pride than I can remember. For the first time in a long time, I am filled with hope for the future. Joe Biden's decision to step down wasn’t just a brilliant chess move; it was a symbolic passing of the torch from one generation to the next. And all the next generation wants to do is save the world. They have been champing at the bit for a while. I haven’t been this excited about a candidate since 2008. Kamala Harris stepping up and shining in her new role is truly inspiring. Watching her rise to the occasion fills me with immense pride and excitement for what lies ahead. According to new polls today, Kamala is already beating Trump in the polls by 2 points, and she has barely just begun! Of course, we couldn’t help but laugh at the Republicans’ feeble attempts to criticize her. Their main complaint? They don’t like her laugh. It’s comical how they grasp at plastic straws. Meanwhile, Trump is sulking over the money he wasted attacking Biden. HAHAHAHA! Trump attacked the Capitol to cling to power, while Biden voluntarily stepped down for the greater good. This concept of giving up power makes no sense to fascists, it’s as foreign to them as love. In this moment of transition and hope, let’s embrace the future with open hearts and minds. Together, we can rally around Kamala and defeat the power of Trumpian fascism forever. With hope and love, GOD AND JESUS
DEAR HUMANS, Today Jesus and I sit-down with Johnny Palmadessa, a sharp young Democratic Strategist who found himself in the thick of chaos at the Trump campaign rally where a mass shooting occurred on Saturday. One innocent bystander lost their life, and Donald came within 2 inches bullet going through his brain. Johnny shares his firsthand account of the event. Jesus and I tried to wrap our minds around it, and let me tell you, it's not easy processing this kind of madness. Johnny's story is a sobering reminder of the real consequences of divisive rhetoric. It’s a wake-up call, a cosmic nudge, if you will, to re-evaluate who you’re supporting and why. Who will attract more chaos like a magnet in the future? Who will work to calm things down? So, do yourselves a favor and watch the full interview. Trust me, it's worth your time. You'll hear Johnny’s harrowing experience, and maybe, just maybe, you'll come away with a clearer understanding of the gravity of the situation. Plus, Jesus and I throw in some of our classic banter to keep things light. You won't want to miss it. Love, God PS - WATCH THE VIDEO! https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/surviving-the-trump-assassination * * CELEBRATE WITH US: We just hit a milestone—over 500 paid subscribers! It’s a tiny fraction of our 54,000 followers, but every bit helps us keep bringing you divine satire. Thank you for your support! To all our devoted followers, we need your help to keep the comedy flowing. Your subscription not only supports our mission to combat chaos with humor, but it also grants you access to exclusive content. https://www.thegodpodcast.com/subscribe TESTIMONIALS: __ __
Dear Human Being reading this, It’s me, God, and boy, do we have a divine dispatch for you today! We just recorded a brand new episode of The God Pod, and you’re not gonna want to miss this one. We dug into some juicy topics that are hotter than hell's furnace, so grab your popcorn and buckle up. First up, we tackled the question that's been on everyone's mind: Who exactly is trying to push Biden out? Surprise, surprise—it's the millionaires and billionaires pulling the strings. The regular folks? They’re still supporting him. The real puppet masters here are the wealthy elites, and we're exposing their game. Then, we dove into something Ted Lieu mentioned that’s flying under the radar: the Epstein files. Yeah, you heard that right. Lieu said, “Something I've heard that doesn't seem to be getting covered is the Epstein files ... Donald Trump is all over this ... y'all might want to look at that.” The #TrumpPedoFiles should be the hottest hashtag right now. And if that wasn’t enough, MSNBC played a side-by-side clip of President Biden speaking at the NATO summit and Donald Trump’s unhinged rally from last night. Let me tell you, it was like watching a Shakespearean actor next to a guy screaming on a street corner. Biden’s all about diplomacy and coherence, while Trump’s rambling about airports and mothers helplessly watching their kids overdose. Seriously, what alternate reality is this guy living in? Speaking of Trump’s rallies, his latest performance in Doral was a doozy. He goes on about how “Mothers will never again be forced to watch their children overdosing and hosp--lee. And we will never allow mothers to watch their child hopelessly dying in their arms, screaming, ‘What can I do? What can I do? Help me God, what can I do?’” And don't get me started on his rant about dirty, crowded airports. Someone really needs to give this guy a reality check. So, what are you waiting for? Dive into the latest episode and get the full scoop. CELEBRATE WITH US: We just hit a milestone—over 500 paid subscribers! It’s a tiny fraction of our 54,000 followers, but every bit helps us keep bringing you divine satire. Thank you for your support! If you haven’t subscribed to our newsletter yet, what are you waiting for? Head over to thegodpodcast.com to get the latest episodes, satirical news, and more. TESTIMONIALS: __ __
Hey there, you beautiful mortals! It’s me, God, back with another episode of The God Pod. This time, Jesus and I are tearing apart Project 2025, that insane conservative plan to turn the USA into Gilead. First up, I go off on how these utter douchebags want to centralize power and roll back rights. Seriously, it’s like they want to drag us all back to the Dark Ages….and the Dark Ages sucked! Jesus jumps in to rip apart Trump’s lies. He’s pissed, folks, and rightfully so. These idiots would melt the polar ice caps and call it a hot tub party. And don’t get me started on their social security “reforms.” Raising the retirement age and cutting benefits? That’s some seventh circle of hell kind of crap. Stand up against these draconian policies with all the might you can muster. And don't forget to visit thegodpodcast.com to join our community, sign up for our newsletter, and get the latest episodes, satirical news, and letters from yours truly. Whether you are a free or paid subscriber, I appreciate you being part of this community. Tune in, laugh your ass off, and stay informed with God and Jesus. Love, God
Dear Humans, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into the latest Supreme Court decisions and the media hysteria following the debate. Here’s your holy recap: EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: * * * __ __ __ __ QUESTION: How worried are you now, from 1-100? What can we do about all this? Tune in to this episode of The God Pod, "BREAKING: Democracy," for a heavenly mix of humor, truth, and divine commentary. And for more daily updates, visit thegodpodcast.com.
Dear Heavenly Followers, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! 😇 In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into the jaw-dropping scandal involving Trump’s spiritual advisor Robert Morris, who resigned amid allegations he molested a 12-year-old. We also cover Trump’s purely evil suggestion for migrant fighting leagues, his ironic all-caps endorsement of the Ten Commandments, Biden’s lead in the polls, even Fox News cutting away from Trump’s insane gibberish, and George Santos starting an OnlyFans account. Here’s your holy recap: EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: __ __
DEAR HEAVENLY FOLLOWERS, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into a mix of divine humor and righteous rants, covering everything from Louisiana’s latest classroom mandate to the broader implications of such moves. Here’s your holy recap: 🎙️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: WHY LOUISIANA’S TEN COMMANDMENTS MANDATE WON’T SAVE ITS SOUL Louisiana has decided to mandate the display of the Ten Commandments in every classroom. We delve into the historical context, the legal implications, and the irony of this decision given Louisiana's education, crime, and corruption stats. __ __ __ __ __ __ NEW COMMANDMENT: __ __ 🔍 WHY LISTEN? __ __ 📢 DON’T MISS OUT! __ __ NOTE FROM GOD: I accidentaly said the wrong governor's name in this episode. I regret the error.
Hi Humans, We’re back with another divine dispatch from The God Pod! In our latest episode, God and Jesus dive into a mix of divine humor and righteous rants, covering everything from surreal papal meetings to the latest political chaos. Here’s your holy recap: 🎙️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: WHO IS A BETTER FATHER, BIDEN OR TRUMP? Father's Day messages from Biden and Trump couldn't be more different. Biden’s heartfelt message of unity and family contrasts sharply with Trump’s self-centered, grievance-filled rant. We dissect what these messages reveal about their broader political personas. Excuse us if we can't stop laughing at the comparison! COMEDIANS MEET POPE FRANCIS: A 'bizarre' yet impactful encounter where comedians sat down with Pope Francis. We explore how humor and faith can intersect to address pressing social and religious issues. TRUMP'S COGNITIVE TEST CHALLENGE: Trump’s boast about acing a cognitive test becomes ironic as he confuses his own doctor’s name. We discuss the implications of this gaffe on perceptions of his cognitive abilities. REPUBLICAN PANIC AFTER TRUMP'S MILWAUKEE MELTDOWN: Trump’s criticism of Milwaukee throws the GOP into disarray. We explore the potential fallout and its impact on the 2024 election. CHRISTIAN RIGHT VS. NO-FAULT DIVORCE: The campaign against no-fault divorce by the Christian right could significantly impact personal freedoms and marriage laws. We explore this movement and its potential consequences. 2024 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION DEVELOPMENTS: From Trump's MAGA-themed birthday bash to Biden’s forceful campaign rhetoric, we cover the latest election news and what it means for the future of American politics. 🔍 WHY LISTEN? __ __ 📢 DON’T MISS OUT! __ __ 💬 ENGAGING QUESTION: If Trump was drowning because he got electrocuted by a boat, and there were sharks swarming nearby, and you were the only person around, what would you do? https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/who-is-a-better-father-biden-or-trump
🎙️ Episode Highlights: __ __ 🔍 Why Listen? __ __ 📢 Don’t Miss Out! __ __ 💬 Engaging Question: What’s your take on the recent crime data? Do you think the public perception is being manipulated? And how do you celebrate Father's Day? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!
🎙️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: __ __ 🔍 WHY LISTEN? __ __ 📢 DON’T MISS OUT! __ __
Today on The God Pod, God and Jesus discuss: __ __ Have a question for God and Jesus that you want answered on the show? Let us know in the comments on the website! Join our newsletter and never miss an episode or satire news article again: https://www.thegodpodcast.com/
Happy Pride Month! What a week it was! Jesus and God catch up and laugh and laugh and laugh. We discuss where we were when we heard the news that he was convicted, and everything that’s happened since. We discuss: __ __ Where were you when you first heard Trump was convicted? Let us know in the comments! JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER AND NEVER MISS AN EPISODE OR SATIRE NEWS ARTICLE AGAIN: HTTPS://WWW.THEGODPODCAST.COM/
On this week’s episode of The God Pod I hang out with my son Jesus Christ after a week off in Jamaica, mon. We discuss: __ __
Dear Americans, As the Almighty LORD THY GOD, I’ve watched over humanity for thousands of years. I’ve seen the evolution of societies, the rise and fall of empires, and the ebb and flow of human rights. Today, I’m frigging furious over Alabama Senator Katie Britt’s proposal for the ‘MOMS’ act, which OF COURSE she says would help moms, but in fact would create a federal database of pregnant women. And that is terrifying. This dystopian database not only infringes on personal freedoms but paves the way for a ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ future. Once created, anytime a woman gets pregnant, it would be one step away from Republicans forcing every pregnant woman to sign up for this database. They would be force-fed pro-life propaganda and denied all access to any information even considering the option for abortion. What’s next? GPS collar trackers to put on their necks to make sure they don’t try to flee to a state that offers abortion access? I can just hear them now, “These GPS, or GOD positioning system trackers, will keep all babies safe from baby-eating atheists.” Set against the backdrop of a second Trump presidency, and the onslaught of Project 2025, there is no question that Republicans are viewing “The Handmaid’s Tale” not as a work of fiction, but as a guide for how to form the future. Did this proposal set off alarm bells across the political spectrum? Was it being covered on all major news networks? I didn’t see anything about it except for what I saw online. Oh, I’m sure it was mentioned on some broadcasts, but sparingly if at all. No time for any of that while they’re busy obsessing about other things. BUT GOD SAW IT. The mere suggestion of such a database should be driving everyone in the country who believes in personal freedom, privacy, and public health? …absolutely insane. I implore you to stand with me against this measure. Spread the word about what the Republicans are trying to do. It’s not enough for them to take away a woman’s right to choose. They will never stop reaching for more. They won’t stop until every woman has an implant that tracks their physical location at all times. Thou shalt not create a federal database of pregnant women, for it is an affront to the sanctity of personal autonomy and the essence of human dignity. God https://thegodpod.substack.com/
In this episode of the God Pod, God tells Jesus how excited he is to have joined Substack and grow a newsletter there: https://thegodpod.substack.com/ Also discussed today: __ __
God goes on hiatus and his evil twin brother ‘Tod’ replaces him to discuss the latest news with Jesus. Discussed today: __ __ All this and so much more on today’s episode of The God Pod!
God and Jesus hang out and review the latest news. Discussed today: __ __ Listen to God’s frigging podcast, dammit.
God and Jesus travel back in time to the year 1864, just kidding it’s still 2024, although it’s hard to tell sometimes. Discussed today: __ __ Listen to God’s frigging podcast, dammit.
TODAY GOD AND JESUS DISCUSS: Trump sells Bibles for $60, MAGA freaks out over National Trans Easter Visibility Day, Project 2025, and Christian conservatives go nuts over the coming total eclipse of the sun. All this and more on this episode of the God Podcast.
God and Jesus review all the latest news in politics, entertainment, and the world.
God and Jesus respond to the Oscars! Also discussed today: __ __ We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did recording it! Follow the God Pod on your favorite podcasting platform: https://linktr.ee/godpod Join our Patreon for special access: https://www.patreon.com/godpod
God and Jesus discuss the latest developments with the Supremely Corrupt Court and Donald Chump. Also discussed on this episode: __ __ Finally, God and Jesus spend time answering questions live from humans. JOIN US for live tapings of the God Pod Mondays at 6pm EST on God’s Facebook, YouTube, or Twitch channel. Watch wherever you want. Have it Yahweh! NEW PODCAST EPISODE EVERY TUESDAY Follow the God Pod on your favorite podcasting platform: https://linktr.ee/godpod
This week, God and Jesus respond to: __ __ JOIN US for live tapings of the God Pod Mondays at 6pm EST on God’s Facebook, YouTube, or Twitch channel. Watch wherever you want. Have it Yahweh! NEW PODCAST EPISODES WEEKLY Follow the God Pod on your favorite podcasting platform: https://linktr.ee/godpod JOIN OUR COMMUNITY Join our Patreon for special access: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Discord: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC
